I attended a two days "Leaders in London" Conference end of last year. The speakers' line-up was impressive. Tuesday started with Mr Mikhail Gorbachiv (in person), Professor Marvin Zonis, Alan Leighton, Terence Conran, Lou Gerstner, Professor Clayton Christensen of Harvard and many others including the one and only Bill Clinton (live via Satellite).
On the Art Of Listening and Leadership - "Something I have been trying to learn for the last 25 years" I want to share with you the lesson and the leadership by example that Bill Clinton tough us all in the conference on the art of listening.
After he made his speech, he started taking questions. I asked one too, the President and the audience were visibly amused by my name especially after assuring them that "I am the nice one".
Among the attendees there was a lady who didn't speak good English and earlier in the day when she was given the microphone to ask a question, she went on and on for 5 minutes and no one understood what she was trying to ask or say and we all laughed. When it came to Clinton question time, she raised her hand again to ask a question, the moderator warned her to be quick and to the point. The lady took the Microphone and started to rumble on and on. Again it seemed that no one understood what she was saying, people started to laugh, boo, clap their hand for her to stop. After a few minutes of this saga the moderator cut her microphone off and gave the question time to someone else. People were cheering his decision to move on, after all no one wanted to be embarrassed in front off the great president.
While all this saga was taking place and all of us laughing and disapproving of this behaviour from the lady, only one person was NOT laughing, Bill Clinton. In fact he leaned forward to the camera and put his hand on his ears and focused intently and seriously. 30 minutes passed while he answered a few other questions from the audience and when the time came to close, he said very politely; Wait Rene, before you close... Earlier on a lady asked me a long question and I would like to talk about that for a minute.
The hall dropped into silence, he continued by saying, in fact the lady made a very important point, and he went on to summarize her point which was about families in the developing world (none of the audience knew that), and he asked to be allowed to answer this important question, which he himself put together from her scattered little stories before we the audience interrupted and stopped her.
Now I began to understand at the hands of the guru of leadership and listening in practice and what he was trying to teach by his actions. When we JUDGE any one or any thing, we stop listening. It seems that the act of judgment trigger some chemicals in our ears that physically stops us from listening. Pre-judgment seems to be the mother of all sins on this planet. There seems to be no other solution to world problems but the forgotten art of listening and stopping judgement. This is what I learned that day and I hope it stays with me forever.
This was also an impressive performance by a world leader who is not only very intelligent but also listens very seriously to what people are saying.
I will never forget this incident which taught me a lot about leadership and what listening is all about and here I am humbly sharing my experience with you hoping that it adds a little to our understanding of the Art of listening.
Author Bio
Osama El-kadi
Born 1955 in Manchester England Osama El-Kadi graduated in 1978 with a BSC in Economics followed by an MA in International Business from Alexandria University. The Art Of Negotiation.
Article Source: http://www.ArticleGeek.com - Free Website Content
Wednesday 27 February 2013
Saturday 23 February 2013
Ten Powerful Keys to Healing Yourself
By: Wayne McDonald
1. Be PresentLive in the now. The past is gone. You can never go back and make it right. You can never re-live a life that was yesterday. Live positively in the present moment, no matter what is occurring. It is All right and perfect. Do not look ahead and dread what may come. Our mind creates a lot of chatter and makes us afraid in order to keep us safe. Tell your mind "Thanks for sharing" and affirm "I am here, I am present". You are always at choice and you know how to make this day beautiful.
2. Nature
Sit on the lawn or next to a tree. Feel the pulse of the earth, the grandeur of the sky, the coolness of the breeze on your face, or the warmth of the sun on your face. Smile at nature, say hello to the bugs and all the animals you meet. Take a walk in a park or hike on a trail.
3. Exercise
Daily exercise gives you a break from ! your mind chatter, helps pump your heart, circulates your blood, clears toxins from your body, charges you with energy and has many other benefits. Choose an activity that is fun and mix it up. Do walking one day and yoga another day. Take a Tai Chi class and meet new people. The list of possibilities is endless.
4. Spirituality
Recognize and know you are important and unique. Meditate, or sit quietly, and be in the moment. Read books that are uplifting and have positive messages. Give thanks for your health, your home, your friends, all the joy and happiness in your life and all the good that surrounds you.
5. Forgiveness
It is time to let it go. Forgive all parts of yourself to be whole and perfect. Forgive yourself for any past mistakes or shortcomings; forgive the child within for being afraid; forgive the teenager that spoke words of anger; forgive the young adult for not being a risk taker. Forgive others in the past. Forgive your parents, your siblings and relatives. Let go of all grudges. Forgiveness is about coming to peace within yourself.
6. Bubble Bath
Give yourself permission to relax and savor quiet times. Read a book for fun. Spend that extra money and get a massage or a facial. Do something selfish for yourself.
7. Nutrition
Listen to your body. Feed it good nutritious food. Take a high quality multi-vitamin or a liquid supplement. Most health challenges can be reduced or eliminated with a dietary supplement.
8. Let Go of Judgment
Give up judgement and give up blame. Never speak critically of others or yourself. Speak words of encouragement to yourself and everyone you meet. Accept everyone for who they are and embrace their differences.
9. Service To Others
Reach out and lend a hand to a friend in need. Offer unconditional service to others. Be a great listener and really listen to people when they speak. Find ways to help others to lift their spirits and help lessen their burdens.
10. Love
Love yourself and use positive words of encouragement. Compliment strangers and make others smile. Speak from a loving heart and shine with joy.
Author Bio
Wayne McDonald is a licensed Life Practitioner and a Public Speaker and the founder of www.HolisticWebDirectory.com - an on-line health directory of complimentary health care professionals. Signup today for your monthly Health Ezine at submit-ezine@aweber.com.
Article Source: http://www.ArticleGeek.com - Free Website Content
Wednesday 20 February 2013
Tess's Blog (February)
FX: TYPING NOISES:
9th February. Hi Tess, the high priestess back with you again <3 <3 <3. I have just returned from a gestalt therapy weekend. The groundrules were that no-one was allowed to say anything unless it was a genuine expression of being in the moment, in authentic relationship. Between you and me I think the facilitator is not hip with the times we live in. LOL. Who pays any attention whatsoever to ‘the moment’ these days – people are too busy scheduling their FB and twitter posts between checking up on how many mentions they are getting on social media. Being in the moment is just so 20th century. So we just sat round in a circle in silence for each session and rushed to our smartphones at the breaks. So much for basing psychological principles on German loan words.
My three favourite German loan words: Zugzwang (I just had an irresistible compulsion to move this to be 1st in the list), Schadenfreude (Not that I am guilty of this of course :) ), and Gemütlichkeit (the feeling I get when I bring up FB on my smartphone!)
FX: TYPING NOISES:
10th February. I just finished reading this truly amazing book about how to see auras demonstrating how real and useful this is – and all those scientific cynics think we just make this stuff up! All you need to is screw up your eyes and squint off to one side while almost looking at somebody. Try it for yourself, it is so cool. I started thinking to myself would Chinese people have a yellowish tinge to their aura – and then I thought am I being racist? What do you think? Being PC is such a minefield these days. Maybe I will just change my holiday plans so I can visit Beijing to SCIENTIFICALLY test my theory out. It would give me a chance to encounter a dragon too! I wonder if dragons eat pandas. Yes, of course, why didn’t I think of that before - that would explain why pandas are getting so scarce!
My three favourite colours: pink (of course), octarine, and the top fashion colour trend of the year (of course! squared!, … wouldn’t it be so cool if it was octarine!!!)
FX: TYPING NOISES:
11th February. I realised why I have been thinking of dragons so much recently. It is my subconscious preparing me for a huge trial in my life coming up next week. I am so proud of myself. This is a huge step for me. Yes I have finally plucked up the courage to do this. I am so brave. I am going to join my mmorpg clan for the raid to take on Smaug in his Lonely Mountain lair next week. Don’t you think I am soooooo brave? We are so going to kick dragon ass. It will be the highlight of Princess P’s career (that’s me!) – and I might even break through to level 30! Wow. I must remember to add this to my linked in profile.
My three favourite dragons: Gringotts’ Ukrainian Ironbelly (of course!), Norbert (aww diddums, so cute) and Dragon Naturally Speaking (I have so been breaking so many fingernails typing!)
FX: TESTING, TESTING NOISES:
12th February. After my colonic irrigation last month I thought it was about time to get started on my super healthy energy boosting NATURAL diet. I am only going to eat Açaí, members of the Allium Family, the 3Bs (Barley, Beans & Buckwheat), Lentils, Hot Peppers, Nuts and Seeds, Yogurt and anything that is Green (I so couldn’t live without my energising daily dose of Green M&Ms) – and nothing else! Only stuff that is NATURAL! Kevin my ignorant nerdy brother said I should add Strychnine to my super diet as that is NATURAL too. I think he was trying to be sarcastic. But I wiped the smile off his face – he was just dumbfounded when I said in that case I would have it for breakfast every day.
My three favourite foods: M&Ms (of course), Smash potatoes (must remember to order some more green food dye), and Strychnine (starting tomorrow)
FX: CURSING NOISES:
13rd February. Bummer. Amazon does not sell Strychnine. And speaking of Amazon, apologies for the short post today but I need to buy a new T Shirt, and I have a lot of reviews to get through before I commit to going for an Original Three Wolf Moon Adult T-Shirt
My three favourite wolves: White Fang, Sköll (reminds me of my favourite lager), and Wolverhampton Wanderers F.C. ("out of darkness cometh light" – I can be so profound at times!)
FX: TYPING NOISES:
14th February. I had so many cards today … from uncles and aunties – sigh, it is my birthday tomorrow. I had hoped that this year at least I would have one … well apart from the one I sent myself disguising my handwriting by writing upside down with my left hand. This did kind of back fire when my stupid brother asked me when I started dating someone from the second grade. Does he not know how much pressure there is to change your FB relationship status!!!
My three favourite cupids: Eros (of course), The Stupid Cupids (need I say more?), Cupids Couch (for adults only!)
9th February. Hi Tess, the high priestess back with you again <3 <3 <3. I have just returned from a gestalt therapy weekend. The groundrules were that no-one was allowed to say anything unless it was a genuine expression of being in the moment, in authentic relationship. Between you and me I think the facilitator is not hip with the times we live in. LOL. Who pays any attention whatsoever to ‘the moment’ these days – people are too busy scheduling their FB and twitter posts between checking up on how many mentions they are getting on social media. Being in the moment is just so 20th century. So we just sat round in a circle in silence for each session and rushed to our smartphones at the breaks. So much for basing psychological principles on German loan words.
My three favourite German loan words: Zugzwang (I just had an irresistible compulsion to move this to be 1st in the list), Schadenfreude (Not that I am guilty of this of course :) ), and Gemütlichkeit (the feeling I get when I bring up FB on my smartphone!)
FX: TYPING NOISES:
10th February. I just finished reading this truly amazing book about how to see auras demonstrating how real and useful this is – and all those scientific cynics think we just make this stuff up! All you need to is screw up your eyes and squint off to one side while almost looking at somebody. Try it for yourself, it is so cool. I started thinking to myself would Chinese people have a yellowish tinge to their aura – and then I thought am I being racist? What do you think? Being PC is such a minefield these days. Maybe I will just change my holiday plans so I can visit Beijing to SCIENTIFICALLY test my theory out. It would give me a chance to encounter a dragon too! I wonder if dragons eat pandas. Yes, of course, why didn’t I think of that before - that would explain why pandas are getting so scarce!
My three favourite colours: pink (of course), octarine, and the top fashion colour trend of the year (of course! squared!, … wouldn’t it be so cool if it was octarine!!!)
FX: TYPING NOISES:
11th February. I realised why I have been thinking of dragons so much recently. It is my subconscious preparing me for a huge trial in my life coming up next week. I am so proud of myself. This is a huge step for me. Yes I have finally plucked up the courage to do this. I am so brave. I am going to join my mmorpg clan for the raid to take on Smaug in his Lonely Mountain lair next week. Don’t you think I am soooooo brave? We are so going to kick dragon ass. It will be the highlight of Princess P’s career (that’s me!) – and I might even break through to level 30! Wow. I must remember to add this to my linked in profile.
My three favourite dragons: Gringotts’ Ukrainian Ironbelly (of course!), Norbert (aww diddums, so cute) and Dragon Naturally Speaking (I have so been breaking so many fingernails typing!)
FX: TESTING, TESTING NOISES:
12th February. After my colonic irrigation last month I thought it was about time to get started on my super healthy energy boosting NATURAL diet. I am only going to eat Açaí, members of the Allium Family, the 3Bs (Barley, Beans & Buckwheat), Lentils, Hot Peppers, Nuts and Seeds, Yogurt and anything that is Green (I so couldn’t live without my energising daily dose of Green M&Ms) – and nothing else! Only stuff that is NATURAL! Kevin my ignorant nerdy brother said I should add Strychnine to my super diet as that is NATURAL too. I think he was trying to be sarcastic. But I wiped the smile off his face – he was just dumbfounded when I said in that case I would have it for breakfast every day.
My three favourite foods: M&Ms (of course), Smash potatoes (must remember to order some more green food dye), and Strychnine (starting tomorrow)
FX: CURSING NOISES:
13rd February. Bummer. Amazon does not sell Strychnine. And speaking of Amazon, apologies for the short post today but I need to buy a new T Shirt, and I have a lot of reviews to get through before I commit to going for an Original Three Wolf Moon Adult T-Shirt
My three favourite wolves: White Fang, Sköll (reminds me of my favourite lager), and Wolverhampton Wanderers F.C. ("out of darkness cometh light" – I can be so profound at times!)
FX: TYPING NOISES:
14th February. I had so many cards today … from uncles and aunties – sigh, it is my birthday tomorrow. I had hoped that this year at least I would have one … well apart from the one I sent myself disguising my handwriting by writing upside down with my left hand. This did kind of back fire when my stupid brother asked me when I started dating someone from the second grade. Does he not know how much pressure there is to change your FB relationship status!!!
My three favourite cupids: Eros (of course), The Stupid Cupids (need I say more?), Cupids Couch (for adults only!)
Saturday 16 February 2013
Do You Realize That You're Living Someone Else's Dream?
Author: Penny Phang
It's no secret that your relationships with others are enriched when you learn to appreciate one another for the little things (not just the big stuff). The same goes for feeling enriched in the life you live – regardless of your circumstances. When you learn to continuously appreciate the "little" things in life, only then will you discover an indestructible inner peace within – one that money cannot buy.
This is most evident in people who are less fortunate and yet able to stay in good spirits. They've found a way to maintain inner peace regardless of their situation.
I've come to know that part of the journey to finding inner peace is to understand life is so much more than what's happening in front of us. Just because we do not see it does not mean it isn't there. Just because we do not feel it does not mean it isn't happening. Your life, whether you believe this or not, is but only a dream for billions of people in this world.
Take thirty bucks for example: what's thirty bucks to you? How do you spend thirty bucks in a single day?
Now, what if I told you, in most poverty stricken countries, thirty bucks can provide a child three nourishing meals a day, proper education and medical care for one full month?
In 1994, through World Vision, I sponsored a 5-year-old child in Zimbabwe, Africa, for thirty dollars a month. Her name was Lasi Sibanda. We stayed in touch by mail. However, four years ago, she sent me a letter expressing her deepest gratitude for my sponsorship. The funds have raised her well—she completed school and was working.
What I didn't know was that the funds also helped her family become self-sufficient and in turn, were able to contribute in helping their community. They no longer needed my help. Instead, I was kindly led to sponsor 4-year-old Doreen Komunjumba in Uganda, Africa. It was then that I truly grasp the notion of what thirty dollars can do.
Lives can be empowered… A better future can take shape…
Sadly, many people think of the world as a compartmentalized entity that is made up of various countries. Some of these countries are rich, some poor. Some are over populated, and some under populated. Some are rich with natural resources, others are barren and infertile.
However, where we as individuals fit into this scheme, some may say it's the luck of the draw and others may say it's a choice we can make for this particular lifetime.
If you were born in a region of the world that happens to be rich with resources, or economically prosperous, you're more likely to not worry about where to go for food, what disease you may die of tomorrow, or who will take care of you when you're sick.
The reality is that we are all inhabitants of this single place called earth, and there is no reason why one person arbitrarily born in one country should live in poverty, while others born in another country live a relatively lavish lifestyle.
Imagine for a moment…if the world was one country. Then imagine that the world president started allocating land to all the citizens. How would you feel if you were randomly given a piece of land which turned out to be a desert barren of life, while your next door neighbor ended up on top of a gold mine? Obviously you would think it was unfair, right?
Well then imagine if your rich neighbor started using their wealth and influence to make your life even more difficult by taking what little resources you had, and polluting your environment. That is exactly what happens today between developed and undeveloped countries.
It is a fact that rich nations would not be wealthy if there were not poor nations to support us. We could not possibly afford our products if it wasn't for people working in factories for less than a dollar a day, nor could we afford to feed ourselves if it wasn't for the billions of people farming in developing countries for less than three hundred dollars a year.
We would not be able to buy prawns if it wasn't for the tens of thousands of prawn farms in south east Asia and south America—as there is no way developed societies would allow this environmentally damaging practice to take place in our own backyard.
Examples like these are endless, but they show that the developed world's standard of living, for the most part, is supported by the demise of others.
It is not one person that created the divide between the developed world and the developing world, nor can one person fix the issues. Therefore, we as "global citizens" all have a social and moral obligation to help each other to enable a safe and healthy life for all.
Keep this in mind when you're ready to donate to a charity of your choice. After all, what does thirty bucks mean to you? A cheap sweater? Five Starbucks coffee? For the less fortunate, it means much more; it means a chance for health and education, hope for the future and a great reason to live.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/do-you-realize-that-you039re-living-someone-else039s-dream-1892610.html
About the Author
From her columns to her blog, Penny continues to capture the hearts of her readers with exhilarating insight and inspiring wisdom. Her blog offers tips, advice and inspiration on life and relationships. Let this site be a place you go to for some insight to inspire healthier, happier relationships in your life. Relationship Advice From Penny.com
It's no secret that your relationships with others are enriched when you learn to appreciate one another for the little things (not just the big stuff). The same goes for feeling enriched in the life you live – regardless of your circumstances. When you learn to continuously appreciate the "little" things in life, only then will you discover an indestructible inner peace within – one that money cannot buy.
This is most evident in people who are less fortunate and yet able to stay in good spirits. They've found a way to maintain inner peace regardless of their situation.
I've come to know that part of the journey to finding inner peace is to understand life is so much more than what's happening in front of us. Just because we do not see it does not mean it isn't there. Just because we do not feel it does not mean it isn't happening. Your life, whether you believe this or not, is but only a dream for billions of people in this world.
Take thirty bucks for example: what's thirty bucks to you? How do you spend thirty bucks in a single day?
Now, what if I told you, in most poverty stricken countries, thirty bucks can provide a child three nourishing meals a day, proper education and medical care for one full month?
In 1994, through World Vision, I sponsored a 5-year-old child in Zimbabwe, Africa, for thirty dollars a month. Her name was Lasi Sibanda. We stayed in touch by mail. However, four years ago, she sent me a letter expressing her deepest gratitude for my sponsorship. The funds have raised her well—she completed school and was working.
What I didn't know was that the funds also helped her family become self-sufficient and in turn, were able to contribute in helping their community. They no longer needed my help. Instead, I was kindly led to sponsor 4-year-old Doreen Komunjumba in Uganda, Africa. It was then that I truly grasp the notion of what thirty dollars can do.
Lives can be empowered… A better future can take shape…
Sadly, many people think of the world as a compartmentalized entity that is made up of various countries. Some of these countries are rich, some poor. Some are over populated, and some under populated. Some are rich with natural resources, others are barren and infertile.
However, where we as individuals fit into this scheme, some may say it's the luck of the draw and others may say it's a choice we can make for this particular lifetime.
If you were born in a region of the world that happens to be rich with resources, or economically prosperous, you're more likely to not worry about where to go for food, what disease you may die of tomorrow, or who will take care of you when you're sick.
The reality is that we are all inhabitants of this single place called earth, and there is no reason why one person arbitrarily born in one country should live in poverty, while others born in another country live a relatively lavish lifestyle.
Imagine for a moment…if the world was one country. Then imagine that the world president started allocating land to all the citizens. How would you feel if you were randomly given a piece of land which turned out to be a desert barren of life, while your next door neighbor ended up on top of a gold mine? Obviously you would think it was unfair, right?
Well then imagine if your rich neighbor started using their wealth and influence to make your life even more difficult by taking what little resources you had, and polluting your environment. That is exactly what happens today between developed and undeveloped countries.
It is a fact that rich nations would not be wealthy if there were not poor nations to support us. We could not possibly afford our products if it wasn't for people working in factories for less than a dollar a day, nor could we afford to feed ourselves if it wasn't for the billions of people farming in developing countries for less than three hundred dollars a year.
We would not be able to buy prawns if it wasn't for the tens of thousands of prawn farms in south east Asia and south America—as there is no way developed societies would allow this environmentally damaging practice to take place in our own backyard.
Examples like these are endless, but they show that the developed world's standard of living, for the most part, is supported by the demise of others.
It is not one person that created the divide between the developed world and the developing world, nor can one person fix the issues. Therefore, we as "global citizens" all have a social and moral obligation to help each other to enable a safe and healthy life for all.
Keep this in mind when you're ready to donate to a charity of your choice. After all, what does thirty bucks mean to you? A cheap sweater? Five Starbucks coffee? For the less fortunate, it means much more; it means a chance for health and education, hope for the future and a great reason to live.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/do-you-realize-that-you039re-living-someone-else039s-dream-1892610.html
About the Author
From her columns to her blog, Penny continues to capture the hearts of her readers with exhilarating insight and inspiring wisdom. Her blog offers tips, advice and inspiration on life and relationships. Let this site be a place you go to for some insight to inspire healthier, happier relationships in your life. Relationship Advice From Penny.com
Wednesday 13 February 2013
Great Relationship Problem Solving Technique
Author: Sonia Devine
This is one of my all time favourite problem solving techniques, and I use it on a regular basis with clients who find it hard to get along other people. If you're going around in circles with a relationship problem, it can really help to step back and break the problem down into groups. Here's how to do it:
First, think of a small problem you are having in your life right now. Don't try to tackle anything too big just yet, just get used to using this technique and then when you get more skilled at it you can try it with some larger problems. The idea is to separate your problem into three groups.
GROUP ONE: Parts of the Problem That Come From Other People
Write down all the parts of this particular problem that are brought to it by other people. Now, I know it's tempting to lump all of the parts into this group, because it's so easy to blame others for what is not working in our lives; but try to resist this temptation! And let's face it - other people are not responsible for EVERY part of your problem. So be honest with yourself.
GROUP TWO: The Facts about Your problem
In this group, you are going to write down the facts. For example, let's say your partner won't spend enough time with you and the family. In this group, one of the facts you could write would be "We need ___ to spend more time at home".
GROUP THREE: YOU
Now you are going to list all the parts of the problem that YOU bring to it. Many of the things you write down here will be related to your reaction to the situation. For instance, do you sulk or berate your partner when he/she chooses to spend time away from home? How does this contribute to your problem? What reaction do you get? Be sure to write down any of your own personal triggers from past circumstances or relationships which may be contributing to this problem.
OK: Time to Start Culling...
When you have created the three categories for your problem, pick up the list for Group #1. (Other People). Now, screw up this piece of paper and throw it in the bin. Why? Because....
.
*** You cannot change OTHER PEOPLE ***
But how great would it be if we could? We'd live blissfully in a world full of people who were just like us....or would we?? Now, I'm not saying that people will not change of their own accord. It just means that if they do change, it will be because they choose to, not because you tell them that they should. Don't waste your time and energy on those parts of the problem that you cannot control!
Okay, now do the same with the group 2 list; screw it up and throw it away! Because....
*** You cannot change the facts ***
So now, all that is left is the list you have made for group 3. Your problem has just gotten a whole lot smaller because you've thrown away 2 of the lists! Have a good look at this third list. Are there any things in the list you have made that you feel you truly cannot change? If so, remove these items from the list - you must only use your energy on the things you do have the ability to influence.
Now, looking at the remaining things on the list, are there any things that you do not want to change? This is really important! If you don't want to change something about yourself, then you will not; it's that simple! But keep this in mind; writing this list is all about taking personal responsibility for what is not working in your life. This technique will help you to focus on the parts of your problem that you CAN do something about. By now, you should have in your hot little hand a practical, do-able list that you can turn into an action plan. So the message is clear....
Find out what you can do about it and then take action!
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/great-relationship-problem-solving-technique-4014.html
About the Author
Sonia Devine is a qualified professional hypnotherapist and success coach with a caring and committed approach to healing, who lives in Melbourne, Australia. You can find more of her information on ego, self image, love, relationships, phobias and much more on her website http://www.manifest-your-success.com
This is one of my all time favourite problem solving techniques, and I use it on a regular basis with clients who find it hard to get along other people. If you're going around in circles with a relationship problem, it can really help to step back and break the problem down into groups. Here's how to do it:
First, think of a small problem you are having in your life right now. Don't try to tackle anything too big just yet, just get used to using this technique and then when you get more skilled at it you can try it with some larger problems. The idea is to separate your problem into three groups.
GROUP ONE: Parts of the Problem That Come From Other People
Write down all the parts of this particular problem that are brought to it by other people. Now, I know it's tempting to lump all of the parts into this group, because it's so easy to blame others for what is not working in our lives; but try to resist this temptation! And let's face it - other people are not responsible for EVERY part of your problem. So be honest with yourself.
GROUP TWO: The Facts about Your problem
In this group, you are going to write down the facts. For example, let's say your partner won't spend enough time with you and the family. In this group, one of the facts you could write would be "We need ___ to spend more time at home".
GROUP THREE: YOU
Now you are going to list all the parts of the problem that YOU bring to it. Many of the things you write down here will be related to your reaction to the situation. For instance, do you sulk or berate your partner when he/she chooses to spend time away from home? How does this contribute to your problem? What reaction do you get? Be sure to write down any of your own personal triggers from past circumstances or relationships which may be contributing to this problem.
OK: Time to Start Culling...
When you have created the three categories for your problem, pick up the list for Group #1. (Other People). Now, screw up this piece of paper and throw it in the bin. Why? Because....
.
*** You cannot change OTHER PEOPLE ***
But how great would it be if we could? We'd live blissfully in a world full of people who were just like us....or would we?? Now, I'm not saying that people will not change of their own accord. It just means that if they do change, it will be because they choose to, not because you tell them that they should. Don't waste your time and energy on those parts of the problem that you cannot control!
Okay, now do the same with the group 2 list; screw it up and throw it away! Because....
*** You cannot change the facts ***
So now, all that is left is the list you have made for group 3. Your problem has just gotten a whole lot smaller because you've thrown away 2 of the lists! Have a good look at this third list. Are there any things in the list you have made that you feel you truly cannot change? If so, remove these items from the list - you must only use your energy on the things you do have the ability to influence.
Now, looking at the remaining things on the list, are there any things that you do not want to change? This is really important! If you don't want to change something about yourself, then you will not; it's that simple! But keep this in mind; writing this list is all about taking personal responsibility for what is not working in your life. This technique will help you to focus on the parts of your problem that you CAN do something about. By now, you should have in your hot little hand a practical, do-able list that you can turn into an action plan. So the message is clear....
Find out what you can do about it and then take action!
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/great-relationship-problem-solving-technique-4014.html
About the Author
Sonia Devine is a qualified professional hypnotherapist and success coach with a caring and committed approach to healing, who lives in Melbourne, Australia. You can find more of her information on ego, self image, love, relationships, phobias and much more on her website http://www.manifest-your-success.com
Saturday 9 February 2013
Heart Centered Listening
By James Kyle
The young man rushed into the room slamming the door behind him. The frosted-glass window pane of the door shook from the force of the vented anger.
“Late again,” he ranted at himself “Damn. My half hour is almost up before we have even started. I am paying far too much for these sessions as it is.” His eyes locked on the clock on the consulting room wall directly opposite the door. The black hands on the white wall clock face indicated twelve minutes past two. It almost seemed he was trying to use his willpower to convince the timepiece that there had been some mistake here and that just for once he was on time. He continued staring at the clock as his rage continued.
“Why is my life so bloody stressful? I just seem to be running from one appointment to the next. My every minute controlled by organizers, alarms and clocks - all for the greater glory of a company that doesn’t give a damn. I am paid to work forty hours a week you know. There’s a joke. Paid for forty and know I would be out of a job if I didn’t work seventy. I hate that bloody company. How am I supposed to have a social life? No wonder I go home at night to an empty apartment. I’m bloody exhausted by the time I get there anyway. The only use I would have for a partner would be for somebody to make my bedtime drink before tucking me in at night. That and making sure I got out of bed each morning before the battery in my alarm clock ran out. I shave with my eyes shut you know. I am still sleeping even though I am standing there in front of the bathroom mirror. It’s incredible what I put myself through. Why do I have to live like this, working at a job I hate? OK, OK, so they pay me a lot of money - but is it worth it?”
The man stood in silence for a while. A temporary calm after the storm. He finally turned his gaze from the clock and directed his attention towards the seats against the wall to his right for the first time. This was evident as he looked with a start at the older woman sitting in one of the two seats at the far end of the office.
“What’s this? My usual guy on holiday or something? Well, what the hell, let’s see if you are any better that the other three before you.”
In stark contrast to the man’s agitation the woman sat quietly. Her face was composed in a calmness that took the sting out of the anger and bitterness in the man’s voice.
A little more subdued he continued, “Anyway I am John …” He stopped short, “Well you’ll know that from my records anyway. That and the fact that I have been coming here for six months and paying you guys a lot of money to sort out my life.” He paused as he walked across the room to sit in the chair opposite the woman. “Here I am then - sitting in the client’s chair waiting for you to empower me. Or whatever it is you’re supposed to do.”
The woman continued to sit calmly looking at the young man.
“Have I got the right buzzword? Emmmmpower yourself. Yep, it does buzz nicely. Where was I when they decided to hand out all this power? All I know is that I am the one at the bottom of the heap. Everyone else tells me what to do. I have a whole office full of people whose only job as far as I can see is to tell me what to do. I am the token Indian servicing a dozen chiefs. I do the work while they play office politics and have meetings to plan meetings where they will talk about the best way to hold meetings. It all seems so meaningless: life, work - same thing really - and it all seems so pointless.”
He paused lost in his own thoughts for some time. Eventually he looked over at the woman, “If you were me what would you do?”
The woman made no attempt to respond to the question.
“Oh I forgot. We do non directive therapy here. Of course! The client must take responsibility for his own life. Don’t you think it is ironic that I agree to pay you lots of money not to give me advice. Do I get a discount if you ever give me some advice by mistake?”
This brought a fleeting smile to the man’s face. The woman responded to this change of demeanor by smiling in turn. Her bright face underlined the subtle change of mood.
“OK, OK, I know it helps to see the funny side of life now and again. But it can be so difficult at times … Damn, there I go again, playing the victim. Right, I know, I can see it in your face. Why don’t I take responsibility? Isn’t that what I am supposed to do? So OK, it’s true I choose to go to work. Why? To make money to pay the bills. So where does that get us? I choose to work because I need to bring in money to pay the bills.” He paused to look at the woman’s reaction before continuing. “I see you are not impressed by my reasoning so far. You have bullshit written all over your face. And it’s true - I don’t need the money, I have plenty of money in savings. So why do I drag myself to that bloody office every day?”
The woman held her gaze on the young man’s eyes. He paused for a few moments then, seemingly gathering strength from her steadiness, he continued, “I just realized. I just do it because I am supposed to. Nobody ever told me that I could choose not to. I put myself through that hell every day just because I have internalized some stupid rule that people should hold down a steady job. Damn. It’s that simple. I really can give myself permission to choose to ignore rules that don’t serve me.”
He smiled across at the woman, “You lot finally got through to me. I am even starting to talk like you.”
The woman once more returned his smile then, for the first time since he had sat down, looked away from the young man’s face to look across to the clock on the wall. Her stare drew his attention to the clock face as the minute hand clicked downwards indicating 2.30 pm.
“Ah yes, time up,” he said rising from his chair. “I want to thank you so much. I got more out of this one session, than all of the previous six months’ put together.” The young man then reached over and put out his hand. The woman’s eyes smiled warmly as she shook his hand firmly.
The man stood up and crossed the room towards the door. The woman had a bemused look on her face as she observed him open the door then close it behind him. Through the frosted glass of the door she could see a second person come towards the door at the same time. The newcomer paused before opening the door himself; seemingly exchanging a few words with the man just leaving.
As he entered the room he looked very quizzically at the woman still sitting in her chair. “What was that all about?” he said, rhetorically at first, then he signed the same question to the woman. The woman signed back - I’m not sure. I arrived early for my appointment with you and I was just sitting here waiting for you when the guy that just left came bursting into the room. At first I was confused and a bit frightened … you know I can’t lip read at all well and I really didn’t know what was going on … but as he calmed down I realized that he was the one that was frightened and he just needed someone to be there for him … so I just sat here with him as he talked. The woman paused a moment before continuing. Did he say something to you as he was leaving?
Oh yes - it seems I have some competition. According to him you are the best counselor in the clinic. The man smiled as he continued signing, he said you really knew how to listen.
The young man rushed into the room slamming the door behind him. The frosted-glass window pane of the door shook from the force of the vented anger.
“Late again,” he ranted at himself “Damn. My half hour is almost up before we have even started. I am paying far too much for these sessions as it is.” His eyes locked on the clock on the consulting room wall directly opposite the door. The black hands on the white wall clock face indicated twelve minutes past two. It almost seemed he was trying to use his willpower to convince the timepiece that there had been some mistake here and that just for once he was on time. He continued staring at the clock as his rage continued.
“Why is my life so bloody stressful? I just seem to be running from one appointment to the next. My every minute controlled by organizers, alarms and clocks - all for the greater glory of a company that doesn’t give a damn. I am paid to work forty hours a week you know. There’s a joke. Paid for forty and know I would be out of a job if I didn’t work seventy. I hate that bloody company. How am I supposed to have a social life? No wonder I go home at night to an empty apartment. I’m bloody exhausted by the time I get there anyway. The only use I would have for a partner would be for somebody to make my bedtime drink before tucking me in at night. That and making sure I got out of bed each morning before the battery in my alarm clock ran out. I shave with my eyes shut you know. I am still sleeping even though I am standing there in front of the bathroom mirror. It’s incredible what I put myself through. Why do I have to live like this, working at a job I hate? OK, OK, so they pay me a lot of money - but is it worth it?”
The man stood in silence for a while. A temporary calm after the storm. He finally turned his gaze from the clock and directed his attention towards the seats against the wall to his right for the first time. This was evident as he looked with a start at the older woman sitting in one of the two seats at the far end of the office.
“What’s this? My usual guy on holiday or something? Well, what the hell, let’s see if you are any better that the other three before you.”
In stark contrast to the man’s agitation the woman sat quietly. Her face was composed in a calmness that took the sting out of the anger and bitterness in the man’s voice.
A little more subdued he continued, “Anyway I am John …” He stopped short, “Well you’ll know that from my records anyway. That and the fact that I have been coming here for six months and paying you guys a lot of money to sort out my life.” He paused as he walked across the room to sit in the chair opposite the woman. “Here I am then - sitting in the client’s chair waiting for you to empower me. Or whatever it is you’re supposed to do.”
The woman continued to sit calmly looking at the young man.
“Have I got the right buzzword? Emmmmpower yourself. Yep, it does buzz nicely. Where was I when they decided to hand out all this power? All I know is that I am the one at the bottom of the heap. Everyone else tells me what to do. I have a whole office full of people whose only job as far as I can see is to tell me what to do. I am the token Indian servicing a dozen chiefs. I do the work while they play office politics and have meetings to plan meetings where they will talk about the best way to hold meetings. It all seems so meaningless: life, work - same thing really - and it all seems so pointless.”
He paused lost in his own thoughts for some time. Eventually he looked over at the woman, “If you were me what would you do?”
The woman made no attempt to respond to the question.
“Oh I forgot. We do non directive therapy here. Of course! The client must take responsibility for his own life. Don’t you think it is ironic that I agree to pay you lots of money not to give me advice. Do I get a discount if you ever give me some advice by mistake?”
This brought a fleeting smile to the man’s face. The woman responded to this change of demeanor by smiling in turn. Her bright face underlined the subtle change of mood.
“OK, OK, I know it helps to see the funny side of life now and again. But it can be so difficult at times … Damn, there I go again, playing the victim. Right, I know, I can see it in your face. Why don’t I take responsibility? Isn’t that what I am supposed to do? So OK, it’s true I choose to go to work. Why? To make money to pay the bills. So where does that get us? I choose to work because I need to bring in money to pay the bills.” He paused to look at the woman’s reaction before continuing. “I see you are not impressed by my reasoning so far. You have bullshit written all over your face. And it’s true - I don’t need the money, I have plenty of money in savings. So why do I drag myself to that bloody office every day?”
The woman held her gaze on the young man’s eyes. He paused for a few moments then, seemingly gathering strength from her steadiness, he continued, “I just realized. I just do it because I am supposed to. Nobody ever told me that I could choose not to. I put myself through that hell every day just because I have internalized some stupid rule that people should hold down a steady job. Damn. It’s that simple. I really can give myself permission to choose to ignore rules that don’t serve me.”
He smiled across at the woman, “You lot finally got through to me. I am even starting to talk like you.”
The woman once more returned his smile then, for the first time since he had sat down, looked away from the young man’s face to look across to the clock on the wall. Her stare drew his attention to the clock face as the minute hand clicked downwards indicating 2.30 pm.
“Ah yes, time up,” he said rising from his chair. “I want to thank you so much. I got more out of this one session, than all of the previous six months’ put together.” The young man then reached over and put out his hand. The woman’s eyes smiled warmly as she shook his hand firmly.
The man stood up and crossed the room towards the door. The woman had a bemused look on her face as she observed him open the door then close it behind him. Through the frosted glass of the door she could see a second person come towards the door at the same time. The newcomer paused before opening the door himself; seemingly exchanging a few words with the man just leaving.
As he entered the room he looked very quizzically at the woman still sitting in her chair. “What was that all about?” he said, rhetorically at first, then he signed the same question to the woman. The woman signed back - I’m not sure. I arrived early for my appointment with you and I was just sitting here waiting for you when the guy that just left came bursting into the room. At first I was confused and a bit frightened … you know I can’t lip read at all well and I really didn’t know what was going on … but as he calmed down I realized that he was the one that was frightened and he just needed someone to be there for him … so I just sat here with him as he talked. The woman paused a moment before continuing. Did he say something to you as he was leaving?
Oh yes - it seems I have some competition. According to him you are the best counselor in the clinic. The man smiled as he continued signing, he said you really knew how to listen.
Tuesday 5 February 2013
Mirror of Self Reflection
Age creeps up on us all slowly stripping away our youth then one day we look into the mirror and the body does not seem to match the sparkle in the eyes anymore. Then we begin to look over our shoulder at our past and think I wonder what would have happened or what if I had taken this path?
The concept of there only being one life and a limited amount of time to live it is to most people like someone saying there is no Santa Claus. We simply want to believe in forever just like we wanted to believe in happily ever after as children.
You may think I am advocating quitting your job and going trekking in Africa but no that is not where this is going. Living is an art in itself it is not about time management or fit as much in as I can. It is about passion, depth, vision, love and much more.
I wish I could remember the taste of a meal long after I have eaten it, I wish I could see my partners face long after they have left, I wish I could feel my friends hug as she embraced me long after she had let go, I wish I could picture the one time my Mother said I love you long after she is gone, I wish I was so in tune with life, so aware, so enlightened that every moment was my greatest and I could feel it, taste it, and truly live it.
I do not want to wait until someone tells me there are no more moments left I do not want to feel cheated because a Higher Power took my moments away. I want to be grateful a Higher Power gave me the moment to begin with.
As youth slips away and it will slowly I want to be able to look in the mirror and see the happiness of a life lived with depth and passion etched in my face. I want to be able to feel the touch of my lovers hand as it brushed away my tears not just remember it. But unless I am truly aware truly in the moment at the time allowing myself to feel, letting go of expectations, letting go of the need to hold something back, unless that happens all I will have is a vague memory. I want more I want an imprint so strong I can carry it with me and feel it when the moments are at an end.
My wish for you is that you may look in the mirror of self reflection long before youth has disappeared. I hope you will realize life doesn't need to be filled up with things rather it needs to be soaked up for all it has to offer right now at this very moment. My wish for you is that you may experienced even for a second a state of total being when everything falls away and time stands still and you can taste the air you breath, feel the earth pulsate beneath your feet and hear the whisper of the Angels.
Author Bio
Australian Psychic/Artist/Writer living in Canada. I do reading by donation at my site angelpsychicblessings.com.
Article Source: http://www.ArticleGeek.com - Free Website Content
The concept of there only being one life and a limited amount of time to live it is to most people like someone saying there is no Santa Claus. We simply want to believe in forever just like we wanted to believe in happily ever after as children.
You may think I am advocating quitting your job and going trekking in Africa but no that is not where this is going. Living is an art in itself it is not about time management or fit as much in as I can. It is about passion, depth, vision, love and much more.
I wish I could remember the taste of a meal long after I have eaten it, I wish I could see my partners face long after they have left, I wish I could feel my friends hug as she embraced me long after she had let go, I wish I could picture the one time my Mother said I love you long after she is gone, I wish I was so in tune with life, so aware, so enlightened that every moment was my greatest and I could feel it, taste it, and truly live it.
I do not want to wait until someone tells me there are no more moments left I do not want to feel cheated because a Higher Power took my moments away. I want to be grateful a Higher Power gave me the moment to begin with.
As youth slips away and it will slowly I want to be able to look in the mirror and see the happiness of a life lived with depth and passion etched in my face. I want to be able to feel the touch of my lovers hand as it brushed away my tears not just remember it. But unless I am truly aware truly in the moment at the time allowing myself to feel, letting go of expectations, letting go of the need to hold something back, unless that happens all I will have is a vague memory. I want more I want an imprint so strong I can carry it with me and feel it when the moments are at an end.
My wish for you is that you may look in the mirror of self reflection long before youth has disappeared. I hope you will realize life doesn't need to be filled up with things rather it needs to be soaked up for all it has to offer right now at this very moment. My wish for you is that you may experienced even for a second a state of total being when everything falls away and time stands still and you can taste the air you breath, feel the earth pulsate beneath your feet and hear the whisper of the Angels.
Send this page to:
Author Bio
Australian Psychic/Artist/Writer living in Canada. I do reading by donation at my site angelpsychicblessings.com.
Article Source: http://www.ArticleGeek.com - Free Website Content
Saturday 2 February 2013
The Puzzles of Life – Can they give us a push towards inner serenity?
Author: TC Gopalakrishnan
Human beings are caught in the habit of thought-running as they face problems in living. This externalizes the awareness; so much so, they lose contact with their inner being. As a result, complications arise in their lives and they are unable to face life's challenges squarely. A healthy avenue to step out of this scenario is available through paying attention to the puzzles of life. If people are not wedded to some belief system, they have the opportunity to apply themselves to the puzzles with the freedom to discover what lies beyond the apparent. Such an approach augments the non-verbal understanding of the undercurrents of life. Thus, one does not fall a prey to the inclination "One believes what one wants to believe." It is like the approach of a scientist – eager to find the truth rather than look for evidence to prove one's belief. However, the difference here is that while the scientist has to rely on the verbal knowledge, the soul searcher (SS) banks on direct awareness assisted by intuition. No doubt, the scientist too uses the intuition but he or she has to fit everything to the bricks already laid while the SS can fly free towards the truth.
The closer the SS is to his inner being, the deeper the serenity. It is a progressive evolution. Thus, the serenity is not a matter of completing the journey but being on it and sensing the serenity with increasing intensity. This does not decrease his interest in worldly matters because the puzzles he faces are, indeed, intertwined with his mental disposition and his worldly interactions. Hence, it is a harmonious blending of both spiritual and mundane movements that leads to vibrant living. Primarily, it deepens the spiritual awareness by bringing the SS ever closer to his inner being.
So, let us consider some of the puzzles that can help us take the inward journey. They can arise as pensive questions from one's life situations, from watching a movie or reading a story and the like. The SS applies himself or herself to the puzzle and let the deeper intelligence reveal the hidden truths. There are many issues in our lives that can give us a push in that direction. They serve as guide-posts and keep us focused on the intriguing puzzle of the inward journey. Some of these arise as questions in the following manner:
1. Why is it that, even after practicing a religious system for years, freedom from fear, attachment and hatred does not take place? The practice only puts a lid on them and makes it appear as if they are gone.
2. Why are the ‘non-believers' too – the atheists and agnostics – who put themselves against the ‘believers', do not find that freedom?
3. Can the philosophical content of mortality serve as an affectionate guide into the unknown?
4. What roles do joviality and cheerfulness play in the inward journey towards self-discovery?
5. Is the beckoning of sorrow in life an invitation to visit the hidden corners of ourselves?
6. Unknowingly, we build a psychological wall around us through thoughts of ‘I', ‘me' and the ‘mine'. Are there pointers in our daily life that can alert us to that fact and, perhaps, open a door in that wall?
In Chinese philosophy, Tao is considered the Ultimate Truth or Divinity and Taoism contains the associated philosophic tenets. Their book ‘Tao Te Ching' deals with Taoism. There is a poem in it that has puzzling questions for the reader to reflect on, somewhat along the lines of the puzzles above. Some of them are given below:
1. Can you go beyond the habitual mind, hold to the One and never depart from it?
2. Can you bring down your breath to a mellow state, the breath of a baby?
3. Can you purify your esoteric vision and wipe it until it is spotless?
4. Can you be like the female and allow passivity to govern the response to life?
5. Can you love all beings on Earth and govern them without being known?
6. Can you be aware of the four corners of the Earth and not interfere with them?
Similar issues are discussed in this website on spirituality. It would be good to apply ourselves to such puzzles as above and lead a life of intensity that is intrinsically spiritual rather than practice a discipline to reach a predetermined, ego-satisfying end.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/psychology-articles/the-puzzles-of-life-can-they-give-us-a-push-towards-inner-serenity-6040552.html
About the Author
The Author: T.C. Gopalakrishnan was born in Madras (now Chennai), India, in 1941. He received his doctoral degree in Coastal Engineering from the North Carolina State University, Raleigh, NC, USA in 1978. He served on the research and teaching faculty of the Indian Institute of Technology, Madras, India, the North Carolina State University and the Kuwait Institute for Scientific Research, Kuwait. Aside from his professional involvements, he was interested in the philosophic issues of life for the last forty years or so. This led him to the messages of Ramana Maharishi, Lao Tzu, J Krishnamurthy, UG Krishnamurthy, Nisargadatta Maharaj, Eckhart Tolle, Marcus Aurelius and similar Masters. His book entitled "In Quest of the Deeper Self" is the outcome of his reflections on those and his wish to share the outcome with others.
Gopalakrishnan is a member of the International Association for Near Death Studies, Durham, NC, USA. He presented a paper at the 2011 conference of the Association on the theme "The spiritual content of near death experiences". Functions as a freelance counselor for peaceful living. Lives in Kodaikanal, a hill town in south India, with his family. Now he and his wife are both retired and currently involved in developing a fruit farm at a village 20 km from their residence.
Blog: http://nde-thedeeperself.blogspot.com Email: gopal.tc@gmail.com
Human beings are caught in the habit of thought-running as they face problems in living. This externalizes the awareness; so much so, they lose contact with their inner being. As a result, complications arise in their lives and they are unable to face life's challenges squarely. A healthy avenue to step out of this scenario is available through paying attention to the puzzles of life. If people are not wedded to some belief system, they have the opportunity to apply themselves to the puzzles with the freedom to discover what lies beyond the apparent. Such an approach augments the non-verbal understanding of the undercurrents of life. Thus, one does not fall a prey to the inclination "One believes what one wants to believe." It is like the approach of a scientist – eager to find the truth rather than look for evidence to prove one's belief. However, the difference here is that while the scientist has to rely on the verbal knowledge, the soul searcher (SS) banks on direct awareness assisted by intuition. No doubt, the scientist too uses the intuition but he or she has to fit everything to the bricks already laid while the SS can fly free towards the truth.
The closer the SS is to his inner being, the deeper the serenity. It is a progressive evolution. Thus, the serenity is not a matter of completing the journey but being on it and sensing the serenity with increasing intensity. This does not decrease his interest in worldly matters because the puzzles he faces are, indeed, intertwined with his mental disposition and his worldly interactions. Hence, it is a harmonious blending of both spiritual and mundane movements that leads to vibrant living. Primarily, it deepens the spiritual awareness by bringing the SS ever closer to his inner being.
So, let us consider some of the puzzles that can help us take the inward journey. They can arise as pensive questions from one's life situations, from watching a movie or reading a story and the like. The SS applies himself or herself to the puzzle and let the deeper intelligence reveal the hidden truths. There are many issues in our lives that can give us a push in that direction. They serve as guide-posts and keep us focused on the intriguing puzzle of the inward journey. Some of these arise as questions in the following manner:
1. Why is it that, even after practicing a religious system for years, freedom from fear, attachment and hatred does not take place? The practice only puts a lid on them and makes it appear as if they are gone.
2. Why are the ‘non-believers' too – the atheists and agnostics – who put themselves against the ‘believers', do not find that freedom?
3. Can the philosophical content of mortality serve as an affectionate guide into the unknown?
4. What roles do joviality and cheerfulness play in the inward journey towards self-discovery?
5. Is the beckoning of sorrow in life an invitation to visit the hidden corners of ourselves?
6. Unknowingly, we build a psychological wall around us through thoughts of ‘I', ‘me' and the ‘mine'. Are there pointers in our daily life that can alert us to that fact and, perhaps, open a door in that wall?
In Chinese philosophy, Tao is considered the Ultimate Truth or Divinity and Taoism contains the associated philosophic tenets. Their book ‘Tao Te Ching' deals with Taoism. There is a poem in it that has puzzling questions for the reader to reflect on, somewhat along the lines of the puzzles above. Some of them are given below:
1. Can you go beyond the habitual mind, hold to the One and never depart from it?
2. Can you bring down your breath to a mellow state, the breath of a baby?
3. Can you purify your esoteric vision and wipe it until it is spotless?
4. Can you be like the female and allow passivity to govern the response to life?
5. Can you love all beings on Earth and govern them without being known?
6. Can you be aware of the four corners of the Earth and not interfere with them?
Similar issues are discussed in this website on spirituality. It would be good to apply ourselves to such puzzles as above and lead a life of intensity that is intrinsically spiritual rather than practice a discipline to reach a predetermined, ego-satisfying end.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/psychology-articles/the-puzzles-of-life-can-they-give-us-a-push-towards-inner-serenity-6040552.html
About the Author
The Author: T.C. Gopalakrishnan was born in Madras (now Chennai), India, in 1941. He received his doctoral degree in Coastal Engineering from the North Carolina State University, Raleigh, NC, USA in 1978. He served on the research and teaching faculty of the Indian Institute of Technology, Madras, India, the North Carolina State University and the Kuwait Institute for Scientific Research, Kuwait. Aside from his professional involvements, he was interested in the philosophic issues of life for the last forty years or so. This led him to the messages of Ramana Maharishi, Lao Tzu, J Krishnamurthy, UG Krishnamurthy, Nisargadatta Maharaj, Eckhart Tolle, Marcus Aurelius and similar Masters. His book entitled "In Quest of the Deeper Self" is the outcome of his reflections on those and his wish to share the outcome with others.
Gopalakrishnan is a member of the International Association for Near Death Studies, Durham, NC, USA. He presented a paper at the 2011 conference of the Association on the theme "The spiritual content of near death experiences". Functions as a freelance counselor for peaceful living. Lives in Kodaikanal, a hill town in south India, with his family. Now he and his wife are both retired and currently involved in developing a fruit farm at a village 20 km from their residence.
Blog: http://nde-thedeeperself.blogspot.com Email: gopal.tc@gmail.com
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