Thursday, 17 April 2014

7 Steps to Overcoming Hurtful Situations

By Clint Beley

When you become constantly exposed to certain emotional, mental or physical trauma, your body tends to respond in a way that protects itself from further experiencing the ordeal. It shuns away from any possible contact that can open itself to the probability of experiencing the distress once again. The mind is a powerful thing, it governs the activities in our body - even ones that we are not aware of; such as emotional detachment.

Understanding Emotional Detachment: Why You Need It

Nobody chooses to be emotionally detached from anything or anyone, not unless it would mean freeing themselves from more pain and hurt. Sometimes, you just really need to save yourself from that which pains and traumatizes you, and sometimes you just simply need to learn how to be emotionally detached.

Here are 7 Steps to Be Emotionally Detached

1. Teach your body to relax.

While some activities your body does are involuntary, some are not. When you become stressed out because of certain factors, your bodily functions are similarly affected; your muscles become tense, your blood pressure rises and so does your heart rate. There is however a way to avoid or at least keep the increasing vitals to a minimum.. In attempting to be emotionally detached, you wouldn't want to make the decision while your bodily functions are crazily racing, therefore, the first step is to teach your body to relax and take deep breaths

2. Control what runs across your mind.

Do not allow any disturbing thought or experience  traumatize you. Block out any image or voice that rekindles the strain. While this is a lot easier said than done, it is not impossible to do. You need to learn how to transform a negative picture into a positive one as this can control your attitude and behavior towards things. So instead of obsessing about the distressful event or person, train your mind to divert the thought and think about other stuff such as the beautiful places you yourself have been to or want to go to, or even count imaginary sheep before going to bed - think about anything that can take your mind away from the stressful mind-set.

3. Be physically active.

The more you become a couch potato or a hermit in your room the more you are giving a chance for the negative feelings and thoughts to visit you. Doing physical activities will help you get your mind off things that are disturbing you; furthermore, you get to save yourself from possibly revisiting distracting thoughts, events and feelings. So get up and move those muscles, think about the good paybacks you can get from working off those muscles.

4. Do not be afraid to cry and feel the pain.

Denying that you have a cross to bear would only aggravate the situation to the nth power. When you learn to accept the sad fact that you are hurt, lonely and traumatized, you give a way out for yourself. It is healthy to allow yourself to feel the pain as this can be a key to revive you and get you back from the state of being emotionally detached to not. However, while you allow yourself to swim in the sea of pain and loneliness refuse to get drowned; feel the hurt and cry, but force yourself to get back up.

5. Keep a journal or diary.

Often times, it could be difficult to open up to someone, even to your closest friends and loved ones, so you keep the feelings all to yourself; this is not healthy and all these feelings can pile and eat you up. Write them down. This can help you ventilate your thoughts and feel a little better. There is a magic to keeping a journal of your thoughts.With time you get to appreciate how far you have grown and become stronger just by going through your journal.

6. Find things that you enjoy doing alone.

Being emotionally detached could be difficult in that you need to do things on your own. To keep things better, list the things that you enjoy doing alone and try to pursue them one by one. Trekking? Surfing? Shopping? Make a bucket list and get busy getting it done. Doing the things you love especially out-door activities free your mind of the build up stress and gives you the needed strength to face the negative situation you are faced with.

7. Practice makes perfect.

If you think you are still unable to detach yourself emotionally from the things that hurt you, try and try again until you succeed. Eventually, your mind will learn to let go of things that are not good and store those that are helpful to you. One good way to free your mind and detached from negative situation is through meditation.

About the Author: A personal development coach and peak performance instructor. Write at Emotional Detachment http://www.emotional-detachment.com/bad-to-good-8-steps-to-overcoming-bad-situations/

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Tuesday, 15 April 2014

Easy Ways to a Better Life

By Guy Swinburne

We all want a better life! The road towards self-enlightenment is never an easy one. It is filled with many crossroads that you must be strong enough to navigate. With a few pointers on how to avoid these deviations you can be well on your way to a better you.

Change is the one thing that is constant in our lives and it is often the one thing that we have the most problems dealing with. In life some people are just stronger than others both psychologically and emotionally. And yet these same people who some might look at as flawed can overcome their perceived weakness to be leaders and innovators in their own right and make their own headway towards a better life.

It is human nature to want a better life and while there are those who would like us to believe that there is nothing that we can do to change the way our lives are this writer begs to differ. If an individual decides that he or she is going to do whatever they can to improve their quality of life then there is no force on earth that can stop this belief from actually becoming a better life.

The fact of the matter is that some people need guidelines by which to live their lives and plan their futures. And in the case of those people who want to change their lives for the better then here are a few guidelines that anyone can follow.

Easy Ways to a Better Life

1. Take a good Realistic look at yourself. Be objective and identify your own faults (self-introspection is a key step in this process- it shows that you the individual are not afraid to highlight your own faults). Once you have identified these faults you can either write down or visualize in your mind various ways in which to make yourself better and choose the best one for you.

2. Do not ever make a change in your character/person just because someone else says that you should. Draw strength from whatever creator you identify with that the creator made you special and though you may have your faults (we all do) you are still worthy to be yourself.

3. Learn to draw strength from those who are strong around you. Stay away from the people in your life that are so bitter in their lives that they bleed that bitterness out to others and poison your self-image. Know that you are a fighter and that you are strong enough to persevere through any adversity.

4. Don’t be afraid to take some risks. Yes it is understood that in some cases this new activity might go against whom you are on a normal basis but becoming a stronger person and achieving a better life style is all about taking risks that you might not normally take and about making these risks work for you. How can you expect to achieve anything in life if you aren’t willing to make a leap of faith and go after what you want in life? The answer to that one is simple. You can’t andrisk therein lies the conundrum. You try and fail but don’t ever fail to try.

I could go on with more tips for you to follow but part of this new journey that you are about to go on is discovery. Discover what works for you and go with it. You’ll be all the better for it!

That better life you’re after, is in you’re own hands!



About the Author: Guy Swinburne lives in Newcastle upon Tyne in England. He is married to Lois and has two boys, Max 7 and Ben 6, and a little girl Poppy who was born in April 2012. http://www.empowernetwork.com/guyswinburne/blog/author/guyswinburne/?id=guyswinburne

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Saturday, 12 April 2014

Forgiveness is Such Sweet Sorrow

By Hu H Dalconzo

Hurt comes in many forms. Some instances come at us like an arrow from the bow; we see it coming but cannot avoid the hit fast enough. Other forms of hurtfulness build up little by little. Each day another slight, another insult, another rejection. Sometimes we don't even know we are collecting hurt feelings until we begin to unravel and our behaviour changes in varied ways. Perhaps we become depressed, angry, oversensitive or even abusive to those around us. Sometimes we are so deeply entrenched in ourselves that forgiveness seems like the silliest solution to our problems. But in the end we learn forgiveness is the sweet sorrow of release. The comfortable burdens of anger are sometimes with us for so long we find their company comfortable and familiar. When we finally let them go, the relief is profoundly satisfying yet slightly frightening.

In concrete terms, forgiveness is the decision to let go of feelings of resentment towards the person(s) who inflicted the pain. Thoughts of revenge are allowed to fade away. To be clear, forgiveness does not mean relieving the other person's responsibility in their actions against you. It doesn't mean their act was any less important or hurtful. Forgiveness is simply moving on to peace and positive thinking. It is possible to forgive without excusing the act. What is the difference? Excusing a wrongful act means you allow the act, and are even ok with it happening again. Forgiveness is letting the anger go.

Sometimes in that moment of forgiveness there is a deep feeling of release. Particularly if we have held on to the rage and resentment for a long period of time, the instance of forgiveness can seem like an overwhelming relief. Our body will feel less stress, lowered blood pressure, less anxious, have more energy and reduced anger. Through letting go of those burdens we will find it easier to accept spiritual guidance. Depression and sadness will begin to fade as well.

So why is it so easy to get angry and stay angry? Why do we hold grudges? Reaction to a hurtful event is natural. In fact not reacting is unnatural and shows signs of repressed feelings. The difference between a reaction and holding a grudge is in the allowance of negative feelings to overtake the positive feelings. If you are always negative, the people around you will feel bad and angry. Then a vicious cycle has begun. There is an old Buddhist proverb about anger: "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."

To decide to forgive is to decide to commit to a process of change. To forgive a wrong is to move away from living life as a victim and take back control of your life. By not letting the anger to continue controlling your thoughts, feelings, and actions, you are redefining your life. A new perspective will be gained, one that includes empathy, understanding, patience and love. Do not dwell on the time spent in the anger, focus on the life ahead.

Poet Robert Browning, husband to Elizabeth Barrett Browning, said "Good, to forgive; Best to forget." Sometimes, in this modern day of progressive thinking, we assume forgive and forget go hand in hand. One must forget to forgive and vice versa. The power of forgiveness is in letting the anger go, bringing peace and happiness to your life. No one can instantly forget an event that was hurtful, and nor should they. That instance of pain and all the repercussions of it are learning experiences. As forgiveness evolves, the moment in question will fade away but it will not be forgotten. Anger will dissolve, resentment will wane and healing will progress.

To forgive a person for their wrongs does not mean they are obligated, or even able to change their hurtful ways. One hopes change will come, but the purpose of forgiveness is wholly for oneself. We cannot change another person, just as we could not decide to forgive until we were ready. Extend the olive branch, but do not expect it to be taken.


About the Author: HLC offers certification courses for life coach training and spiritual counseling. http://www.holisticlearningcenter.com HLCs curriculums have been developed upon 10-years of clinically-tested research that have been proven to work on thousands of people.

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Thursday, 10 April 2014

Guide to a Successful Meditation Practice

By Sandra Markcrow

Meditation is scientifically proven to help improve

• Health

• Reduce Stress Levels

• Concentration

• Better Sleep Patterns

• Relaxation Levels

• Creative Potential

• Spirituality

• Overall Wellbeing

It is highly recommended by Doctors and Scientists to incorporate meditation into your daily living schedule.

Begin your meditation practice by sitting or lying in a comfortable position. Take 3 long deep inhalations, exhaling slowly. Notice any tension in your body and focus on its location. Continue to breath long and deep, imaging that you a breathing into the tense area of your body and as you exhale, you can feel the tension easing. This method will allow you to relax your body. Then continue to focus on your breathing. Follow the inhalations and exhalations with your mind continuing to inhale and exhale slowly and deeply with each cycle. This is an easy method to use to prepare you each time for your meditation session.

When meditating, the discipline you wish to achieve is to maintain your focus or awareness on one single thought. By doing this you can achieve a state of Alpha brainwave frequency. This is a state of relaxation and reflective contemplation.

Beginners of meditation practice will observe their mind wandering from one thought to the next. The training of the mind begins by the practitioner continuing to pull the minds focus back to the original thought. With practice this state of Alpha relaxation will become easier.

Keeping a diary of your daily meditation practice helps you to monitor your progress and also aids in improving the quality of each session. You will be able to look back and see how much you have learnt. This is a great motivational tool to use.

Focusing on one thought allows you to learn how to quiet the mind. It takes lots of practice to achieve this. At first your mind will be full of distracting self talk. But with practice you will be able to significantly reduce this mind chatter and eventually you will be able to focus on a single thought.

Like all disciplines, meditation requires dedication and daily practice. To achieve results you need to make time each day to meditate. Begin by meditating for 15 minutes per day and then progress to up to 30 minutes. You will learn very quickly how to silence the mind chatter and be able to stay focused.

When meditating it is ideal to ensure that you will not be disturbed. Choose a room in the house that will allow you to isolate yourself from unwanted distractions. Or even outside in the garden is a pleasant meditation environment. Inform others that you do not want to be disturbed and turn phones off.

As the brain controls all of the bodies functions and plays a major role in our overall wellbeing. Meditation is a healthy exercise for this most important of all bodily structures. You will notice a remarkable improvement in you emotional health after one week of practice.

This is one example of a meditation practice. There are many more examples which I discuss on my blog.



Please visit http://astralflyer-meditationforbeginners.blogspot.com/ for further information and aids to better meditation practice. Feel free to leave your comments.

About the Author: I have been meditating for 20 years and have learnt many techniques for achieving the greatest success in your meditation journey.If you would like to learn more about Meditation techniques, aids to meditation and share in my knowledge and experience. Please visit my blog at http://astralflyer-meditationforbeginners.blogspot.com/ or http://astralflyer-meditationtechniques.blogspot.com/

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