Saturday 27 December 2014
Invest in Your Network
More than ever, your network is the most valuable asset you have. So then why has “networking” become a dirty word? Why do we envision sleazy conference goers or slick salesmen when we think of networking?
In this 99U talk, hacker and author Joshua Klein shares how technology and growing “black markets” are optimizing our world for relationships. But building authentic relationships takes work. As a result, we need to be generous with our talents and time and invest in those around us (and then they’ll invest in us). Think of your customers as actual people and think of your product in the term of the relationship it creates. Because it will be your customers that become your next investor, your next employee, and your next opportunity. Humanize your work and the “networking” will follow. !
Saturday 20 December 2014
The Negative Path to Happiness and Success
"Get motivated!" and "stay positive!" are common bits of self-help advice. But have we gone too far in our penchant for positivity? Leaning on research (including a story about Mount Everest climbers), reporter and author Oliver Burkeman shares the counterintuitive insight of how abandoning goals and allowing some negativity in can actually be helpful. "Theres a real benefit to find ways to loosen our grip as goal driven people. When you look at successful entrepreneurs...you find they don't follow this stereotype." We should instead remain ready to adapt where we are heading and embrace uncertainty. !
Saturday 13 December 2014
The Willpower Instinct
Neuroscientists talk about how we have one brain but two minds. We have a mind that acts on impulse and seeks immediate gratification, and we have another mind that controls our impulses and delays gratification to fulfill our long-term goals. We face willpower challenges when the two minds have competing goals. Learn what influences us to procrastinate or why we fail to resist temptation, and learn about small interventions that can have large, positive outcomes.
And as a bonus, this video is going to give you a bit of a test in this area of your life - as the video is 54 minues long!
Saturday 6 December 2014
The key to success?
Leaving a high-flying job in consulting, Angela Lee Duckworth took a job teaching math to seventh graders in a New York public school. She quickly realized that IQ wasn’t the only thing separating the successful students from those who struggled. Here, she explains her theory of “grit” as a predictor of success.
Saturday 29 November 2014
Progress is not a zero-sum game
Author Robert Wright explains "non-zero-sumness" — the network of linked fortunes and cooperation that has guided our evolution to this point — and how we can use it to help save humanity today.
Saturday 22 November 2014
Should You Live for Your Résumé?
Within each of us are two selves, suggests David Brooks in this meditative short talk: the self who craves success, who builds a résumé, and the self who seeks connection, community, love — the values that make for a great eulogy. Brooks asks: Can we balance these two selves?
Sunday 16 November 2014
Be an opportunity maker
Open up your world by helping other people use their own talents and passions.
Sunday 9 November 2014
Saturday 1 November 2014
Sunday 26 October 2014
Saturday 18 October 2014
Saturday 4 October 2014
Saturday 27 September 2014
Randy Pausch Last Lecture: Achieving Your Childhood Dreams
Simply inspiring.
This is the full "last lecture." Watch the first 5 minutes and you may be tempted to watch more. Alternatively skip forward and watch the last 6 minutes.
Saturday 20 September 2014
Self Improvement? No Need!
You don't need self improvement. You're perfect all ready - you just need to realize it. Some aficionados of personal development might call the process 'self-realization' - a big word (two actually) for something that is within every single person's reach. There's little pointing in clouding what comes naturally in some fog of mystique - little point in complicating the simply. Every sinlge one of us can achieve awareness and self fulfilment if we learn how to simply stop the incessant noise in our head. I think you know the noise that I'm talking about. The little voice that says 'No You Can't' - that nagging feeling that, unlike the L'Oreal ad, you're not worth it! - or all the various different feelings of inadequacy, shyness, uselessness, that, in actual fact, have nothing to do with who you really are - they're just the leftovers from the things that happened to you during your formative years.
We all labour under this crap - but crap it is. Psychology tells us that our subconscious mind - the part of you that's constantly feeding your feelings of perceived inadequacy - is obsessed with what made you feel good or bad about yourself during your childhood - those aforementioned formative years. Unfortunately, psychology also proves that your subconscious mind actually prefers, for some bizarre reason, to focus on the negative. In other words, instead of being encouraged by your subconscious, you are constantly being put down - your subconscious mind is actually working against you. This is a very big problem for us all because, you must remember, that your subconscious is the part of your mind that automatically creates your behaviour and reactions - so you constantly keep proving yourself right! Your life is a string of self fulfilling prophecies!
As an adult, you've grown older but never grown up. Well, it's time to grow up now and take responsibility for what's going on in your head. You need to learn how to free your mind - to sweep away all that horrible self-destructive noise. Those useless thoughts will always be with you, they're deeply impressed upon your subconscious mind, they're never going to go away. However, what you have to do is learn how to not give them your attention or energy. What you must realize is that thought on its own is nothing. On the other hand, thought plus energy the energy that you give it equals your version of reality. And it has nothing to do with real reality right here, right now.
You've got to find a different way to deploy your energy. First of all, there's certainly no use in trying to counteract the useless thoughts in your head with positive thoughts. Fighting the useless thoughts is counter-productive - if you get involved in that argument you will just give those self-defeating thoughts even more energy and you'll get even more frustrated with your lot in life. Instead, you've got to learn to pay attention to something else - and nothing else is more exciting, nothing else should demand more of your attention than the wonderful world of the here and now. Because real reality is actually taking place before your very eyes - it's just that the useless crap in your head has blinded you to who you really are and all the opportunities that life has on offer - right here, right now.
The present moment is the time and place where life is lived. By training your mind to focus on the here and now, you can break out of your 'thought-made shell' and start living the life that you really want to live, free of the unreal inhibitions that have been holding you back. You have the opportunity to live life to the full right now. What you've got to do is wake up and smell the roses - I mean that literally. Reality - with all its possibilities and opportunities - is experienced through your only interface with the outside world - your five senses. Psychology proves that, because of the noise in our heads, we do not pay adequate attention to what our senses are actually telling us about the present moment. Instead, we use our internal crap to make sense of what we think is going on - and, obviously, make nonsense of it. You've got to come to your senses. You've got to train your mind to pay attention to what's real so that it will stop paying attention to what isn't.
And starting out couldn't be simpler - as I said earlier, why complicate what is simplicity itself! Tomorrow morning, before your day gets going, make ten minutes 'me-time' for yourself. Find somewhere quiet where you will not be disturbed, sit down, close your eyes and just listen. You'll think that someone has turned up the volume! However, it's just that, with your eyes closed, you're actually paying more attention to the sounds around you. Try to listen to the sound of your breathing and, then, try to feel the way the air goes in and out of you - and the effect that it has on your body - every time you breathe in and out.
The secret to living your ideal life is no big deal - you've simply got to start paying attention to living, instead of letting your subconscious mind pay attention to dying a slow and painful psychological death.
Copyright (c) 2010 Willie Horton
About The Author
Willie Horton has been a Personal Development expert since 1996 - working with top leaders in major organizations. An Irish ex-accountant, ex-banker, published author and keynote speaker, he travels the world, from his home in the French Alps, enabling people "live the dream". All his work - including his acclaimed Personal Development Workshop - is now online at http://www.gurdy.net
The author invites you to visit: http://www.gurdy.net
Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8366.shtml
Saturday 6 September 2014
Overcoming Life's Challenges - Are You Tired Of It?
By Noelyne Jones
I've given up.....hoping that one day I will no longer have challenges to overcome in life. A few years ago I had got to the point where I was tired of the constant struggle to overcome the challenges that seem to continually come my way. Challenges at work, in my personal life, with my relationships and after my divorce the financial challenges. I know that you learn most from the experiences that stretch you and take you out of your comfort zone however, I had got to the point where I no longer wanted to be stretched and developed.
Have you ever felt like that? Have you ever felt very tired of the constant battle to keep your head above water? Always feeling as though no matter what you do nothing changes or improves? Thinking that you are just about to get there, then something else arrives to knock you off your stride? Like redundancy or discovering your partner or husband is having an affair? Have you ever felt that you just don't want to have to do what it takes to survive and be successful?
The problem is with hoping that you will find happiness and peace and no struggles one day is, that one day never arrives. Do you know why it will never arrive? Because it's always in the future. That's a big lesson I have learned. There is only now. The past is history, the future a mystery and the present is a gift that's why they call it the present. It's here right now that you will find the peace and contentment and satisfaction and happiness that you desire.
Once realise that there is only now you can start to let go of the worry, frustration and feeling of constant battles. You just need to know that whatever happens you will handle it. I've turned my life around from that desperate feeling of never really getting anywhere with my life and I now have the life of my dreams. Yes there are always things that I desire and strive for, life would be no fun if you didn't have those hopes. The important thing is to enjoy the present moment.
And life continues to throw me those challenges. I've already blogged about one this week when I was asked at short notice to travel to Portsmouth to deliver a training course the following morning. What's challenging about that I hear you ask? I had been up since 5am to travel to a meeting 3 hours away and was sat on a train on the return journey when the call came through. I arrived home at 7.30 and then drove to Portsmouth arriving at midnight.
This week I've also discovered an issue with one of my tenants, that needs to be dealt with immediately. A few years ago this would have sent me into the panic zone and sleepless nights. That feeling of fear you get to the point where you freeze not knowing what to do. However, now it's a process that needs to be followed to get the desired outcome. No I don't want to have to be dealing with this, it would be lovely if everything was as it should be, but it's not. And the sooner you accept the reality the sooner you can take action to do something about it.
It's often other people's behaviour that causes the problem. In this case, a standard or something that it very important to me has been broken. When you feel strongly enough about the situation and have clear standards then the solution is easy to choose and the action that follows easy to take, even though you don't really want to be doing it. Knowing who to contact for support helps immensely. I used to bottle things up for fear of appearing as though I couldn't cope, for fear of what other people might think or say. I didn't want to have to deal with their reaction.
You all need some time now and again in the comfort zone, it's where you feel safe and things are easy. There's a familiarity and this can happen at home and at work when you have been living or working on a task for some time. If you stay in the comfort zone too long it can become boring and you start to feel that there must be more to life than this.
If you get out of the habit of setting yourself new goals and activities to follow then you can easily go into your panic zone when facing a new or unexpected situation. This is where you allow your fear of what might or might not happen to stop you from taking action, you freeze. It's inevitable that you will feel this at different stages throughout your life. You need to recognise the feeling and get curious about what it's telling you. What are you afraid of? You need to get back to the Stretch zone, where you will feel excited and challenged rather than fearful.
When you overcome your fear and step out of your comfort zone into the stretch zone life becomes much more exciting and challenging. You become more confident as you develop new skills and overcome those challenges.
I've learned that the only thing that I can truly control in my life is my reaction to whatever happens. I've also know that I have the confidence and courage to overcome anything. Life is a balancing act of living in the comfort zone, moving into the stretch zone when appropriate and recognising when you are in the panic zone and need to change your approach.
Enjoy the process of life,
Noelyne Jones
Your Personal Achievement Specialist
About The Author
Noelyne Jones the "Personal Achievement Maestro" is the Training and Development expert who specialises in overcoming low confidence and self-esteem, banishing procrastination and removing all fears and doubts so that you can get the life that you want. With over 20 years experience Noelyne is an expert in Personal Effectiveness Strategies, People Management and Health and Well-Being. Her purpose is to sky rocket your confidence and self-belief using her unique toolkit of skills and techniques including Coaching, Neuro Lingusitic Programming (NLP) and accelerated learning activities.
Find out more at http://www.noelynejones.com
Free Special Report click here http://www.howtoovercomeyourfears.com
'Showing you how to enjoy the process of life'
Feel free to post, send this, or use in your newsletter but only as is.
The author invites you to visit: http://www.noelynejones.com
Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8383.shtml
Have you ever felt like that? Have you ever felt very tired of the constant battle to keep your head above water? Always feeling as though no matter what you do nothing changes or improves? Thinking that you are just about to get there, then something else arrives to knock you off your stride? Like redundancy or discovering your partner or husband is having an affair? Have you ever felt that you just don't want to have to do what it takes to survive and be successful?
The problem is with hoping that you will find happiness and peace and no struggles one day is, that one day never arrives. Do you know why it will never arrive? Because it's always in the future. That's a big lesson I have learned. There is only now. The past is history, the future a mystery and the present is a gift that's why they call it the present. It's here right now that you will find the peace and contentment and satisfaction and happiness that you desire.
Once realise that there is only now you can start to let go of the worry, frustration and feeling of constant battles. You just need to know that whatever happens you will handle it. I've turned my life around from that desperate feeling of never really getting anywhere with my life and I now have the life of my dreams. Yes there are always things that I desire and strive for, life would be no fun if you didn't have those hopes. The important thing is to enjoy the present moment.
And life continues to throw me those challenges. I've already blogged about one this week when I was asked at short notice to travel to Portsmouth to deliver a training course the following morning. What's challenging about that I hear you ask? I had been up since 5am to travel to a meeting 3 hours away and was sat on a train on the return journey when the call came through. I arrived home at 7.30 and then drove to Portsmouth arriving at midnight.
This week I've also discovered an issue with one of my tenants, that needs to be dealt with immediately. A few years ago this would have sent me into the panic zone and sleepless nights. That feeling of fear you get to the point where you freeze not knowing what to do. However, now it's a process that needs to be followed to get the desired outcome. No I don't want to have to be dealing with this, it would be lovely if everything was as it should be, but it's not. And the sooner you accept the reality the sooner you can take action to do something about it.
It's often other people's behaviour that causes the problem. In this case, a standard or something that it very important to me has been broken. When you feel strongly enough about the situation and have clear standards then the solution is easy to choose and the action that follows easy to take, even though you don't really want to be doing it. Knowing who to contact for support helps immensely. I used to bottle things up for fear of appearing as though I couldn't cope, for fear of what other people might think or say. I didn't want to have to deal with their reaction.
You all need some time now and again in the comfort zone, it's where you feel safe and things are easy. There's a familiarity and this can happen at home and at work when you have been living or working on a task for some time. If you stay in the comfort zone too long it can become boring and you start to feel that there must be more to life than this.
If you get out of the habit of setting yourself new goals and activities to follow then you can easily go into your panic zone when facing a new or unexpected situation. This is where you allow your fear of what might or might not happen to stop you from taking action, you freeze. It's inevitable that you will feel this at different stages throughout your life. You need to recognise the feeling and get curious about what it's telling you. What are you afraid of? You need to get back to the Stretch zone, where you will feel excited and challenged rather than fearful.
When you overcome your fear and step out of your comfort zone into the stretch zone life becomes much more exciting and challenging. You become more confident as you develop new skills and overcome those challenges.
I've learned that the only thing that I can truly control in my life is my reaction to whatever happens. I've also know that I have the confidence and courage to overcome anything. Life is a balancing act of living in the comfort zone, moving into the stretch zone when appropriate and recognising when you are in the panic zone and need to change your approach.
Enjoy the process of life,
Noelyne Jones
Your Personal Achievement Specialist
About The Author
Noelyne Jones the "Personal Achievement Maestro" is the Training and Development expert who specialises in overcoming low confidence and self-esteem, banishing procrastination and removing all fears and doubts so that you can get the life that you want. With over 20 years experience Noelyne is an expert in Personal Effectiveness Strategies, People Management and Health and Well-Being. Her purpose is to sky rocket your confidence and self-belief using her unique toolkit of skills and techniques including Coaching, Neuro Lingusitic Programming (NLP) and accelerated learning activities.
Find out more at http://www.noelynejones.com
Free Special Report click here http://www.howtoovercomeyourfears.com
'Showing you how to enjoy the process of life'
Feel free to post, send this, or use in your newsletter but only as is.
The author invites you to visit: http://www.noelynejones.com
Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8383.shtml
Saturday 30 August 2014
Focused Energy
By Susan Russo
"Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you can possibly have." -Andrew Carnegie
The average man and woman have no idea how they expend their energy. Let's imagine that each day you have been given a supply of energy to use and it's up to you how you choose to use it. Your thoughts, feelings and emotions are all a part of this energy supply and depending on the quality of them is what will determine how fast or slow you wipe out your supply and how you will experience life.
You've heard of people who say they are emotionally drained. You can only imagine how this is possible. Thoughts, feelings and emotions that drag you down, wipe you out, pull you apart and have you at your wits end will deplete your level the fastest.
Fear of something happening or not happening. Stress over whatever; work, kids, money, family, life in general. Loss is a big one. Anger, hatred, jealousy, depression, worry, loneliness or any emotions that fit inside the "negative" category will clean your energy supply clock so to speak.
And to top it off, these kinds of thoughts, feelings and emotions use up so much more energy than their counterparts; joy, love; peace; kindness, intent, forgiveness; faith and harmony which by the way will actually replenish your levels.
The reality is that life CAN be tough. We are all thrown a lot of stuff to deal with and depending on how you choose to react to what you are dealt will determine how you use your energy.
When events occur, regardless of what they may be, we are all going to have a reaction to them. Initially they may take the wind out of your sails or knock you off your feet but that doesn't mean the ship will sink or that you can't pick yourself back up again.
But, depending on where you focus your energy, i.e. thoughts, emotions and feelings about any given situation will decide how much of your supply you lose. And this loss will directly affect the quality of your life.
When in the midst of some kind of turmoil it would help if you simply stop and breathe. Go inside yourself where harmony and peace reside and rest for just a minute. Know that ALL things will work out somehow, some way and that you have the strength to get through anything.
Tap into the ever present supply of healing, peace and harmony which is always there; your spirit. Know that when you switch the direction of your energy from that which zaps you to that which renews and fills you; you will replenish your supply and it will leave you empowered instead of weakened.
Draining your energy through a constant vigil on the negative is a choice. You can build your energy by focusing on your intent. What is the outcome you are after? What is it that you want to feel? What is it that you want to experience? How can focusing on what makes you feel bad make you feel better?
We all look for outside factors to make us feel better or to make things better when the truth is all that you really need you already have. All you have to do is tap into that energy field within you that will fill you up when you are down and that will bring you peace where there is chaos.
You are the only one who can choose whether you will drain yourself or fill yourself. It's all on where you focus your thoughts, feelings and emotions! Are you a zapper or a tapper?
About The Author
To find out more about how to stop wasting your time and begin living your best life now, go to:
http://www.susan-russo.com Susan's work has inspired people from all over the world to take back their power! Learn the secrets in Susan's new book: "The 7 Keys to Unlock the Power Within You."
The author invites you to visit: http://www.whystay.com
Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8388.shtml
The average man and woman have no idea how they expend their energy. Let's imagine that each day you have been given a supply of energy to use and it's up to you how you choose to use it. Your thoughts, feelings and emotions are all a part of this energy supply and depending on the quality of them is what will determine how fast or slow you wipe out your supply and how you will experience life.
You've heard of people who say they are emotionally drained. You can only imagine how this is possible. Thoughts, feelings and emotions that drag you down, wipe you out, pull you apart and have you at your wits end will deplete your level the fastest.
Fear of something happening or not happening. Stress over whatever; work, kids, money, family, life in general. Loss is a big one. Anger, hatred, jealousy, depression, worry, loneliness or any emotions that fit inside the "negative" category will clean your energy supply clock so to speak.
And to top it off, these kinds of thoughts, feelings and emotions use up so much more energy than their counterparts; joy, love; peace; kindness, intent, forgiveness; faith and harmony which by the way will actually replenish your levels.
The reality is that life CAN be tough. We are all thrown a lot of stuff to deal with and depending on how you choose to react to what you are dealt will determine how you use your energy.
When events occur, regardless of what they may be, we are all going to have a reaction to them. Initially they may take the wind out of your sails or knock you off your feet but that doesn't mean the ship will sink or that you can't pick yourself back up again.
But, depending on where you focus your energy, i.e. thoughts, emotions and feelings about any given situation will decide how much of your supply you lose. And this loss will directly affect the quality of your life.
When in the midst of some kind of turmoil it would help if you simply stop and breathe. Go inside yourself where harmony and peace reside and rest for just a minute. Know that ALL things will work out somehow, some way and that you have the strength to get through anything.
Tap into the ever present supply of healing, peace and harmony which is always there; your spirit. Know that when you switch the direction of your energy from that which zaps you to that which renews and fills you; you will replenish your supply and it will leave you empowered instead of weakened.
Draining your energy through a constant vigil on the negative is a choice. You can build your energy by focusing on your intent. What is the outcome you are after? What is it that you want to feel? What is it that you want to experience? How can focusing on what makes you feel bad make you feel better?
We all look for outside factors to make us feel better or to make things better when the truth is all that you really need you already have. All you have to do is tap into that energy field within you that will fill you up when you are down and that will bring you peace where there is chaos.
You are the only one who can choose whether you will drain yourself or fill yourself. It's all on where you focus your thoughts, feelings and emotions! Are you a zapper or a tapper?
About The Author
To find out more about how to stop wasting your time and begin living your best life now, go to:
http://www.susan-russo.com Susan's work has inspired people from all over the world to take back their power! Learn the secrets in Susan's new book: "The 7 Keys to Unlock the Power Within You."
The author invites you to visit: http://www.whystay.com
Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8388.shtml
Saturday 23 August 2014
Getting Beyond Betrayal
By Susan Russo
"Trust can take years to build, but only a second to break." -Anonymous
I get more questions on this one topic than any other. In most cases people struggle with not being able to get over some thing or situation that is causing them pain. They typically say, "I just can't."
When you find yourself in a situation where someone you thought was your friend or worse yet your partner, and they have lied to you, cheated on you, stabbed you in the back or betrayed you on any level, how do you think that is going to make you feel?
Some of the emotions you might experience right out of the gate are: outrage, anger, hurt, devastation, disbelief and an overwhelming feeling of injustice that you want to avenge.
These kinds of emotions are normal reactions when someone who you thought loved you or cared about you, betrays you. The closer you were to this person the bigger the impact.
But, number one, it doesn't mean that you won't get over it and number two and more importantly, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the kind of person they are.
Most of the time people blame themselves as if there is something wrong with them and that is the reason this person betrayed them.
For instance: Would you ever lie to your boss about your friend at work, telling stories that weren't true about your friend to set them up to get fired? Why not?
How about this, would you ever deceive a friend, or do something behind their back that would ultimately hurt them? Why not?
Would you disrespect your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend in front of other people? Why not?
Or, would you lie, cheat and steal from your partner? Why not?
Maybe the reason you wouldn't do this is because that isn't the kind of person you are and you would never think of doing something like this, but yet it's been done to you and you still want this person in your life? Why?
And, when any of these circumstances land at your front door, why do you blame yourself? There isn't something wrong with you; there is something wrong with them!!
Let's see, could it be their lack of integrity? Or, is it their lack of honesty, respect, honor, goodness, compassion? Etc. These people only care about one thing,themselves. Yet, you put them on a pedestal and act like you are losing something by not having them in your life.
Once the impact of being betrayed begins to subside you can begin to see them for who and what they are, hopefully you will see that, even though YOU cared about them, they apparently had another agenda.
Look, no one deserves to be or likes to be on the receiving end of someone's blatant disregard toward them. Especially from someone you love and who says they love you. But, unfortunately, it happens way too often and I too have been the recipient of this kind of betrayal.
It's what you do when this ugly event occurs in your life that will make the difference.
Of course you go through the initial emotions, that's normal. But the last thing you do is,think there is something wrong with you. The fault clearly lands on the shoulders of the person who would knowingly do something that would hurt you.
Once the shock subsides and you start to see straight again, you can see that this is NOT the kind of person you want to call a friend or worse yet, a partner.
Oh sure, you may still love them and you are reeling from the betrayal but the reality is, anyone who could treat you with such little regard, kick you to the curb and couldn't care less as to how this will affect your life, isn't worth another precious thought.
It's people like this who make it an ugly place to live in this world. They have more deep seated issues than you realize and they clearly don't deserve to be regarded so highly by you, as if they were some kind of a prize.
Remember, it's not what happens to us in life that matters as much as how we handle it; how we choose to perceive it. You can cop an attitude instead of falling apart. You can choose to accept what happened and let it go or you can hold onto it and keep telling yourself that you can't let go.
You can choose to remain a victim of betrayal or you can clear your head and say, what a full-time jerk, thank God/Allah/Higher Power that they are out of my life and you move on.
You find the strength to move on by knowing that you don't deserve to be treated like this, you find the strength by knowing that you are so much better off without this kind of person in your life, you find the strength when you put your head back on straight and see them for who they truly are.
Letting betrayal eat at you is your choice. Pick up the pieces, lick your wounds and live a better life without them in it. Terrible things happen to everyone in life. It's unfair and you really don't deserve it but what can you do? Either let it make you stronger or let it tear you apart.
By dwelling on the past and the hurt you only keep yourself imprisoned in the past. Take the key, unlock your jail door and free yourself from holding onto a situation that has hurt you. Let go of wanting revenge and going over and over what if, if only and why.
There isn't anything you can do now to change what happened except deal with it.
Hold your head high, knowing that this too shall pass and you will not allow this kind of person to continue to affect your life by YOU holding onto them.
You throw out your trash right? Well, next garbage day, throw out the mental garbage you've been holding onto, clean out your emotional house and clear out the old to bring in the new. There is a whole life out there waiting for you when you move on.
The reality is that you are going to move on sooner or later so why not make it sooner. It's up to you.
About The Author
Susan Russo is an author and coach whose work has inspired people from all over the world to take back their power! Would you like to empower yourself to do the same? Discover Susan's 7 Keys to unlock your power by picking up your FREE report at:http://www.susanrusso.com
The author invites you to visit: http://www.whystay.com
Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8443.shtml
I get more questions on this one topic than any other. In most cases people struggle with not being able to get over some thing or situation that is causing them pain. They typically say, "I just can't."
When you find yourself in a situation where someone you thought was your friend or worse yet your partner, and they have lied to you, cheated on you, stabbed you in the back or betrayed you on any level, how do you think that is going to make you feel?
Some of the emotions you might experience right out of the gate are: outrage, anger, hurt, devastation, disbelief and an overwhelming feeling of injustice that you want to avenge.
These kinds of emotions are normal reactions when someone who you thought loved you or cared about you, betrays you. The closer you were to this person the bigger the impact.
But, number one, it doesn't mean that you won't get over it and number two and more importantly, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the kind of person they are.
Most of the time people blame themselves as if there is something wrong with them and that is the reason this person betrayed them.
For instance: Would you ever lie to your boss about your friend at work, telling stories that weren't true about your friend to set them up to get fired? Why not?
How about this, would you ever deceive a friend, or do something behind their back that would ultimately hurt them? Why not?
Would you disrespect your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend in front of other people? Why not?
Or, would you lie, cheat and steal from your partner? Why not?
Maybe the reason you wouldn't do this is because that isn't the kind of person you are and you would never think of doing something like this, but yet it's been done to you and you still want this person in your life? Why?
And, when any of these circumstances land at your front door, why do you blame yourself? There isn't something wrong with you; there is something wrong with them!!
Let's see, could it be their lack of integrity? Or, is it their lack of honesty, respect, honor, goodness, compassion? Etc. These people only care about one thing,themselves. Yet, you put them on a pedestal and act like you are losing something by not having them in your life.
Once the impact of being betrayed begins to subside you can begin to see them for who and what they are, hopefully you will see that, even though YOU cared about them, they apparently had another agenda.
Look, no one deserves to be or likes to be on the receiving end of someone's blatant disregard toward them. Especially from someone you love and who says they love you. But, unfortunately, it happens way too often and I too have been the recipient of this kind of betrayal.
It's what you do when this ugly event occurs in your life that will make the difference.
Of course you go through the initial emotions, that's normal. But the last thing you do is,think there is something wrong with you. The fault clearly lands on the shoulders of the person who would knowingly do something that would hurt you.
Once the shock subsides and you start to see straight again, you can see that this is NOT the kind of person you want to call a friend or worse yet, a partner.
Oh sure, you may still love them and you are reeling from the betrayal but the reality is, anyone who could treat you with such little regard, kick you to the curb and couldn't care less as to how this will affect your life, isn't worth another precious thought.
It's people like this who make it an ugly place to live in this world. They have more deep seated issues than you realize and they clearly don't deserve to be regarded so highly by you, as if they were some kind of a prize.
Remember, it's not what happens to us in life that matters as much as how we handle it; how we choose to perceive it. You can cop an attitude instead of falling apart. You can choose to accept what happened and let it go or you can hold onto it and keep telling yourself that you can't let go.
You can choose to remain a victim of betrayal or you can clear your head and say, what a full-time jerk, thank God/Allah/Higher Power that they are out of my life and you move on.
You find the strength to move on by knowing that you don't deserve to be treated like this, you find the strength by knowing that you are so much better off without this kind of person in your life, you find the strength when you put your head back on straight and see them for who they truly are.
Letting betrayal eat at you is your choice. Pick up the pieces, lick your wounds and live a better life without them in it. Terrible things happen to everyone in life. It's unfair and you really don't deserve it but what can you do? Either let it make you stronger or let it tear you apart.
By dwelling on the past and the hurt you only keep yourself imprisoned in the past. Take the key, unlock your jail door and free yourself from holding onto a situation that has hurt you. Let go of wanting revenge and going over and over what if, if only and why.
There isn't anything you can do now to change what happened except deal with it.
Hold your head high, knowing that this too shall pass and you will not allow this kind of person to continue to affect your life by YOU holding onto them.
You throw out your trash right? Well, next garbage day, throw out the mental garbage you've been holding onto, clean out your emotional house and clear out the old to bring in the new. There is a whole life out there waiting for you when you move on.
The reality is that you are going to move on sooner or later so why not make it sooner. It's up to you.
About The Author
Susan Russo is an author and coach whose work has inspired people from all over the world to take back their power! Would you like to empower yourself to do the same? Discover Susan's 7 Keys to unlock your power by picking up your FREE report at:http://www.susanrusso.com
The author invites you to visit: http://www.whystay.com
Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8443.shtml
Saturday 16 August 2014
Needs vs. Neediness
By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
I recently received the following request:
"Hi Dr. Paul -- I would be interested in an article that talks about having needs vs. being needy.
I was brought up to be ashamed of my needs. I was supposed to be self-sufficient. As a result, I am ashamed of neediness and often don't recognize my own needs. I also don't know how to tell if others are "being needy" or simply expressing a need.
What I am learning is that humans are INTER-dependent and everyone has needs that can only be filled by another person. One example is the Romanian orphans who were brain damaged because they were never held or touched. In order to be healthy I need others, because I can't hug myself.
So I can take care of myself, but I think my "self-sufficiency toolbox" isn't complete if I can't recognize valid needs, express them to others, and ask for help from them.
Please if you can, I would love an article that differentiates between being needy and having needs."
The woman asking this question is referring to emotional needs - needs beyond the basic physical needs such as food, water, air, shelter, and so on.
We do not thrive without love, so I consider love a basic need. Even though we might muddle through without love, I believe that many people get ill and die from a lack of love - dying of loneliness.
Most of us know that infants and small children need love to survive. Many babies have died or, as stated above, suffered brain damage, due to not being held with love. "Failure to thrive" is the term used when an infant dies due to not being held with love.
There are times when we need another to hold us and empathically help us through core pain such as heartache and grief. There are times when we are ill and need another to soothe us. This kind of loving care is a basic need.
The sharing of love is also a basic need. However, there is a huge difference between trying to get someone else to love us, and our need to share love.
We all need to learn to bring love to ourselves through our spiritual connection. It is only when we can fill ourselves up with the Source of Love that we have love to share. When are not taking responsibility for developing our spiritual connection and learning to fill ourselves up with love, then we become needy.
When someone is not taking responsibility for their own feelings and pulling on others for attention and approval, they are being needy. You know they are being needy because it feels like they are draining you rather than sharing with you. You know you are being needy when you feel empty inside and upset with others when you don't get what you want from them.
Part of taking loving care of ourselves is to recognize our need to share love and reach out to others who also want to share love. But asking for help from an empty place, hoping that another person will fill you up and make you feel worthy and safe, is needy. We are needy when we emotionally abandon ourselves and expect others to give us what we are not giving to ourselves. We are legitimately asking to have a need met when we reach out to others to share love, or to receive the help we might need to heal. Our need to share love can only be met by another person.
The difference between need and needy is mostly about energy. We are needy when we are empty because we have abandoned ourselves by not taking responsibility for our own feelings. We are expressing a need when we are taking loving care of ourselves and sharing our love with others, or reaching out for legitimate help. While the actions of need and neediness may look the same, then energy behind the actions are completely different.
About The Author
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding process - featured on Oprah. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com/welcome and visit our website athttp://www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!
The author invites you to visit: http://www.innerbonding.com
Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8484.shtml
"Hi Dr. Paul -- I would be interested in an article that talks about having needs vs. being needy.
I was brought up to be ashamed of my needs. I was supposed to be self-sufficient. As a result, I am ashamed of neediness and often don't recognize my own needs. I also don't know how to tell if others are "being needy" or simply expressing a need.
What I am learning is that humans are INTER-dependent and everyone has needs that can only be filled by another person. One example is the Romanian orphans who were brain damaged because they were never held or touched. In order to be healthy I need others, because I can't hug myself.
So I can take care of myself, but I think my "self-sufficiency toolbox" isn't complete if I can't recognize valid needs, express them to others, and ask for help from them.
Please if you can, I would love an article that differentiates between being needy and having needs."
The woman asking this question is referring to emotional needs - needs beyond the basic physical needs such as food, water, air, shelter, and so on.
We do not thrive without love, so I consider love a basic need. Even though we might muddle through without love, I believe that many people get ill and die from a lack of love - dying of loneliness.
Most of us know that infants and small children need love to survive. Many babies have died or, as stated above, suffered brain damage, due to not being held with love. "Failure to thrive" is the term used when an infant dies due to not being held with love.
There are times when we need another to hold us and empathically help us through core pain such as heartache and grief. There are times when we are ill and need another to soothe us. This kind of loving care is a basic need.
The sharing of love is also a basic need. However, there is a huge difference between trying to get someone else to love us, and our need to share love.
We all need to learn to bring love to ourselves through our spiritual connection. It is only when we can fill ourselves up with the Source of Love that we have love to share. When are not taking responsibility for developing our spiritual connection and learning to fill ourselves up with love, then we become needy.
When someone is not taking responsibility for their own feelings and pulling on others for attention and approval, they are being needy. You know they are being needy because it feels like they are draining you rather than sharing with you. You know you are being needy when you feel empty inside and upset with others when you don't get what you want from them.
Part of taking loving care of ourselves is to recognize our need to share love and reach out to others who also want to share love. But asking for help from an empty place, hoping that another person will fill you up and make you feel worthy and safe, is needy. We are needy when we emotionally abandon ourselves and expect others to give us what we are not giving to ourselves. We are legitimately asking to have a need met when we reach out to others to share love, or to receive the help we might need to heal. Our need to share love can only be met by another person.
The difference between need and needy is mostly about energy. We are needy when we are empty because we have abandoned ourselves by not taking responsibility for our own feelings. We are expressing a need when we are taking loving care of ourselves and sharing our love with others, or reaching out for legitimate help. While the actions of need and neediness may look the same, then energy behind the actions are completely different.
About The Author
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding process - featured on Oprah. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com/welcome and visit our website athttp://www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!
The author invites you to visit: http://www.innerbonding.com
Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8484.shtml
Saturday 9 August 2014
How To Set Your Own Agenda
By Jed McCall
Living in the hustle and bustle of modern living can be difficult even confusing at times. We are often in so much of a rush to get things done that a day passes by in the wink of an eye. There are so many things outside of our control that it can seem like we don't have much of a say in the running of our own lives.
When we are not following orders at work, we are coping with a variety of different reliance's such as relying on public transport, relying on public services, relying on friends or family. Wouldn't it be nice to be feel self reliant about everything for a change? Well, the truth is that this is not possible because we are reliant on others to an extent, that's just how the world works.
What we can do is to take stock of our current position and assess how happy we are with it. If you feel like you are caught up in the rat race but can't think of a way out, then do not despair; for there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Through a process of self-empowerment you can wrestle back more control over your life than you thought possible. Becoming more than you are at present means not accepting second best from your-self. In order for you to do this, you need to learn as much about yourself as possible from your desires, motivations and values.
The art of introspection has been recognised as useful for countless generations of thinkers. The earliest proponents of self-improvement had the wisdom to know that true change comes from within. Self-awareness is the process of understanding everything about yourself - warts and all.
Try this little exercise to begin with to understand a little more about yourself: Take a piece of paper and a pen and find a quiet room somewhere. Now draw a spidergram with yourself in the centre and all the branches coming out representing different part of your life ; for instance, job, personal life, money situation, overall happiness etc. Now rate your levels of contentment with each one of these things on a scale of 1-5. Look at the results and see what you have found. What you have done is to draw a mental map of your current happiness with life from which you can draw up an action plan. This mental map of yours is the foundation stone of your self-improvement. It is time for you to take this information and turn it into positive action.
Agenda setting is all about having a clear goal in mind. If your agenda is to take control over a certain part of your life, it's necessary to develop an action plan to tackle it. Let's use the example of financial insecurity to test this theory. Imagine that in your mental map you realise that a lack of control over your finances is at the root of most of your anxieties. Well, you have identified a problem now let's deal with it.
Your action plan should include things such as a list of all your monthly outgoings, a list of all your income and a list of necessities. However, you also have to think about what you could sacrifice in order to get your finances back in check. Honesty is essential for any form of self-improvement. If you have unrealistic expectations, do not expect to make any headway in improving yourself. Of course, if you are unhappy with having to make sacrifices, you can use you unhappiness as a drive to getting you another job or promotion that will enable you to afford them.
That is the great thing with asserting control over your life : agenda setting provides you with so many unexpected benefits in other areas of your life that you quickly gain confidence to tackle all things you are unhappy about.
About The Author
Many years of struggle to overcome negative thought patterns and achieve success in personal and financial life has opened my mind to others in the same or similar situations, to many of us have spent to long in the success wilderness.
Take a look at what is on offer and remember to get your no cost package of amazing tools to assist you.
Visit http://www.discover-wealth.com
The author invites you to visit: http://www.discover-wealth.com
Article Source:http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8557.shtml
Saturday 2 August 2014
How Your Attitude Can Impact Your Life
By Kimberley Cohen
Why is it that some people can look on the bright side of things while others seem to be stuck in perpetuating negative thoughts, anxiety, doubts, and situations and they they have a difficult time seeing the positive or give up before they even try?
What separates the two types of people isn't the person or the situation, but rather their way of thinking.
Your attitude has everything to do with your creativity, happiness, and love.
Viktor Frankl said, "The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given circumstance". This quote from a man who found meaning in extreme conditions in a concentration camp.
On the outside of the concentration camp it read, "Abandon all hope ye who enter here".
Just reading those words might make a person fearful and lose hope, yet Viktor Frankl was able to experience freedom - freedom to choose one's attitude and spiritual well being.
Wow...that's quite an attitude, wouldn't you say?
So how does a person adopt a mind set of positivity and hope when faced with uncertainties?
By choosing it.
By maintaining an unwavering inner strength.
By not giving up, and holding onto love, faith, and hope.
By tuning in, instead of out.
By having a positive outlook even when things seem negative.
By taking responsibility for how you are seeing things through.
By recognizing how your thoughts are impacting your life.
Easier said than done? Yes, sometimes it is. It takes determination and commitment to keep your ego in check.
Continuing to gain more awareness of the thoughts and beliefs, actions and reactions that you are choosing to have.
Gaining an understanding that you and only you are responsible for not only how you handle life's ups and downs, but what you do with them.
Life has this wonderful way of waking us up to what needs our friendship, attention, healing and most importantly, our love.
Love is without a doubt the answer to all problems and questions. It is the solution.
Read this a couple of times. Do you feel any resistance with this?
Developing an attitude of love instead of judgment and hate takes time.
Being careful and carefree, instead of calculated and careless, requires your attention.
Begin to take notice of what and whom you judge. It can be your body, your emotions, your friends, family, co-workers, or situations.
When you recognize this, you can begin to change your attitude towards it.
You can begin to clear the way and open your mind's eye to elevated thinking and being.
The choice of how you view the world and live and love within it is yours.
Sometimes it might seem like you've lost your direction at navigating through life. When this happens, your course is just being re-routed, not lost.
It's not about denying what's happening, it's about implementing a positive attitude when times are trying, taking responsibility for what's occurring in your life and the choices you make, and knowing it has a direct influence on your happiness and well being.
Don't wait for tomorrow to develop a mind set that enhances your life; you can start right now no matter what your circumstances are.
Remember, your attitude can impact your life.
Find out how the Insight Technique will assist you in gaining insights into how your attitude plays a part in the role in your life.
About The Author
Kimberley Cohen is the Founder, Facilitator and Personal Insight Coach of The Insight Technique. She founded the Insight Technique - Your Insight to genuine Happiness, Purpose and Prosperity to assist herself and others in transforming limiting mindsets.
Soar through the limiting beliefs holding you back and experience the freedom of unlimited possibilities. http://www.TheInsightTechnique.com
The author invites you to visit: http://www.insighttechnique.com
Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8583.shtml
What separates the two types of people isn't the person or the situation, but rather their way of thinking.
Your attitude has everything to do with your creativity, happiness, and love.
Viktor Frankl said, "The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given circumstance". This quote from a man who found meaning in extreme conditions in a concentration camp.
On the outside of the concentration camp it read, "Abandon all hope ye who enter here".
Just reading those words might make a person fearful and lose hope, yet Viktor Frankl was able to experience freedom - freedom to choose one's attitude and spiritual well being.
Wow...that's quite an attitude, wouldn't you say?
So how does a person adopt a mind set of positivity and hope when faced with uncertainties?
By choosing it.
By maintaining an unwavering inner strength.
By not giving up, and holding onto love, faith, and hope.
By tuning in, instead of out.
By having a positive outlook even when things seem negative.
By taking responsibility for how you are seeing things through.
By recognizing how your thoughts are impacting your life.
Easier said than done? Yes, sometimes it is. It takes determination and commitment to keep your ego in check.
Continuing to gain more awareness of the thoughts and beliefs, actions and reactions that you are choosing to have.
Gaining an understanding that you and only you are responsible for not only how you handle life's ups and downs, but what you do with them.
Life has this wonderful way of waking us up to what needs our friendship, attention, healing and most importantly, our love.
Love is without a doubt the answer to all problems and questions. It is the solution.
Read this a couple of times. Do you feel any resistance with this?
Developing an attitude of love instead of judgment and hate takes time.
Being careful and carefree, instead of calculated and careless, requires your attention.
Begin to take notice of what and whom you judge. It can be your body, your emotions, your friends, family, co-workers, or situations.
When you recognize this, you can begin to change your attitude towards it.
You can begin to clear the way and open your mind's eye to elevated thinking and being.
The choice of how you view the world and live and love within it is yours.
Sometimes it might seem like you've lost your direction at navigating through life. When this happens, your course is just being re-routed, not lost.
It's not about denying what's happening, it's about implementing a positive attitude when times are trying, taking responsibility for what's occurring in your life and the choices you make, and knowing it has a direct influence on your happiness and well being.
Don't wait for tomorrow to develop a mind set that enhances your life; you can start right now no matter what your circumstances are.
Remember, your attitude can impact your life.
Find out how the Insight Technique will assist you in gaining insights into how your attitude plays a part in the role in your life.
About The Author
Kimberley Cohen is the Founder, Facilitator and Personal Insight Coach of The Insight Technique. She founded the Insight Technique - Your Insight to genuine Happiness, Purpose and Prosperity to assist herself and others in transforming limiting mindsets.
Soar through the limiting beliefs holding you back and experience the freedom of unlimited possibilities. http://www.TheInsightTechnique.com
The author invites you to visit: http://www.insighttechnique.com
Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8583.shtml
Saturday 26 July 2014
Getting the Important Things Done
By Harold Taylor
By now everyone has heard the standard answer to "How do I get all the important things done?" The pat answer is "Take them off your to do list and schedule time for them in your planner." And most people do accept the fact that "To Do" lists are for the things we intend to do; but scheduled blocks of time in our planner are for the things we are committed to do.
But even scheduling important tasks and activities in our planners as though they were appointments for life-saving surgery does not guarantee they will get done. Because they are not scheduled appointments with the surgeon and they are usually not life-threatening. So when something urgent pops out of nowhere demanding our time, that important goal-related activity frequently gets delayed.
There are no guarantees in life. And there is no panacea for ensuring that the important things get done first. After all, we are only human. Regardless of what time management experts may tell you, we all struggle with procrastination to varying degrees. At times we all fall victim to the tyranny of the urgent. And in my 35 years as a time management consultant, I have never met a person with the degree of commitment, focus, self-discipline and cool self-centeredness necessary to ignore the pleas of someone requesting their time. And I hope I never do.
The truth of the matter is that people are more important than projects, and relationships are more important than deadlines.
But there are things you can do, after you have scheduled the priorities in your planner, that will increase the odds of getting them done. Here are a few strategies that I have found helpful.
Schedule priorities early in the day. The demands on your time usually increase as the day progresses. If you are a "lark" or "early bird" and your energy level is at its peak early in the day, this habit is a plus. Choose times when distractions are at a minimum. Similarly, schedule the most important tasks early in the week. The week tends to get busier as it progresses.
Schedule the priorities in ink. If you use a paper planner, that is. There is something tentative about penciled in appointments. And there is nothing concrete about electronic notations either. Do what works for you; but don't make your scheduled commitments too easy to change.
Do first things first. You have already scheduled your priorities in your planner and it's important that you work on these before looking for more. Ignore your in-basket, e-mail, voice mail messages and text messages until after your first scheduled activity. The rest of the day may not go according to schedule; but in most cases you can at least start the day off right. Even one hour per day on the priorities is more valuable than five hours per day on routine and trivial tasks.
Respect your own time. If you would not cancel an appointment with someone else at the last minute out of respect for them, then give yourself the same consideration. Stick to those appointments with yourself wherever possible. Have as much respect for your own time as you have for others. Resist the urge to delay your own projects simply because they can be delayed.
When your schedule appointments with yourself to complete a task, always schedule more time than you think the task will take. Regardless of your self-disciplined nature and your ability to focus, there will be interruptions whether they are in the form of people, mental blocks or other ideas popping into your mind. Allowing time for these contingencies will relieve stress and keep you on target. My general rule is to allow 50 percent more time than I think the task will take. Or in the case of an ongoing project, such as writing a book, 50% more time than I would have to spend in order to keep on target.
Regardless of how well you plan, things seldom go the way you anticipate. That's okay. You'll be a lot more productive than if you didn't plan at all, and simply relied on "To Do" lists. Just as a manager is an exceptional decision-maker if he or she is right 80% of the time, so is a person an exceptional time manager if 80% of the day goes according to plan.
About The Author
Harold Taylor's website https://www.taylorintime.com
Harold Taylor has been speaking, writing and conducting training programs on the topic of effective time management for over 30 years. He has written 16 books, including the Canadian bestseller, Making Time Work For You. He has developed over 50 time management products that have sold in 38 countries around the world.
The author invites you to visit: http://www.taylorintime.com
Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8654.shtml
But even scheduling important tasks and activities in our planners as though they were appointments for life-saving surgery does not guarantee they will get done. Because they are not scheduled appointments with the surgeon and they are usually not life-threatening. So when something urgent pops out of nowhere demanding our time, that important goal-related activity frequently gets delayed.
There are no guarantees in life. And there is no panacea for ensuring that the important things get done first. After all, we are only human. Regardless of what time management experts may tell you, we all struggle with procrastination to varying degrees. At times we all fall victim to the tyranny of the urgent. And in my 35 years as a time management consultant, I have never met a person with the degree of commitment, focus, self-discipline and cool self-centeredness necessary to ignore the pleas of someone requesting their time. And I hope I never do.
The truth of the matter is that people are more important than projects, and relationships are more important than deadlines.
But there are things you can do, after you have scheduled the priorities in your planner, that will increase the odds of getting them done. Here are a few strategies that I have found helpful.
Schedule priorities early in the day. The demands on your time usually increase as the day progresses. If you are a "lark" or "early bird" and your energy level is at its peak early in the day, this habit is a plus. Choose times when distractions are at a minimum. Similarly, schedule the most important tasks early in the week. The week tends to get busier as it progresses.
Schedule the priorities in ink. If you use a paper planner, that is. There is something tentative about penciled in appointments. And there is nothing concrete about electronic notations either. Do what works for you; but don't make your scheduled commitments too easy to change.
Do first things first. You have already scheduled your priorities in your planner and it's important that you work on these before looking for more. Ignore your in-basket, e-mail, voice mail messages and text messages until after your first scheduled activity. The rest of the day may not go according to schedule; but in most cases you can at least start the day off right. Even one hour per day on the priorities is more valuable than five hours per day on routine and trivial tasks.
Respect your own time. If you would not cancel an appointment with someone else at the last minute out of respect for them, then give yourself the same consideration. Stick to those appointments with yourself wherever possible. Have as much respect for your own time as you have for others. Resist the urge to delay your own projects simply because they can be delayed.
When your schedule appointments with yourself to complete a task, always schedule more time than you think the task will take. Regardless of your self-disciplined nature and your ability to focus, there will be interruptions whether they are in the form of people, mental blocks or other ideas popping into your mind. Allowing time for these contingencies will relieve stress and keep you on target. My general rule is to allow 50 percent more time than I think the task will take. Or in the case of an ongoing project, such as writing a book, 50% more time than I would have to spend in order to keep on target.
Regardless of how well you plan, things seldom go the way you anticipate. That's okay. You'll be a lot more productive than if you didn't plan at all, and simply relied on "To Do" lists. Just as a manager is an exceptional decision-maker if he or she is right 80% of the time, so is a person an exceptional time manager if 80% of the day goes according to plan.
About The Author
Harold Taylor's website https://www.taylorintime.com
Harold Taylor has been speaking, writing and conducting training programs on the topic of effective time management for over 30 years. He has written 16 books, including the Canadian bestseller, Making Time Work For You. He has developed over 50 time management products that have sold in 38 countries around the world.
The author invites you to visit: http://www.taylorintime.com
Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8654.shtml
Saturday 19 July 2014
How To Expand Your View Of Reality And Enrich Your Life
By George Hutton
If you found yourself in a fancy restaurant, that served your favorite food, which would you rather eat, the food itself, or a picture of the food? Or even better, the food itself, or the menu? Yet eating the menu is something we do on a daily basis. We don't even realize that the food even exists. How can this be?
Most people aren't aware that our perceptions of the world are severely limited. Everything we know about reality comes in through our five senses. Sight, sounds, taste, touch, and smell. We make up a "menu" of the world around us by sampling only a small part of it through our sense organs. All of our beliefs, feelings, thoughts, and ideas are based on these "samples" and not the world itself.
Neuroscientists estimate that the total amount of information our brains can consciously process is about 40 bits per second. But the amount of information that is actually hitting our sense organs if far higher. Millions of times higher. We only "sample" a minuscule amount of "reality" compared to what is really out there. It would be literally impossible for our conscious minds to handle all the massive amount of data presented to us every second.
So, what does one do with this information? Simply by realizing that our perceptions are merely a small estimation we can open ourselves up to a much broader perspective. Two people seeing the same event will have two completely different opinions. And these different experiences are necessarily subjective.
This is good news, because it means that any situation you find yourself it isn't stuck in a rigid, inflexible meaning. The only thing you need to do is to change your subjective opinion regarding what's going on, and see things from a different perspective. Most people get stuck in a situation, and then spend all their time and energy complaining about the situation, and hoping it will change.
If you took even a percent of that same effort, and worked on changing your response to the situation and your interpretation of it, you'd free up your precious brain processing time for more important things, like how you can more easily get what you want out of life.
One way to do this is to try on different personalities. Look at the situation from different eyes. How would your next door neighbor view the situation? How would Bugs Bunny view the situation? How would Abraham Lincoln view the situation? By trying on different characters and their perspectives, you'll get a much broader appreciation of what's really out there. Once you start practicing this change in perspective on a regular basis, it will become more and more automatic, and life will bother you a lot less.
About The Author
To learn powerful secrets of conversational hypnosis other free hypnosis resources, head on over to http://www.georgehutton.net/wordpress today
The author invites you to visit: http://www.georgehutton.net
Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8660.shtml
Most people aren't aware that our perceptions of the world are severely limited. Everything we know about reality comes in through our five senses. Sight, sounds, taste, touch, and smell. We make up a "menu" of the world around us by sampling only a small part of it through our sense organs. All of our beliefs, feelings, thoughts, and ideas are based on these "samples" and not the world itself.
Neuroscientists estimate that the total amount of information our brains can consciously process is about 40 bits per second. But the amount of information that is actually hitting our sense organs if far higher. Millions of times higher. We only "sample" a minuscule amount of "reality" compared to what is really out there. It would be literally impossible for our conscious minds to handle all the massive amount of data presented to us every second.
So, what does one do with this information? Simply by realizing that our perceptions are merely a small estimation we can open ourselves up to a much broader perspective. Two people seeing the same event will have two completely different opinions. And these different experiences are necessarily subjective.
This is good news, because it means that any situation you find yourself it isn't stuck in a rigid, inflexible meaning. The only thing you need to do is to change your subjective opinion regarding what's going on, and see things from a different perspective. Most people get stuck in a situation, and then spend all their time and energy complaining about the situation, and hoping it will change.
If you took even a percent of that same effort, and worked on changing your response to the situation and your interpretation of it, you'd free up your precious brain processing time for more important things, like how you can more easily get what you want out of life.
One way to do this is to try on different personalities. Look at the situation from different eyes. How would your next door neighbor view the situation? How would Bugs Bunny view the situation? How would Abraham Lincoln view the situation? By trying on different characters and their perspectives, you'll get a much broader appreciation of what's really out there. Once you start practicing this change in perspective on a regular basis, it will become more and more automatic, and life will bother you a lot less.
About The Author
To learn powerful secrets of conversational hypnosis other free hypnosis resources, head on over to http://www.georgehutton.net/wordpress today
The author invites you to visit: http://www.georgehutton.net
Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8660.shtml
Saturday 12 July 2014
Ten Decisions Leaders Make Every Day
By Kevin Eikenberry
In the course of your day as a leader you are faced with many decisions. Some come in emails, some in inquiries, and some in meetings. Some you have time to consider, for some you will rely on input from others, and others you must make immediately.
There's no question, leadership requires decision-making.
The decisions described below are, in large part, a different kind of decision. These decisions are not thrust upon you; they are decisions in front of you all of the time. These decisions are typically decided subconsciously or by default likely because you've not considered them at all.
I'll share them with you and suggest a decision. Then you can decide your response.
Decide to focus.
Are you scattered in your approach and thinking? Are you disciplined to stay on task and move yourself and your team in the direction of your goals? Do you know the most important things you and your team need to be doing and thinking about? If you are consciously diligent about your focus, you may not like your answers to those questions.
Decide to trust.
If you want more trust in your working relationships, begin by being more trusting. This doesn't imply blind trust or trusting people to do things they aren't prepared for, but it does imply that trust is a decision. How much trust are you granting to others? Are you happy with this choice?
Decide to set high(er) expectations.
People tend to live up to - or down to - the expectations we have of them. Do your people know what is expected? Are those expectations not only clear, but aspirational? If you want improved performance both of these answers need to be yes.
Decide to lead by example.
People are watching you. They are watching what you say and what you do. The reality is you are already leading by example. The question is - is your example what you really want them to be emulating?
Decide to look for the good.
People grow from encouragement, a focus on their strengths and positive reinforcement. It is hard to share those ideas if you don't see the examples. Are you intentionally looking for what people are doing right?
Decide to create a positive environment.
Environment matters to productivity, job satisfaction, retention, collaboration, creativity and more. As a leader, you set the tone and are the most important regulator of the environment. What environment are you choosing to create?
Decide to engage.
Are you an absentee leader, leaving your team to "do their work"? Do people see you as a part of the team - a caring, participating member? You are not just part of the work product, you must be part of the social fabric of the team.
Decide to start.
Some things that aren't being done won't get started until you go first. That is the role of the leader. What needs to get going? What needs a push? What must you decide to begin?
Decide to stop.
The status quo will continue without your leadership. When did you last consider what no longer needs to be done? When did you last look at the work of your team to determine what work is no longer needed? More personally, what are you doing that is inefficient or counter-productive?
Decide to learn.
Being a continual learner is a choice. Are you pleased with your personal performance? Have you mastered your most important roles and tasks? What else do you want or need to learn? The best leaders are learners. What have you decided is next for your personal growth?
These are not all the subtle decisions available to you as a leader, but they are among the most important.
I challenge you to consider each one individually and make conscious decisions; decisions that will help you be a more effective and successful leader.
About The Author
Kevin is a bestselling author, speaker, trainer, consultant and the Chief Potential Officer of the Kevin Eikenberry Group http://www.KevinEikenberry.com.
The author invites you to visit:
http://www.kevineikenberry.com
Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8736.shtml
There's no question, leadership requires decision-making.
The decisions described below are, in large part, a different kind of decision. These decisions are not thrust upon you; they are decisions in front of you all of the time. These decisions are typically decided subconsciously or by default likely because you've not considered them at all.
I'll share them with you and suggest a decision. Then you can decide your response.
Decide to focus.
Are you scattered in your approach and thinking? Are you disciplined to stay on task and move yourself and your team in the direction of your goals? Do you know the most important things you and your team need to be doing and thinking about? If you are consciously diligent about your focus, you may not like your answers to those questions.
Decide to trust.
If you want more trust in your working relationships, begin by being more trusting. This doesn't imply blind trust or trusting people to do things they aren't prepared for, but it does imply that trust is a decision. How much trust are you granting to others? Are you happy with this choice?
Decide to set high(er) expectations.
People tend to live up to - or down to - the expectations we have of them. Do your people know what is expected? Are those expectations not only clear, but aspirational? If you want improved performance both of these answers need to be yes.
Decide to lead by example.
People are watching you. They are watching what you say and what you do. The reality is you are already leading by example. The question is - is your example what you really want them to be emulating?
Decide to look for the good.
People grow from encouragement, a focus on their strengths and positive reinforcement. It is hard to share those ideas if you don't see the examples. Are you intentionally looking for what people are doing right?
Decide to create a positive environment.
Environment matters to productivity, job satisfaction, retention, collaboration, creativity and more. As a leader, you set the tone and are the most important regulator of the environment. What environment are you choosing to create?
Decide to engage.
Are you an absentee leader, leaving your team to "do their work"? Do people see you as a part of the team - a caring, participating member? You are not just part of the work product, you must be part of the social fabric of the team.
Decide to start.
Some things that aren't being done won't get started until you go first. That is the role of the leader. What needs to get going? What needs a push? What must you decide to begin?
Decide to stop.
The status quo will continue without your leadership. When did you last consider what no longer needs to be done? When did you last look at the work of your team to determine what work is no longer needed? More personally, what are you doing that is inefficient or counter-productive?
Decide to learn.
Being a continual learner is a choice. Are you pleased with your personal performance? Have you mastered your most important roles and tasks? What else do you want or need to learn? The best leaders are learners. What have you decided is next for your personal growth?
These are not all the subtle decisions available to you as a leader, but they are among the most important.
I challenge you to consider each one individually and make conscious decisions; decisions that will help you be a more effective and successful leader.
About The Author
Kevin is a bestselling author, speaker, trainer, consultant and the Chief Potential Officer of the Kevin Eikenberry Group http://www.KevinEikenberry.com.
The author invites you to visit:
http://www.kevineikenberry.com
Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8736.shtml
Saturday 28 June 2014
How To Set Healthy Boundaries That Contribute To A Healthy, Happy Lifestyle
Have you ever wondered why you work hard in some areas of your life but just don't seem to move forward the way you think you should? Does it sometimes feel to you that your energy is going out - but nothing is coming back. It might very well be that you need to assess your personal boundaries in these areas. It's often necessary to negotiate some difficulties when this happens and this article helps you to face the issues and work through them, step-by- step. The liberation and sense of self-worth you can achieve by doing this is well worth the effort.
Firstly, it's very likely that you may well not always recognise the difference between appropriate and non-appropriate behaviour from others. You may get respect in some areas and not in other areas. you may be willing to tolerate rudeness, pain, abuse of your rights and bad behaviour because that's been the norm for you. It may take a while for you to sift through to your true feelings to start to create a picture of what is good for YOU. You may need time to recognise when something hurts you - or damages your self-esteem: your finances: your family: or your physical self, and that's absolutely fine. The main thing to do, is to start the process and treat it as an on-going effort.
But where do you start? I suggest that you highlight just one area in your life in which you are currently unhappy, angry, exhausted or sad and don't over face yourself by tackling the biggest one to start with unless you are ready for a big change . You need to honestly examine the following factors: -
What is it EXACTLY about the situation that you don't like? (e.g. the way you feel: the consequences of it: the effects on others.)
What is making you feel angry, sad, threatened, suffocated or victimized?
What is it that you get from acting the way you do now? (e.g. avoiding confrontation: maintaining peace: feeling safe: etc.)
What could you say or do differently to change the situation without losing your self-esteem? (e.g. speak up for yourself: respond differently: say "no": say "yes", ask for help)
How could you speak up for yourself in a way that feels safe and respectful.
How could you act in a way that supports you and your needs?
What would you do if you were not scared or tired, and how would you do it in such a way that you do not harm yourself or anyone else (and by harm I do not mean you cannot be angry: By this I mean you need to recognise natural feelings of resentment or spite and avoid using them to manipulate, hurt or deceive in order to set your new boundary).
I suggest you do this at a time when you are not 'triggered' by the situation. Choose a time when you feel calm and have some space to think things through. Writing down your answers, just jotting a few key words even can be very revealing and helpful.
It's also a great idea to find people and groups who you perceive as having the kind of attitudes and behaviours that you would like to have, and to ask for support and ideas. I have found that by sharing some of my "stories" with others I learn a lot. Healthy networks and friends can teach and support you in so many ways, if you are willing to share your issues.
About The Author
Debs de Vries is the U.K.'s leading provider of relaxation and guided imagery downloadable recordings and CDs. Her work in the field of wellness and wellbeing includes coaching, and a membership site to show people how to create wellbeing and wellness in their daily lives, with minimal fuss and maximum benefit. Go to:http://wellbeingsecrets.co.uk now to sign up for free newsletters AND http;//thewellnessaudioshop.co.uk for samples of recordings.
The author invites you to visit: http://thewellnessaudioshop.co.uk
Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8789.shtml
Saturday 21 June 2014
Change Is Inevitable
By Susan Russo
"Change always comes bearing gifts." -Price Pritchett
One of my favorite quotes is: "Pain is inevitable; suffering optional." It's the same with change. It's inevitable that life situations will change and that change may be accompanied by unease and it can be a bit scary stepping out of your comfort zone into the unknown.
Once you begin to accept what has happened, whether you wanted it or not, you then choose how you are going to handle it. There are times where you may even be the one who instigates the change and it still feels as if you are at odds with things.
Obviously when you are the one who wanted the change it's less traumatic to embrace but when you are the one who is left in the lurch so to speak, it can come fraught with a barrage of emotions.
Dealing with what you are left with is like being lost in a forest hoping to see a clearing in the distance. You will get through the thicket one step at a time, just as you will get through your emotional upheaval. But, it's when you refuse to let go of what happened and dwell on what if, if only and why that you remain attached to the situation and you suffer.
Attachment to something, someone or some outcome holds you prisoner when change does show up. Attachment will allow negative thoughts and feelings like regrets, revenge, jealousy, and fear to consume you.
Know that just because things didn't work out the way you wanted them to doesn't mean you can't go on to have a great life regardless of what has happened.
Many times it's a blessing in disguise but you are so absorbed with your pain or fear that you lose focus of the fact that you're still surrounded by many blessings in your life.
The reality is that there isn't anyone on this planet that doesn't experience change in one form or another. So accept that it's inevitable and then be determined to choose a path of dealing with it that will not only serve you well but will allow you to live with peace and happiness just as you were intended to.
We all have the freedom to choose. So, when you choose to take the high road and pick up the pieces of your life, minus all of the emotional garbage you may hold onto, you will not only move on sooner rather than later but you'll have a better journey along the road of life while knowing that if everything really does change, even your pain and fear will change to acceptance and peace.
About The Author
Susan Russo is an author and coach whose work has inspired people from all over the world to take back their power! Would you like to empower yourself to do the same? Discover Susan's 7 Keys to unlock your power by picking up your FREE report at=>
http://www.susan-russo.com
The author invites you to visit: http://www.whystay.com
Article Source:http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8813.shtml
Saturday 14 June 2014
Do You Need an Explanation?
By Susan Russo
"Life is accepting what is and working from that." -Gloria Naylor
When things happen that you don't like and leave you feeling hurt or overwhelmed with some sort of emotional residue don't make it harder on yourself by searching for an explanation. Oh sure, you can go on a seek-and-find mission, but don't turn it into your life's work.
The reality is you may never know. And, there you are wasting more precious time on a toxic person or a toxic situation, just to try and figure out, "why."
Learn how to simplify your life by accepting what's happened and know that you will get beyond it just like everyone else who goes through "stuff" gets over it too. Or, you can hang on and drive yourself crazy trying to figure out why people do what they do and why they are who they are.
When someone violates you on any level, decide how you are going to handle it and move on. Don't try to change them or reason with them, argue with them or force some sort of explanation out of them.
You can attempt to force them to think like you or try and get them to see your side but that can turn into an exercise in futility.
Honor yourself by having boundaries that people can't cross over and plant your feet firmly on the ground so that when something does happen, it may make a dent but you won't crumble.
People have different agendas, aren't on the same page, don't see life the same as you but that doesn't mean you have to change their mind. Instead make up your mind to put it behind you and move on to a better place.
You may not like it, you may not have wanted it and you may not have even seen it coming, but dwelling on it isn't going to change a thing. The only thing you can change is your attitude towards it.
You are the only one who can choose whether you are going to let this eat you alive or chalk it up to a part of life and move on.
So if you really need an explanation here it is: Sometimes things happen that we wish didn't and it's your choice to either hold onto it or let it go. It's that simple. Choose to have a good life no matter what happens.
About The Author
To find out more about how to stop wasting your time and begin living your best life now, go to: http://www.susanrusso.com Susan's work has inspired people from all over the world to take back their power! Learn the secrets in Susan's new book: "The 7 Keys to Unlock the Power Within You."
The author invites you to visit: http://www.whystay.com
Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8855.shtml
When things happen that you don't like and leave you feeling hurt or overwhelmed with some sort of emotional residue don't make it harder on yourself by searching for an explanation. Oh sure, you can go on a seek-and-find mission, but don't turn it into your life's work.
The reality is you may never know. And, there you are wasting more precious time on a toxic person or a toxic situation, just to try and figure out, "why."
Learn how to simplify your life by accepting what's happened and know that you will get beyond it just like everyone else who goes through "stuff" gets over it too. Or, you can hang on and drive yourself crazy trying to figure out why people do what they do and why they are who they are.
When someone violates you on any level, decide how you are going to handle it and move on. Don't try to change them or reason with them, argue with them or force some sort of explanation out of them.
You can attempt to force them to think like you or try and get them to see your side but that can turn into an exercise in futility.
Honor yourself by having boundaries that people can't cross over and plant your feet firmly on the ground so that when something does happen, it may make a dent but you won't crumble.
People have different agendas, aren't on the same page, don't see life the same as you but that doesn't mean you have to change their mind. Instead make up your mind to put it behind you and move on to a better place.
You may not like it, you may not have wanted it and you may not have even seen it coming, but dwelling on it isn't going to change a thing. The only thing you can change is your attitude towards it.
You are the only one who can choose whether you are going to let this eat you alive or chalk it up to a part of life and move on.
So if you really need an explanation here it is: Sometimes things happen that we wish didn't and it's your choice to either hold onto it or let it go. It's that simple. Choose to have a good life no matter what happens.
About The Author
To find out more about how to stop wasting your time and begin living your best life now, go to: http://www.susanrusso.com Susan's work has inspired people from all over the world to take back their power! Learn the secrets in Susan's new book: "The 7 Keys to Unlock the Power Within You."
The author invites you to visit: http://www.whystay.com
Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8855.shtml
Saturday 7 June 2014
The Crack Addict Secret to Success
By Valery Satterwhite
The other day a friend asked me how I help people. I told her, very simply, that I teach people how to crack their world open to reveal thrilling new possibilities and opportunities that they couldn't see before. She laughed and said I encourage people to become Crack Addicts.
HA!
In that context, I do. In fact, it's now replaced Starbucks lattes as my preferred drug of choice.
If you're stuck in the muck of your circumstance its hard to see clearly. You are blind to opportunities because you can't see through the schmutz on you perspective lens. The world is nothing but your perception of it. You see only through yourself. You hear only through the filter of your story. You're closed up in the shell of a tale that limits you.
Here's the thing....
In order to get a clear view of what is really going on you have to get out of your head and into your truth. You have to crack open your perspective to let some light in the shadowy areas that elude you.
When you're overwhelmed or on a path that's not getting you where you want to go chances are you're interfering in your experience. You're adding meaning and interpretation that often isn't based in reality. What you're experiencing is often merely a triggered reaction served up through a misguided belief you hold around an event in your past.
You can't really see where you are and where you can go because, frankly, you're not there! You're stuck in the past somewhere. Even when you're worrying about the future, you're stuck in the past. Future projections tend to be grounded in past experience.
Worry is a negative energy sparked by a negative past experience and catapulted into the future. Excitement is a positive energy fueled by a positive past experience. Invest your energy in what you want instead of what derails you.
You are not your past. Your past is not your truth. It is just an interpretation of your truth. Who you are is the generative force of your personal power. When you feel stressed, overwhelmed or frustrated you have given up your power to what I call the Inner Critic. This fraidy-cat egotistic part of you does not want you to move beyond the comfort zone of your current state even though you may not like it very much. Your Inner Critic wants you to stay right where you are where it is 'safe'.
If you're in the place of not being able to see any light in a daunting experience ask yourself the following question:
"Where is it that I am not stepping into my power, what am I not giving voice to or where am I not moving forward authentically?"
Ask your heart, not your mind, what you want to create or do in that moment. Your heart is the voice of your true self, intuition and inspiration - your truth. Your chatterbox Inner Critic is the voice of your fear and self-doubt.
Which part of you do you choose to hold and direct your power?
Empowerment is about more than just being present. It is about being fully in the truth of that moment. Develop a habit of cracking open your world.
Your opportunities are often hidden in your obstacles. Look for the gifts in the challenges you face. They're there, I promise you.
About The Author
Author, Speaker and Inner Wealth Expert, Valery personally consults with discerning individuals who require bespoke individual attention. She teaches people how to get out of their own way in order to transform inner emotional disconnection into a meaningful inner wealth that matches an affluent lifestyle. Get complimentary eBook:http://www.MoxieTherapy.com
The author invites you to visit: http://www.moxietherapy.com
Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8908.shtml
Thursday 29 May 2014
The Ingredients To Fulfillment
By Amy Twain
During the last five years, there has been increasing proof supporting the relation of fulfillment with life or happiness and being able to utilize and maximize your strengths. Most human beings who feel fulfilled with their life are most likely to be less stressed or harassed, do well at work, have lesser sick days and social or psychological problems.
First and foremost, you need to know what the human brain needs. Gregory Berns, a psychiatrist and neuroscientist at Emory University, believes that to feel satisfied is needed and essential to experience the fulfillment in one's life. In his book, Satisfaction: The Science of Finding True Fulfillment, he declares that being fulfilled necessitates two significant ingredients which nature has shaped our brains to crave: challenge and novelty.
Stress which is connected with a challenge releases the hormone cortisone. In high levels, cortisone can be damaging to the human body both physically and mentally. However, in smaller amounts, it could enhance memory, elevate mood, and increase concentration and focus, making you more effective. While novelty in life gives off the neurotransmitter dopamine which is related to feelings of being happy and well-being.
When these two chemicals mingle and interact, then the stage is set for powerful feelings of being fulfilled. Second, research by doctors Martin Seligman, Nansook Park and Christopher Peterson have discovered that there are five basic character/signature strengths that are constantly and closely associated to satisfaction in life. Moreover, there is conclusive information which points out which strengths or assets are indispensable and the ingredients our brain requires to experience fulfillment.
So, do you possess these key strengths and characteristics?
First and foremost, you need to know what the human brain needs. Gregory Berns, a psychiatrist and neuroscientist at Emory University, believes that to feel satisfied is needed and essential to experience the fulfillment in one's life. In his book, Satisfaction: The Science of Finding True Fulfillment, he declares that being fulfilled necessitates two significant ingredients which nature has shaped our brains to crave: challenge and novelty.
Stress which is connected with a challenge releases the hormone cortisone. In high levels, cortisone can be damaging to the human body both physically and mentally. However, in smaller amounts, it could enhance memory, elevate mood, and increase concentration and focus, making you more effective. While novelty in life gives off the neurotransmitter dopamine which is related to feelings of being happy and well-being.
When these two chemicals mingle and interact, then the stage is set for powerful feelings of being fulfilled. Second, research by doctors Martin Seligman, Nansook Park and Christopher Peterson have discovered that there are five basic character/signature strengths that are constantly and closely associated to satisfaction in life. Moreover, there is conclusive information which points out which strengths or assets are indispensable and the ingredients our brain requires to experience fulfillment.
So, do you possess these key strengths and characteristics?
1. Curiosity: finding topics and subjects intriguing and fascinating; taking a healthy interest in an ongoing and progressive experience and happenings for its own sake; constantly discovering and exploring.
2. Zest: feeling active and alive all over again; living life as a big adventure; approaching life with happy energy and excitement; not doing things halfway or in a halfhearted manner.
3. Gratitude:taking time in expressing thanks; being aware of and grateful for all the blessings and good things that happen.
3. Gratitude:taking time in expressing thanks; being aware of and grateful for all the blessings and good things that happen.
4. Love: simply being close to other people; honoring close relationships, particularly those in which caring and sharing is interchanged.
5. Optimism: expecting and believing the best in what the future will hold.
The great news is, if these strengths are not high on your list, you can develop them. For example, to develop: 1. Curiosity, acquire more information about things you're interested in and be open to ideas. 2. Zest, savor even those momentary pleasures. Do something with more energy and add more creativity in doing it.
3. Gratitude, especially if you're having a tough day, try counting your blessings by writing down three things that you are thankful for or appreciate stating "why". 4. Love, spend more quality time and bonding moments with friends and family. Renew your personal relationships for a stronger bond. 5. Optimism, whenever you are facing a problem or difficulty, stay in the present and be specific about what or who is involved.
Instead of "stewing" on problems, practice "savoring" the simple joys of life.
About The Author
The author of this article,Amy Twain, is a Self Improvement Coach who has been successfully coaching and guiding clients for many years. Let Amy help you find Happiness in Your Work Place. Click here to learn how to become a Happy Worker.
The author invites you to visit: http://www.innerzine.com
Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8925.shtml
The great news is, if these strengths are not high on your list, you can develop them. For example, to develop: 1. Curiosity, acquire more information about things you're interested in and be open to ideas. 2. Zest, savor even those momentary pleasures. Do something with more energy and add more creativity in doing it.
3. Gratitude, especially if you're having a tough day, try counting your blessings by writing down three things that you are thankful for or appreciate stating "why". 4. Love, spend more quality time and bonding moments with friends and family. Renew your personal relationships for a stronger bond. 5. Optimism, whenever you are facing a problem or difficulty, stay in the present and be specific about what or who is involved.
Instead of "stewing" on problems, practice "savoring" the simple joys of life.
About The Author
The author of this article,Amy Twain, is a Self Improvement Coach who has been successfully coaching and guiding clients for many years. Let Amy help you find Happiness in Your Work Place. Click here to learn how to become a Happy Worker.
The author invites you to visit: http://www.innerzine.com
Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8925.shtml
Tuesday 27 May 2014
You Want to be Happy and Successful? Get Mentally Fit
By Willie Horton
How are you going to be up to the not-too-onerous task of getting the very best out of life if you are mentally unfit? Unfortunately, many years of research confirms that the normal mind is not just unfit for effortless living, it has been living on a diet of clapped-out old movies (from your childhood) all of your adult life. It's the ultimate couch potato. And, if, for all of your adult life, you had sat like a lazy slob on a couch, would you really expect to be able to spring from your couch, put on your trainers and go out for even a light jog? You'd kill yourself in the process - and, sadly, that is what normal people are doing - dying to be a success!
However, life is not a light jog - life is more akin to a marathon and, if you don't take the appropriate regular exercise, you will simply not be able to stay the course. The amazing things is, though, if you do bother to take even a little mental exercise, you will suddenly realize that life is not, in fact, a marathon at all - it's only our unfit normal crazy mind that makes it so. In the right state of mind, life is a gentle, enjoyable and effortless stroll in the park. Have you ever experienced the peace and calm of that stroll? Is carefree and effortless living something that you have experienced? If you haven't, it's because you're an unfit mental slob and it's your own fault.
How do you change all that? Does it require massive effort or discipline? Not at all - all that is required is just a little commitment on your part. Believe it or not, it only takes a few minutes each morning to get your head in the right place - perhaps a little longer for a start if you want to give yourself the solid foundation from which you can springboard to effortless living. And ten minutes each morning will change the other twenty three hours and fifty minutes - you simply won't recognise your life.
What exercise am I talking about? Nothing could be simpler - you've just got to re-develop your innate ability to pay attention to reality. At present, as I've already said, your subconscious mind is stuck in a rut. It's obsessed with your past and it uses what it learned during your formative years to make sense of today. The results? Pick up the newspapers, see how so many normal people behave so badly - from domestic violence to wars, from petty theft to the barefaced greed that has all but dismantled the economies of many of the world's so-called developed countries. Look at your own life. Your subconscious mind's efforts to make sense of today lead to anxiety, stress, worry, ill-health, dissatisfaction - the list, in fact, is endless. Letting your subconscious mind run on auto-pilot is making nonsense of your life - you've got to come to your senses.
Research strongly suggests that our ability to be happy, focused, effective and successful is correlated to our ability to pay attention to the here and now. If we leave the running of our lives to our subconscious mind, we end up paying no attention to the here and now and the results are, at best, not-too-bad, at worst, disastrous. I've already said it but bears repeating - you've got to re-train yourself in the simple but powerful art of paying attention. I say 're-train' because, as children, we were experts at it.
What do you need to pay attention to? Not your goals, not the outcomes that you want to achieve - you need to pay attention to the here and now. Nothing else. It is in the here and now that life is lived. Today's actions create tomorrow's 'reality'. What you do today determines whether you succeed or fail. And, at present, your normal mind is pretty much doing nothing other than going through the motions of living. Rather than reacting automatically to what your subconscious mind thinks is going on, you need to take real action in your life. You've got to start taking action for yourself - nobody else will do it for you.
How can you re-learn your innate ability to pay attention? Meditate. Meditation disciplines an otherwise undisciplined mind. Meditation enables you pay attention to what your five senses are telling you. Meditation breaks the link between reality and what your subconscious mind makes up in place of reality. Only meditation can fully clear your mind - and armed with a clear mind you can and will change your life effortlessly. Meditation is the prerequisite to effortless, happy and successful living.
Copyright (c) 2010 Willie Horton
About The Author
Willie Horton is author of 'To Succeed Just Let Go' and founder of Gurdy.Net - the Personal Development Website. Since 1996 he has been helping his many clients change their lives and achieve happiness and success. Clients include top executives in organizations like Pfizer, Deloitte, G4S, Allergan, Diageo and Nestle. Willie lives in the French Alps, with his wife and children, from where he travels the world as a speaker and consultant.
The author invites you to visit: http://www.gurdy.net
Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8948.shtml
How are you going to be up to the not-too-onerous task of getting the very best out of life if you are mentally unfit? Unfortunately, many years of research confirms that the normal mind is not just unfit for effortless living, it has been living on a diet of clapped-out old movies (from your childhood) all of your adult life. It's the ultimate couch potato. And, if, for all of your adult life, you had sat like a lazy slob on a couch, would you really expect to be able to spring from your couch, put on your trainers and go out for even a light jog? You'd kill yourself in the process - and, sadly, that is what normal people are doing - dying to be a success!
However, life is not a light jog - life is more akin to a marathon and, if you don't take the appropriate regular exercise, you will simply not be able to stay the course. The amazing things is, though, if you do bother to take even a little mental exercise, you will suddenly realize that life is not, in fact, a marathon at all - it's only our unfit normal crazy mind that makes it so. In the right state of mind, life is a gentle, enjoyable and effortless stroll in the park. Have you ever experienced the peace and calm of that stroll? Is carefree and effortless living something that you have experienced? If you haven't, it's because you're an unfit mental slob and it's your own fault.
How do you change all that? Does it require massive effort or discipline? Not at all - all that is required is just a little commitment on your part. Believe it or not, it only takes a few minutes each morning to get your head in the right place - perhaps a little longer for a start if you want to give yourself the solid foundation from which you can springboard to effortless living. And ten minutes each morning will change the other twenty three hours and fifty minutes - you simply won't recognise your life.
What exercise am I talking about? Nothing could be simpler - you've just got to re-develop your innate ability to pay attention to reality. At present, as I've already said, your subconscious mind is stuck in a rut. It's obsessed with your past and it uses what it learned during your formative years to make sense of today. The results? Pick up the newspapers, see how so many normal people behave so badly - from domestic violence to wars, from petty theft to the barefaced greed that has all but dismantled the economies of many of the world's so-called developed countries. Look at your own life. Your subconscious mind's efforts to make sense of today lead to anxiety, stress, worry, ill-health, dissatisfaction - the list, in fact, is endless. Letting your subconscious mind run on auto-pilot is making nonsense of your life - you've got to come to your senses.
Research strongly suggests that our ability to be happy, focused, effective and successful is correlated to our ability to pay attention to the here and now. If we leave the running of our lives to our subconscious mind, we end up paying no attention to the here and now and the results are, at best, not-too-bad, at worst, disastrous. I've already said it but bears repeating - you've got to re-train yourself in the simple but powerful art of paying attention. I say 're-train' because, as children, we were experts at it.
What do you need to pay attention to? Not your goals, not the outcomes that you want to achieve - you need to pay attention to the here and now. Nothing else. It is in the here and now that life is lived. Today's actions create tomorrow's 'reality'. What you do today determines whether you succeed or fail. And, at present, your normal mind is pretty much doing nothing other than going through the motions of living. Rather than reacting automatically to what your subconscious mind thinks is going on, you need to take real action in your life. You've got to start taking action for yourself - nobody else will do it for you.
How can you re-learn your innate ability to pay attention? Meditate. Meditation disciplines an otherwise undisciplined mind. Meditation enables you pay attention to what your five senses are telling you. Meditation breaks the link between reality and what your subconscious mind makes up in place of reality. Only meditation can fully clear your mind - and armed with a clear mind you can and will change your life effortlessly. Meditation is the prerequisite to effortless, happy and successful living.
Copyright (c) 2010 Willie Horton
About The Author
Willie Horton is author of 'To Succeed Just Let Go' and founder of Gurdy.Net - the Personal Development Website. Since 1996 he has been helping his many clients change their lives and achieve happiness and success. Clients include top executives in organizations like Pfizer, Deloitte, G4S, Allergan, Diageo and Nestle. Willie lives in the French Alps, with his wife and children, from where he travels the world as a speaker and consultant.
The author invites you to visit: http://www.gurdy.net
Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8948.shtml
Saturday 24 May 2014
7 Persuasion Tactics To Influence Anyone In The Most Effective Manner
By Michael Lee
It's easy to influence anyone if you know the right persuasion tactics to use. Here's a list of 7 powerful techniques to get the most out of your persuasion efforts.
Persuasion Tactic # 1: Start your discussion on the right track.
One of the biggest mistakes people make in persuasion is that they start talking about a topic or situation that the other person is not yet aware or familiar with.
I have a friend who often dives into the middle of a story or subject, which leaves me (and I assume many other people) clueless on what he's talking about. It's important to start your discussion on a point that people can relate to, preferably from the very beginning, unless you're sure that they already know the foundation of the topic of discussion.
Persuasion Tactic # 2: Be crystal clear in imparting your message.
When you say, 'He's mad' do you mean he's angry or do you mean he's crazy? Whenever you're going to say or write something that is vague or may lead to miscommunication, it's highly recommended that you change the words in a way that imparts a clear message.
Persuasion Tactic # 3: Give them a summary or an overall glimpse of the big picture.
This is vital when talking about something that takes a little (or a lot more) time to comprehend. This way, they can better relate the discussion to the big picture and 'absorb' what you're saying.
Persuasion Tactic # 4: Stay humble.
Never brag or be arrogant because it's a big turn-off. The other party may think (in his own mind) that he's better than you, and you'll just bruise his ego.
You may even feign to not know things you may already be aware of, if it would give you an edge in persuading him. Give him the impression that you are an ally, and not in competition with him.
Persuasion Tactic # 5: Pay attention to what is being said instead of thinking what you'll say next.
This may be a little difficult for you to do initially. That's why it is critical to practice & enhance your persuasion skills until it becomes a part of you. When listening, don't interrupt while they're talking. Wait a second or two before you speak. Avoid changing subjects because this indicates your disinterest.
Persuasion Tactic # 6: Choose the right time.
When they're not in the mood or when they're pressed with time, your persuasion efforts may just fall into deaf ears because they will not give you attention.
Ask first if you can have a few minutes of their time. If they say it's not a good time, ask for a time that fits their schedule.
Persuasion Tactic # 7: Never disrespect anyone.
Watch out for the body signals that you are giving away. You might be pouting your lips, breathing heavily, shaking your head, or rolling your eyes without you being aware that you're offending others.
Watch your language too. If saying 'Whatever' 'Oh brother,' or 'Yeah right' is part of your lingo, practice taking them out of your vocabulary.
Practice and apply these 7 persuasion tactics, and you'll be able to influence people faster than anyone else.
About The Author
Want to easily persuade anyone to do anything? Use subliminal persuasion techniques to put people under your control (without them knowing it)! Get a FREE course that reveals some of the most groundbreaking mind control techniques and persuasion secrets at http://www.20daypersuasion.com/secrets.htm
The author invites you to visit:
http://www.20daypersuasion.com
Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_9008.shtml
Thursday 22 May 2014
The Happiness Choice
By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
"Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us."
--Stephen R. Covey,? Author and Speaker
This is a powerful freedom. And, from my point of view, another way of putting this is that the ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide our own intent:
* To protect against pain with our controlling behavior
* To learn about what is loving to ourselves and others
When our intent is to learn about love, that is when we get to decide how others will affect us.
If my intent is to control how other people feel about me, then if they don't like me, I will be upset. I may feel rejected or unworthy. I've made them responsible for my sense of worth, which then means that I have to try to control how they feel about me by being perfect, being nice, doing things right, saying the right thing, looking right, performing right, and so on. This is a very hard way to live!
When my intent is to be loving to myself, then I don't make others responsible for me sense of worth. Instead, I define my essential worth - not by my looks or performance - but by my essential qualities of compassion, loving kindness, caring, understanding, creativity, perseverance, basic goodness, and so on. I learn to define myself, not by my programmed ego wounded mind, but through the eyes of my higher self. If someone doesn't like me, I don't take this personally, since I accept that I have no control over who they are or how they feel, and it is not loving to me to take their behavior personally.
When my focus is on loving myself and sharing my love with others, I behave in ways that bring me joy. While painful outside events can momentarily affect me, when my intent is to be loving to myself, I quickly move into compassion for my own feelings, bringing in the comfort of Spirit to help me move through the loneliness, heartache, heartbreak, grief, sorrow, or sadness of a situation.
This all depends on who I give authority to - my personal source of spiritual guidance, or others and events. When I give authority to others and events, then I become a victim of others and circumstances. When I give authority to my personal source of spiritual guidance, I always have access to a source of truth, peace, and joy.
MY HAPPINESS OR MISERY IS MY CHOICE, AND IT DEPENDS ENTIRELY ON MY INTENT - WHICH IS MY ULTIMATE FREE-WILL CHOICE.
The moment my intent is to control that which I cannot control, or that which is unloving toward myself, others, or the planet to control, I will create my misery. Whether I try to control my pain with various addictions to substances or processes, or I try to control my feelings by getting others approval, or I try to control others and outcomes by acting in ways that are not in integrity with that which is loving to myself and others, I will make myself unhappy. Operating from a belief that the end justifies the means will never bring me joy.
The moment my intent is to be loving to myself and others, then I will treat myself, others and the planet in ways that are in alignment with what is in my highest good and the highest good of all. Loving behavior toward myself and others always brings a deep inner sense of joy.
When you choose the intent to learn about loving yourself and others, you move yourself into personal power, integrity, and connection with the Source of wisdom, truth, and joy.
About The Author
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding process - featured on Oprah. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com/welcome and visit our website athttp://www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!
The author invites you to visit: http://www.innerbonding.com
Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8990.shtml
--Stephen R. Covey,? Author and Speaker
This is a powerful freedom. And, from my point of view, another way of putting this is that the ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide our own intent:
* To protect against pain with our controlling behavior
* To learn about what is loving to ourselves and others
When our intent is to learn about love, that is when we get to decide how others will affect us.
If my intent is to control how other people feel about me, then if they don't like me, I will be upset. I may feel rejected or unworthy. I've made them responsible for my sense of worth, which then means that I have to try to control how they feel about me by being perfect, being nice, doing things right, saying the right thing, looking right, performing right, and so on. This is a very hard way to live!
When my intent is to be loving to myself, then I don't make others responsible for me sense of worth. Instead, I define my essential worth - not by my looks or performance - but by my essential qualities of compassion, loving kindness, caring, understanding, creativity, perseverance, basic goodness, and so on. I learn to define myself, not by my programmed ego wounded mind, but through the eyes of my higher self. If someone doesn't like me, I don't take this personally, since I accept that I have no control over who they are or how they feel, and it is not loving to me to take their behavior personally.
When my focus is on loving myself and sharing my love with others, I behave in ways that bring me joy. While painful outside events can momentarily affect me, when my intent is to be loving to myself, I quickly move into compassion for my own feelings, bringing in the comfort of Spirit to help me move through the loneliness, heartache, heartbreak, grief, sorrow, or sadness of a situation.
This all depends on who I give authority to - my personal source of spiritual guidance, or others and events. When I give authority to others and events, then I become a victim of others and circumstances. When I give authority to my personal source of spiritual guidance, I always have access to a source of truth, peace, and joy.
MY HAPPINESS OR MISERY IS MY CHOICE, AND IT DEPENDS ENTIRELY ON MY INTENT - WHICH IS MY ULTIMATE FREE-WILL CHOICE.
The moment my intent is to control that which I cannot control, or that which is unloving toward myself, others, or the planet to control, I will create my misery. Whether I try to control my pain with various addictions to substances or processes, or I try to control my feelings by getting others approval, or I try to control others and outcomes by acting in ways that are not in integrity with that which is loving to myself and others, I will make myself unhappy. Operating from a belief that the end justifies the means will never bring me joy.
The moment my intent is to be loving to myself and others, then I will treat myself, others and the planet in ways that are in alignment with what is in my highest good and the highest good of all. Loving behavior toward myself and others always brings a deep inner sense of joy.
When you choose the intent to learn about loving yourself and others, you move yourself into personal power, integrity, and connection with the Source of wisdom, truth, and joy.
About The Author
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding process - featured on Oprah. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com/welcome and visit our website athttp://www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!
The author invites you to visit: http://www.innerbonding.com
Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8990.shtml
Tuesday 20 May 2014
No Goals, No Go
By Andy Grant
One of my favorite conversation-starter questions to ask people is "What are your goals?" The answer can tell a great deal about a person.
Nearly every time, there's something in common among those who feel stuck in their current situation, unhappy with one or more aspect of their life, and feeling as though they are going nowhere: they have no goals.
In some cases, it's simply a case of not understanding the power and presence that goals provide (and in these cases, simple instruction is the answer). Goal setting is a breeze once you understand how to do it.
With other folks, they may understand the power of goals, but they simply haven't taken the time or effort to set any (or to update their last batch of goals). It's important to set new goals as soon as you achieve your goals, otherwise you can lose momentum.
Other folks claim to be "going with the flow" (which often means drifting, going nowhere) and waiting for inspiration to strike.
The trouble with that approach is: inspiration typically doesn't appear until you become crystal clear about what you want.
Writers get blocked when they stare at a blank page, waiting for something to come. Writers can easily be inspired by imagining the end result of their writing (whether it's increased sales thanks to effective ad copy, or an emotional reaction elicited by a short story).
A person without a vision is like a ship afloat on the ocean. Sure, it might be a fun ride, you may get to relax a bit, but next thing you know, a couple of months have passed and you're now running out of rations, clean water, sunscreen and sanity.
But a ship with a destination in mind travels with passion AND purpose, and becomes unstoppable. When you have clear, concise goals, the Universe can then deliver exactly the clues you require to follow your course and reach your destination.
Don't wait on inspiration -- because inspiration is waiting on you, right now at this very moment.
Create a vision. Invoke your passion. Ask for a sign. You will get one.
But if you don't select a destination, don't be surprised if you just keep drifting in limbo -- and then you have no right to whine about how "nothing is happening" because that part was ultimately up to you --- and you never chose a destination!
Be brave, be daring, be confident, and have faith. Whatever you ask for, YOU CAN HAVE.
Go for it!
About The Author
For more than a decade, Andy Grant and Amy Scott Grant have been empowering people around the globe to break free from their limiting beliefs, doubts, blocks and fears. To work directly with Andy & Amy in an enterprise that combines making money with making a difference, visit http://InspiringFreedom.com
The author invites you to visit: http://InspiringFreedom.com
Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8933.shtml
Nearly every time, there's something in common among those who feel stuck in their current situation, unhappy with one or more aspect of their life, and feeling as though they are going nowhere: they have no goals.
In some cases, it's simply a case of not understanding the power and presence that goals provide (and in these cases, simple instruction is the answer). Goal setting is a breeze once you understand how to do it.
With other folks, they may understand the power of goals, but they simply haven't taken the time or effort to set any (or to update their last batch of goals). It's important to set new goals as soon as you achieve your goals, otherwise you can lose momentum.
Other folks claim to be "going with the flow" (which often means drifting, going nowhere) and waiting for inspiration to strike.
The trouble with that approach is: inspiration typically doesn't appear until you become crystal clear about what you want.
Writers get blocked when they stare at a blank page, waiting for something to come. Writers can easily be inspired by imagining the end result of their writing (whether it's increased sales thanks to effective ad copy, or an emotional reaction elicited by a short story).
A person without a vision is like a ship afloat on the ocean. Sure, it might be a fun ride, you may get to relax a bit, but next thing you know, a couple of months have passed and you're now running out of rations, clean water, sunscreen and sanity.
But a ship with a destination in mind travels with passion AND purpose, and becomes unstoppable. When you have clear, concise goals, the Universe can then deliver exactly the clues you require to follow your course and reach your destination.
Don't wait on inspiration -- because inspiration is waiting on you, right now at this very moment.
Create a vision. Invoke your passion. Ask for a sign. You will get one.
But if you don't select a destination, don't be surprised if you just keep drifting in limbo -- and then you have no right to whine about how "nothing is happening" because that part was ultimately up to you --- and you never chose a destination!
Be brave, be daring, be confident, and have faith. Whatever you ask for, YOU CAN HAVE.
Go for it!
About The Author
For more than a decade, Andy Grant and Amy Scott Grant have been empowering people around the globe to break free from their limiting beliefs, doubts, blocks and fears. To work directly with Andy & Amy in an enterprise that combines making money with making a difference, visit http://InspiringFreedom.com
The author invites you to visit: http://InspiringFreedom.com
Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8933.shtml
Saturday 17 May 2014
I Just Want to be Understood
By: Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
Seek first to understand and then to be understood." - Stephen Covey
How often have you heard yourself say:
"I just want someone to understand me."
"I just want to be heard."
"I feel invisible."
"I just want to be seen."
I know what it feels like to not be understood, heard, or seen, as I spent most of the first 45 years of my life feeling invisible.
It feels terrible.
By that time I had learned to do what Stephen Covey recommends. I was very good at understanding others, but I still didn't feel understood by them.
It only took me 45 years to understand that what was really happening is that I wasn't seeing, hearing, or understanding myself, and the people in my life were reflecting my own inner system. I had worked so hard to hear and understand others that I had completely forgotten to hear and understand my own feelings and needs. I fully believed that since I was good at hearing and seeing and understanding others, they should do the same for me.
That never happened until I learned to see, hear, understand, and value my own feelings and needs.
It wasn't easy to start to listen inside. I was so focused on others' feelings and needs that I was completely out of touch with my own. And I had to come to grips with the fact that my listening and hearing and understanding others had an agenda attached. It wasn't coming from love but from neediness - I NEEDED them to listen to and understand me because I was completely abandoning myself.
Today, many years later, life is completely different. Sure, I love it when someone hears me and sees me and understands me - but now it's the icing on the cake, not the cake itself. Now I can listen to others from my heart and truly see and understand them because I don't need anything from them.
I don't need anything from them because the little girl in me feels me with her all the time - listening to my feelings, taking loving action in my own behalf, learning about what my inner child needs from me as a loving adult - a loving inner parent. Because the child in me - my feeling self - feels seen and heard and valued and understood by me, I can offer my caring and understanding to others from a full heart.
This is the inner work that we all need to do if we ever want to experience the wonderful feeling that comes from being truly seen and valued.
The thing that was in the way for me is that I always believed being seen and understood by others is what was truly important and fulfilling. Before practicing Inner Bonding, I had never experienced the profound joy of seeing, hearing and understanding myself. I could not even conceive of it feeling better than being understood by someone else. After all, wasn't my value, as the wizard said to the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz, not in how much I loved, but in how much I was loved by others? (The typical false belief of a narcissist!)
Now, I still love to be understood by others, but I don't NEED to be understood by them to feel worthy and full within. Now, when someone important to me doesn't listen or see or care or understand, I can fully and compassionately understand and care about the loneliness and heartache my inner child might feel, without taking their behavior personally. Seeing, caring about and understanding myself is profoundly powerful and fulfilling.
About The Author
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding� process - featured on Oprah. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com/welcome and visit our website at http://www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!
The author invites you to visit: http://www.innerbonding.com
Article Source:http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_9075.shtml
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