The Healing Power of Love and Good Relationships

By Roseanna Leaton

You know what it feels like when love is first blossoming; you find that it is almost impossible to not smile, you feel as if you are walking on air and you wake up early each day feeling fantastic. To be in love feels good. Having close relationships and intimate ties to other human beings is not only good for our mental and emotional health; it is also good for our physical health as well.

This is a fact which nobody can deny; there is too much evidence which proves the point. There have been many different types of studies conducted, in communities all over the world which indicate the healing powers of love and friendship.

One study which is often cited relates to the town of Roseto in Pennsylvania, which was up until relatively recently inhabited by immigrants from a small town in Southern Italy. This community of Italian-Americans in Roseto remained very close in terms of family ties and traditions, maintaining their cultural values and religious beliefs through several generations. The inhabitants of this small town experienced significantly less heart disease than in either of the two similar sized neighboring tons. They also lived significantly longer.

When scientists began researching the Roseto phenomenon they could not find anything significantly different in terms of diet, exercise or work which could account for this community's good health. The only thing which was different was their social cohesion and supportiveness. Researchers began to suspect that it was Roseto's stable structure which could have protected the inhabitants from heart disease and also led to longevity.

These suspicions turned out to be well-founded, as was evidenced by the dramatic increase in heart disease in the 1960's and 1970's as the previously close and cohesive community began to fragment and become more isolated. Many different studies have ensued and each supports the basic belief that when we feel isolated or unsupported, our health is endangered. By contrast, when we are involved either in an intimate and loving relationship, or in a supportive community our health tends to be a whole lot better.

The thing to bear in mind is that it does not matter what type of supportive relationship you are involved in, so long as it provides you with a feeling of being cared for. For some people their religion is what provides them with this feeling, this perception of being part of something bigger and being cared for as an integral part of that community. For some this may take the form of going to church and being an active part of a church group; for others it may be a perception of our spiritual nature which provides a feeling of cohesion and connectedness.

Everyone is different in how they perceive their world and a major key to good health is to feel cohesion and connectedness. Many people may on the face of things live a life with lots of support, family and friends around them, but they might still feel a sense of isolation, and this feeling is one of the strongest predictors of heart disease. It is a matter instinctive importance to the human soul to feel supported as opposed to isolated. Yet it is not what is happening around you that matters so much as how you feel about it. One person may be alone, bur feel spiritually connected, whilst another could be surrounded by many and still feel alone.

I am reminded of a quote by Viktor Frankl which loosely runs along the lines of "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing; his ability to choose his thoughts in any set of circumstances". This quote is very empowering. This gentleman very elegantly describes how we do in fact choose our thoughts and it follows that we can change our thoughts should we wish to do so. If for any reason you are feeling isolated or alone, you can change this feeling. It may take a little effort on your part, but never the less, you can change how you feel, and you will find that hypnosis mp3 downloads are very helpful in your desire to feel a greater sense of well-being.

This is a huge topic and I am only scratching the surface here. The risk factors predicted by a sense of isolation do not just relate to heart disease and an earlier death. The whole spectrum of disease comes into play.

In a community where social cohesion has been left behind, it is important to seek new ways in which to provide yourself with a feeling of togetherness and support, to encourage the belief and understanding that you are not alone. A journey into spirituality may be just what you need.





Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis mp3 downloads for health and well-being.
http://www.RoseannaLeaton.com


About The Author
With a degree in psychology and qualifications in hypnotherapy, NLP and sports psychology, Roseanna Leaton is one of the leading practitioners of self-improvement. You can get a free hypnosis download from http://www.RoseannaLeaton.com and peruse her extensive library of hypnosis downloads for success, health and well being.


 The author invites you to visit: http://www.roseannaleaton.com


Article Source:http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_7077.shtml

Dealing With Loneliness

By Susan Russo

"Loneliness is the poverty of self." - May Sarton

One of the toughest hurdles to overcome when a relationship ends is dealing with the gnawing loneliness that seems to take over your life and the fear that it will never end. These feelings are heightened when you are alone and it feels as if you are being haunted by them. Losing someone we love is one of the most difficult situations to deal with but, you can and you will get beyond this even though you may believe you won't.

There are several things you can do to help get beyond the sadness and pain of a break up or divorce. First, understand that grieving is a process and one that we all go through even though we wish we didn't have to. There are stages of grieving and the initial stages are the hardest to deal with because the pain is so raw. And worse yet, you may even believe this will destroy you, but rest assured you will survive.

Day by day you will become stronger and the pain will begin to subside. These heart wrenching feelings will pass and you will begin to feel like your old self again. But you have to allow yourself the time to heal. Imagine if you broke your leg. You may not want to deal with the whole healing process but there is no way out of it. Your leg will not heal overnight. It will take time and it will also help when you make smart choices so you don't lengthen the process.

The main thing you want to do is keep yourself as busy as possible. Surround yourself with family and friends; they will be your lifeline in your healing. You need them to lean on, to talk to and to walk you through this; and those who really love you won't mind at all.

Do the things you love that you stopped doing when you were in the relationship. So often people meet someone and they abandon their old hobbies and habits. Go out and recapture your interests or learn how to do something you've always wanted to but never made the time for. Go to the movies, go on a vacation, go and volunteer, go and exercise. Just go, go, go even when you feel like you don't want to do a thing.

Exercise is a big healing factor. It is one of the most beneficial things you can do to help you jump over this hurdle. The benefits of exercise far exceed almost any other good thing you can do for yourself. It releases hormones that will actually elevate your mood, plus a plethora of other incredible reasons from a health standpoint and a self esteem standpoint as well.

When you find yourself dwelling on the past and all of the whys, how did this happen, I will never meet anyone again, I can't get over this, I miss them so much and all of the other obsessively depressing thoughts, you have to begin to tell yourself the truth. You will get over this, you will have a good life again, you will laugh and love again and you will do this when you begin to put the past behind you, accept what has happened and start looking forward.

The bottom line is that loneliness is a side effect of ending a relationship. When you are used to sharing your life with someone on all levels and they are suddenly gone, how do you think you are going to feel? Of course you will feel devastated that's normal. But in time those feelings will be replaced with the realization that life really does go on and it will be a great life when you start to believe it will be.






About The Author
Susan Russo has written one of the top breakup books on the market. Her direct approach is a wake up call for anyone who is stuck in the letting go process. How would you like to move beyond the pain and start to feel like a human again? Find out how to by starting with Susan's FREE mini report on how to heal your pain at http://www.whystay.com

The author invites you to visit: http://www.whystay.com


Article Source:http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_9168.shtml

A Personal Fairy Tale

By: James Kyle

Once upon a time in a country far far away, there was once a new born baby tree. The infant tree cherished the newness and richness of life. A life full of first time experiences. He delighted in the refreshing sensation of sap rising through his veins, the rustling tingle of a breeze in his branches, and, most of all, the crackling of his leaves as they reached up to catch the nurturing sun. Every morning he thanked the sun for his nurturing love. The tree, caressed by the sunbeams, lived each moment of the day in a spirit of joy. At night, when he went to sleep, he knew his dependable friend would show up the next morning ready to share his infinite gift of light once more. Many days and nights passed. The tree continued to be very very happy. 

One morning, however, the tree woke up in the middle of a dream. He had been dreaming that his friend, the sun, had abandoned him. The tree, shivering at the thought, looked up to greet his friend in the sky. His friend had risen before him as always. But today, he seemed more distant, less available somehow.

More days and nights passed. With each passing day the tree began to fear more and more that the warming comforting rays of the sun could no longer be relied upon. The tree began to feel colder and colder. The tree realized that his terrible dream was coming true. The sun had decided to abandon him.

As the cold season took its grip, he resigned himself to the fact that the once nurturing sun had turned his back on him. His feelings of abandonment turned to despair as his leaves, his beautiful leaves, lost their vibrant color, and, one by one, began to fall off. Time passed. All his leaves were gone. Winter had arrived.

The tree passed the winter mourning his loss.

Eventually the cold season came to an end, and, at last, the sun once more dominated the sky. However it was now a different sun. A sun that could not be trusted. Even when the sun began to shine brightly, the tree knew that betrayal was to be expected. It came as no surprise when, several months later, the sun turned his back on him once more. The tree began to feel very very sorry for himself.

The seasons passed. The tree grew taller. For the first time he noticed, in the valley below, a forest of trees. He looked around the small hill he stood on and suddenly realized how isolated he was. The trees in the valley seemed so alive, their branches swaying in harmony in the breeze. On the ground, squirrels and chipmunks were playing games of endless tag. In the air, birds were singing, and flying back and forward, building nests in their favorite trees. The tree looked at the rocks who were his only companions and sighed. The rocks, who rarely spoke, made no comment. The tree felt very lonely and depressed. He fell ill.

Time passed. The tree felt more and more abandoned. Birds and animals who might have been attracted to the growing tree avoided him all together because he was no fun to be with. All around the tree was a depressing silence.

Never ending silence had replaced never ending joy. How could this have happened? How can I be happy once more? What can I do to end this isolation? The tree lost in his own self pity paid no attention to the world around him. So it was with a start that he realized that someone was standing in front of him. He had not noticed anyone approaching. The wizard, for that’s who he was, began to talk gently to the tree. But the tree, used to his isolation, cowered inside himself not listening at all. The wizard, with compassion and understanding, completed what he had to say, smiled, and moved on.

More seasons came and went. The wizard visited once more. This time the tree was so desperately lonely that he was determined to listen to the wise man. He did so, but could not understand the meaning of his words. The wizard finished with a smile, and some final words of encouragement, and went on his way. The tree was confused and forlorn. He pleaded to the rocks, “Rocks, rocks, what am I to do?” The rocks said nothing at first but then in a quiet deep voice one spoke out, “The wizard is offering you his love. Do not concern yourself with the words, just accept the love and let it grow inside you.” And then there was silence again on the hillside.

But something had changed.

When the wizard came again the tree remembered the rock’s advice and, looking at the wizard, was surprised to see how easy it was to see the love. One only had to look. The wizard stopped talking, but the conversation continued. The tree grew strong inside. Night came and the tree fell asleep.

The next morning the wizard had left. But then again, he hadn’t really gone. The tree realized that a part of the wizard was still alive, inside him. And so it came to pass that the tree stopped looking for others to nurture him.

As each day passed the tree became healthier and healthier. Small buds started forming on his branches which became beautiful fruit that was the tree’s gift to his new friends. Because of course, as the tree once more connected with the joy of life, different animals came to the hill to play, and many birds came to build nests in his branches.

The tree sat on his hill contentedly. He watched the squirrels play games in his shade. He listened to the birds sing beautiful songs. He felt joy as he shared his fruit with his new companions. As he sat in the sun nurturing his new found friends, he looked down at the trees in the valley below and, suddenly, he understood. He realized that, of course, he was part of the forest. But he had been given an extra gift, an extra blessing: he had been given a bit more space to expand and grow.

And it should come as no surprise to you that the wizard, on another journey far far away, chose that moment to stop and smile, before continuing on his way.