Tuesday, 6 May 2014

Dealing With Loneliness

By Susan Russo

"Loneliness is the poverty of self." - May Sarton

One of the toughest hurdles to overcome when a relationship ends is dealing with the gnawing loneliness that seems to take over your life and the fear that it will never end. These feelings are heightened when you are alone and it feels as if you are being haunted by them. Losing someone we love is one of the most difficult situations to deal with but, you can and you will get beyond this even though you may believe you won't.

There are several things you can do to help get beyond the sadness and pain of a break up or divorce. First, understand that grieving is a process and one that we all go through even though we wish we didn't have to. There are stages of grieving and the initial stages are the hardest to deal with because the pain is so raw. And worse yet, you may even believe this will destroy you, but rest assured you will survive.

Day by day you will become stronger and the pain will begin to subside. These heart wrenching feelings will pass and you will begin to feel like your old self again. But you have to allow yourself the time to heal. Imagine if you broke your leg. You may not want to deal with the whole healing process but there is no way out of it. Your leg will not heal overnight. It will take time and it will also help when you make smart choices so you don't lengthen the process.

The main thing you want to do is keep yourself as busy as possible. Surround yourself with family and friends; they will be your lifeline in your healing. You need them to lean on, to talk to and to walk you through this; and those who really love you won't mind at all.

Do the things you love that you stopped doing when you were in the relationship. So often people meet someone and they abandon their old hobbies and habits. Go out and recapture your interests or learn how to do something you've always wanted to but never made the time for. Go to the movies, go on a vacation, go and volunteer, go and exercise. Just go, go, go even when you feel like you don't want to do a thing.

Exercise is a big healing factor. It is one of the most beneficial things you can do to help you jump over this hurdle. The benefits of exercise far exceed almost any other good thing you can do for yourself. It releases hormones that will actually elevate your mood, plus a plethora of other incredible reasons from a health standpoint and a self esteem standpoint as well.

When you find yourself dwelling on the past and all of the whys, how did this happen, I will never meet anyone again, I can't get over this, I miss them so much and all of the other obsessively depressing thoughts, you have to begin to tell yourself the truth. You will get over this, you will have a good life again, you will laugh and love again and you will do this when you begin to put the past behind you, accept what has happened and start looking forward.

The bottom line is that loneliness is a side effect of ending a relationship. When you are used to sharing your life with someone on all levels and they are suddenly gone, how do you think you are going to feel? Of course you will feel devastated that's normal. But in time those feelings will be replaced with the realization that life really does go on and it will be a great life when you start to believe it will be.

About The Author
Susan Russo has written one of the top breakup books on the market. Her direct approach is a wake up call for anyone who is stuck in the letting go process. How would you like to move beyond the pain and start to feel like a human again? Find out how to by starting with Susan's FREE mini report on how to heal your pain at

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