The Crack Addict Secret to Success

By Valery Satterwhite


The other day a friend asked me how I help people. I told her, very simply, that I teach people how to crack their world open to reveal thrilling new possibilities and opportunities that they couldn't see before. She laughed and said I encourage people to become Crack Addicts.

HA!

In that context, I do. In fact, it's now replaced Starbucks lattes as my preferred drug of choice.

If you're stuck in the muck of your circumstance its hard to see clearly. You are blind to opportunities because you can't see through the schmutz on you perspective lens. The world is nothing but your perception of it. You see only through yourself. You hear only through the filter of your story. You're closed up in the shell of a tale that limits you.

Here's the thing....

In order to get a clear view of what is really going on you have to get out of your head and into your truth. You have to crack open your perspective to let some light in the shadowy areas that elude you.

When you're overwhelmed or on a path that's not getting you where you want to go chances are you're interfering in your experience. You're adding meaning and interpretation that often isn't based in reality. What you're experiencing is often merely a triggered reaction served up through a misguided belief you hold around an event in your past.

You can't really see where you are and where you can go because, frankly, you're not there! You're stuck in the past somewhere. Even when you're worrying about the future, you're stuck in the past. Future projections tend to be grounded in past experience.

Worry is a negative energy sparked by a negative past experience and catapulted into the future. Excitement is a positive energy fueled by a positive past experience. Invest your energy in what you want instead of what derails you.

You are not your past. Your past is not your truth. It is just an interpretation of your truth. Who you are is the generative force of your personal power. When you feel stressed, overwhelmed or frustrated you have given up your power to what I call the Inner Critic. This fraidy-cat egotistic part of you does not want you to move beyond the comfort zone of your current state even though you may not like it very much. Your Inner Critic wants you to stay right where you are where it is 'safe'.

If you're in the place of not being able to see any light in a daunting experience ask yourself the following question:

"Where is it that I am not stepping into my power, what am I not giving voice to or where am I not moving forward authentically?"

Ask your heart, not your mind, what you want to create or do in that moment. Your heart is the voice of your true self, intuition and inspiration - your truth. Your chatterbox Inner Critic is the voice of your fear and self-doubt.

Which part of you do you choose to hold and direct your power?

Empowerment is about more than just being present. It is about being fully in the truth of that moment. Develop a habit of cracking open your world.

Your opportunities are often hidden in your obstacles. Look for the gifts in the challenges you face. They're there, I promise you.



About The Author
Author, Speaker and Inner Wealth Expert, Valery personally consults with discerning individuals who require bespoke individual attention. She teaches people how to get out of their own way in order to transform inner emotional disconnection into a meaningful inner wealth that matches an affluent lifestyle. Get complimentary eBook:http://www.MoxieTherapy.com

The author invites you to visit: http://www.moxietherapy.com


Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8908.shtml

Tony Robbins on Being Ready for a Relationship

By the way, for those of you who live in the UK Tony Robbins is coming to London in March 2014

How do You Want to Play Your “Authentic Being” Game?

By: Nat Smith


It appears that there are different levels of Authenticity that you can live at. All as true and authentic as another, but different levels in which we can play our “authentic being” game here.

Some people are focused on living authentically as far as saying what they feel, doing things they love and are true for them, spending time with people they chose, and basically not putting on any front to different people, instead just being completely themselves in all situations.

However on another level, as I have observed, there is also authentic living from the infinite viewpoint… seeing that the human self is essentially the Egoic self, but underneath there also exists a ‘Real Self’; the Self that is consciousness itself and upon recognition of this, you choose to live from this perspective.

From this perspective you are nothing more than the witnessing of life that takes place through the body. You realise you are not your body; You are the pure authentic consciousness that moves through it.

This is certainly my take and focus on authentic living in recent years. Not to discount the absolute importance of speaking your truth, doing what you love and having genuine connections with people; but I see this more as what I would naturally be drawn to doing when I really live my truth as consciousness itself moving through this human form.

When I live from my truth that I am consciousness and that the entire outside world is purely my reflection, then there is no possibility of feeling the fear of judgment from others about how I live. It is only when the ego kicks in that I can possibly get tripped up and start going back into my head, telling myself stories of what I ‘think’ is happening.

I am in the process of rereading ‘A New Earth’ by Eckhart Tolle. An incredible book that dives into the ego and how it manifests in the individual and collective mind of us all.

In it, Eckhart brilliantly describes that all your thoughts, emotions, judgments, illnesses and suffering in life, are not You. They are games the ego plays with you, pretending to be you.

He goes on to say that your ‘true self’ sits beyond all of the human and worldly form, and has simply been covered up by the egoic mind, and the sense of ‘I’ that exists within our world. He states that it is the ‘I’ - the desire to make everything about ourselves and take it all so personally, that causes every bit of our suffering here on earth.

This is certainly my finding in my own life experience over the past decade, and it certainly is the findings of many of the people I share my journey with; that by making everything that happens in this world personal, through the sense of ‘I, me and mine’ I suffer non stop. As soon as I recognise that I am just presence in this moment and that the sense of ‘I’ is simply my ego (my mind) wanting to gain control, the pain stops.

As soon as I see that the human game here is just that, a human game, and if I see that I am an infinite spiritual being come into form to have an experience here… to express myself, create and explore this wondrous world that I have created for myself, then suddenly my whole world opens up and I am free to be ME. Free of the mind that tells me I am limited, and free of my thoughts and judgments that my world is anything less than perfect.

Now there’s some authenticity worth playing with!




About the Author: Nat Smith is an author, mentor and the co-Publisher of ‘Into-Me-I-See’ Digital Magazine, facilitating the collaboration of many of the world’s leading Conscious Wayseers to share their wisdom and raw life experiences. Please go to http://into-me-i-see-mag.com/ to download all of our issues for FREE.

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If you are in a shell...

An inspiration for personal change in 2014

The Only New Year's Resolution You'll Ever Need

By: Robert Gerzon


How are you doing with your New Year's resolutions?

Inspired by the sight of a new calendar, we vow to do better during the coming year. We resolve to break a bad habit (to stop overeating, to stop going to bed so late) or to build a good habit (to be a better listener, to exercise more). All too often we find that the force and momentum of our old habits soon overcome our best intentions.

We hope to replace our bad habits with good ones, or at least better ones. But what about habit itself? The dictionary defines habit as "an unconscious pattern of behavior." Habits are personal software programs that allow us to live most of our life on auto-pilot. These software programs were written many years ago and often were installed by other people (known as parents). It makes sense that our software might require an upgrade for us to function at our best.

But here's a deeper reason to look at our habits. Buddha, Jesus and many other spiritual teachers taught that we need to wake up from an unconscious, habit-driven way of living to become fully-conscious free human beings. Jesus advised against "pouring new wine into old wineskins." In other words, don't process new life experiences with outdated thought patterns. When people asked Buddha if he was divine, he said simply, "I am one who has awakened."

Years ago I decided to only have one New Year's resolution each year (the most challenging and rewarding one I could imagine): to live each day consciously and creatively. I found that focusing on living each moment with awareness has allowed me to respond to life more authentically and more successfully.

How does it work? Instead of focusing on individual habits I focus on staying conscious throughout the day. Instead of dieting, I eat with awareness. Instead of an ambitious new exercise regimen or early-to-bed resolutions, I listen to my body's needs and respond to them. Instead of trying to "be more considerate," I aim to be more conscious in all my relationships.

So this year, why not break the ultimate habit -- the habit of living from habit. Although good habits are better than bad ones and being completely free of habits isn't a realistic goal, we can all experience more freedom and renewed excitement about our lives if we free ourselves from the dictatorship of our habits.

The key to living consciously instead of sleep-walking through life is to pay attention to what you are saying to yourself at each moment: your "Inner Talk." Examining your Inner Talk gives you access to the software that's been running your life. You can decide what to keep and what to change. The good news is you are not a prisoner of your past conditioning. You can choose new Inner Talk based on your true values and your life purpose.

If conscious and creative living is your ultimate goal, why not use daily life as practice? Approaching each moment as fresh and new will keep your mind sharper, your body healthier and your heart happier. When new Inner Talk flows through the neurons and synapses of your brain old habit patterns dissolve automatically. Each day is more exciting and filled with new potential when you approach it with "beginner's mind."

Best wishes for a conscious and creative New Year!




About the Author: Robert Gerzon is a holistic psychotherapist, life coach and author of "Finding Serenity in the Age of Anxiety." Please visit http://www.gerzon.com for more information and inspiring personal growth articles.

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Permanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=336834&ca=Self+Help


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Speaking With Soul

By Carl A. Hammerschlag M.D., CPAE


Our job as speakers is to get people’s attention and touch them in a way that leaves them enriched for having heard us. Depending on our orientations, we teach, inspire, motivate, and sometimes change behaviors. Our greatest joy is when an audience member tells us we made a difference in his or her life. To magnify that kind of impact, we have to speak with soul.

What is soul? The soul lives in the worlds of feeling, faith and intuition; it’s synonymous with the human spirit and is what sustains us even through hard times. Soul is what makes you a “mensch,” a person with principle who cares for others and inspires by example.

I have been a physician for 40 years, but I didn’t learn about soul or spirit in medical school. It was only after I came to work with Native Americans that I learned to appreciate the power of the human spirit in keeping us healthy. For 16 years, I was Chief of Psychiatry for the Phoenix Indian Medical Center, an experience that exposed me to traditional healers who found ways to kindle a person’s spirit and help them move beyond their limitations.

In the Navajo language, the word for soul is the same as the word for health, truth, beauty, harmony, and the Great Spirit. The word is “Hozho.” When we speak from that soul place, people hear us differently because they feel our truth. In this age of slick commercialism and salesmanship, there is desperation for that kind of honesty. As speakers, we are not only experts with practiced precision, but passionate people willing to take the risk of being spontaneous. To make such a leap means we also have to be willing to be vulnerable. Don’t be frightened by it. Embrace the vulnerability; it makes you real and soulful. When you come from that place, your audience will embrace you not because of your perfection, but your authenticity. People will remember what you say when you speak the truth of what you feel not just what you know.

My wife Elaine clarified this principle for me one evening, when we were giving our two daughters the requisite sex education lecture. I prepared for this and put together a 20-minute presentation of what I thought was uncompromising brilliance. I wasn’t two minutes into it when my two daughters began to nod off. I would not be denied my time, however, and blathered on for another 15 minutes. When I was finished, I turned to my wife (more as a courtesy then believing she was going to add anything of substance) and asked her if she’d like to say something. Elaine paused for several moments and finally said, “What I know about sex education I can tell you in one sentence.” The girls popped up from their lethargy and, with their hands folded across the chest said, “Oh yeah, what is it?” Elaine said, “If it doesn’t feel good you’re not doing it right.”

Those girls have forgotten everything I ever said that night, but they have never forgotten their mother’s line. That line is actually a metaphor for living a healthy, productive soulful life . . . “If it doesn’t feel good, you’re not doing it right.” If you come only from your head, you will only speak to people’s minds; when you speak from the heart with soul, you can change lives.

Let me give you an example from my own profession. There are 2 million heart patients in the United States who have bypass surgery or angioplasty every year, at a cost of around $30 billion. All these heart patients are told by their doctors that if they don’t change their lifestyles, (i.e., eat healthier foods, smoke and drink less, and exercise more), they’ll be back for surgery in five to seven years, if they make it that long. You would think those facts alone would change their behaviors, but 9 out of 10 of those patients do not change their lifestyles. The fear of death alone is insufficient to change people’s behaviors. The only thing the facts do is remind people of the inevitability of their mortality.

Compare this to the results of Dr. Dean Ornish, the distinguished physician whose program for cardiac patients teaches them what to eat, how to exercise, meditate, build community and connect with others on their healing journey. After a month at his facility, 85% of those patients change their behaviors and do not require repeat surgery.

To impact people’s behavior, you have to speak to hearts not just heads, and this principle is not limited heart patients. Consider the story of Jack Murphy who was the subject of the 1974 feature film Murph the Surf, starring Robert Conrad. Murphy was a legendary surfer, concert violinist, National surfing champion, tennis pro, movie stuntman, circus high tower diver, notorious thief and a convicted murderer. In 1968, he was charged with first-degree murder which he denied committing but was, nevertheless, convicted and sentenced to life in prison.

After 19 years, the Florida parole board voted unanimously to parole him because of his exemplary behavior. Bill Glass, the former football star with the Cleveland Browns, founded a prison ministry 35 years ago. Murphy listened to Glass and Hall-of-Famer Roger Staubach talk to inmates about finding God and how it changed their lives. Listening to them, Murphy considered for the first time, the possibility of faith as a way to change his life.

The same man who once sparked one of the biggest riots at Florida State Prison is now, at the age of 68, International Director of Champions for Life. The job takes Murphy into more than 200 prisons a year, where he preaches, consoles, laughs and cries with inmates. Of course, it’s Murphy the con the prisoners want to see, and he gives them a great show. He tells them about the grandest jewel heist in American history. On the night of October 29, 1964, he and accomplices broke into New York’s American Museum of Natural History and stole the J.P. Morgan collection, including the Eagle diamond, the Midnight Sapphire, the DeLong Ruby, and the world’s biggest sapphire, the Star of India, a 563 carat jewel about the size of a racquetball. Murphy was arrested within 48 hours at a hotel where he and his two colleagues had been throwing lavish all-night parties.

Jack Murphy visits the world’s most violent prisons to spread the gospel. Murphy says, education and employment aren’t enough to rehabilitate a criminal. He says, “If you don’t deal with a person’s heart and soul . . . all you’re doing is passing out Band-Aids.” It doesn’t matter how you share your soul — it certainly doesn’t have to be a religious experience — but it has to be your truth. If you are going to change behaviors, you have to let your audiences see in you what they dare to imagine is possible for themselves. You have to be willing to reach deep down inside and share your truth and the passion of your heart, if you expect people to reach down inside themselves and believe that they can move beyond their limitations. Be the change you are trying to create in others, speak with soul.



About the Author: 

Dr. Hammerschlag, "The Healing Doc", is an internationally recognized psychiatrist, author and healer. He is the only physician to hold the CPAE, Speakers Hall of Fame Award. He is a Yale-trained psychiatrist and University of Arizona Medical School faculty member and a healer who is considered a true pioneer in mind-body-spirit medicine. After spending more than twenty years working with Native Americans, Dr. Hammerschlag is considered a "survival expert" for people in rapidly changing cultures and times. Get "The Healing Doc's" Free Newsletter at http://www.healingdoc.com.

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False Friends

By James Kyle

Anyone who has tried to learn a foreign language is familiar with the concept of a false friend. Examples in Spanish are constipado meaning a common cold and embarazada meaning pregnant.. It works the other way also. A teacher in Spain was telling me recently how much trouble she was having trying to stop her pupils from complaining that their classmates are molesting them – molestar in Spanish meaning to annoy. And preservativo certainly does not mean preservative in English.

It occurs to me that some of our ingrained beliefs / mental maps should also be seen as false friends. They may seem to be “good ideas” but they actually lead us astray. For example, in a previous article I recommended a book on relationships. I stand by that recommendation in general but not in one particular aspect. The exception is that one of the guidelines this book give is to tell the “microscopic truth.” This originally appealed to me as an ideal that we should all aim for and I readily bought into this as the foundation for a successful relationship. Unfortunately to borrow from the movie "A Few Good Men", the words “the truth ... you can’t handle the truth” applies to too many people. I have subsequently found that telling the absolute truth too readily comes back to haunt you. I should also put this in the context that I have learned to have a very pragmatic approach to belief systems. It is fine to have ideals as an objective but if they do not serve us in the real world then they should be abandoned.

My experience of truthfully admitting to faults I had in the past was that this introduced into the relationship doubts and fears that these would be repeated in the current relationship. And no amount of words arguing the case that I was a different person now made any difference whatsoever. Even worse these doubts resulting from my absolute honesty led to the ludicrous situation where my ongoing honesty was being questioned. I had flaws in the past, and if I had none evident in the present, then it must be because I had resolved to hide them.

Now does this mean that with the right person absolute honesty would not work and it should be abandoned as an ideal to aspire to? Of course not. However the point I am making is to be aware of cherished ideas, “spiritual” or otherwise. So for example, honesty is a good principle, but I would suggest, at times, the concept of the white lie has something to be said for it. This could be to spare someone's feelings, to avoid giving a false impression about yourself, or in general to not damage relationships. For an detailed expansion on these points and an interesting definition of white lies as 'Untruths that reduce net harm' see here.

The underlying constraint, of course, is not to be fooling oneself and allow the white lie to verge into true deceit. The guiding principle is that, while being aware that being 100% truthful may not always be conducive to maintaining relationships, never lose sight of honouring yourself and the other party as an overriding principle. What do you think, do you agree?



P.S. I hope you do appreciate I have been truthful about lying!

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Authenticity - Why people arent themselves and what that costs them

By Bella Enahoro

Why should you be yourself? The simple answer is 'because everyone else is taken' - it's both the simple answer and an accurate answer. The important question is 'why are we not ourselves?' What is the pay off for not being ourselves? Ahhh, now we're talking.

To begin with, what would cause us to not want to be ourselves? For some of us, we may have been raised in environments where it was dangerous to be who we are. Even as adults we may be working in environments that demand that we be other than who we are in order to ensure job security. So we conclude, I have to be other than I am to get what I want i.e. love, safety, income etc.

We may have learned to believe 'who I am is not good enough to be loved, guaranteed safety, approved of'. We may have been told 'who you are is not worth treating well'. We may have learned 'who you are is not good enough to meet my standards for 'being good enough'. We may become convinced that we are less than we should be.

When we feel not good enough what happens to our lives? We end up putting things on hold until we feel we 'deserve' by becoming good enough. We spend so much time striving to feel that we're good enough. Have I accomplished enough, am I good looking enough, is my car big/fast/exclusive enough, is my job title high enough, do I have enough awards to be good enough? Exhausting isn't it?
Self worth and authenticity are intrinsically linked. The worth we have in our own eyes, a sense of worth not built on acquisition, job title, appearance, credentials - is the only worth, worth living out of. How many of us realise that we have an intrinsic worth greater than anything on the outside? If we go through life with a sense of being deficient then we are motivated to acquire value - the things that others value in the world then become our aim in life. I may not be good enough in and of myself but look what I've got, becomes our calling card.

Sooner or later, things fall apart, if we're lucky. It can take many forms e.g we can lose everything we spent our whole lives accruing or we meet someone or a situation who places no value on our 'social bling'. We run helter skelter trying to get them to 'see' us as our bling or we go somewhere else. But there's a crack in the tea cup. When it finally breaks open, our break down becomes our breakthrough.

We begin to look for another way. What we've been looking for is a way to feel good about who we are, under all circumstance. We don't always realise it at first since there's much howling in pain and hanging onto fast disappearing 'bling'.

The breakthrough cracks us wide open and everything we've been taught is 'wrong' with us, all the things we've been taught make us 'not good enough' stare us in the face. Excruciating at first but if we stay, refuse to take flight, we can transform. Now begins the re-acquainting ourselves with the 'real' us, all of it.

There are many transformation technologies from journaling, meditation, prayer, walking, body work, sound, vibrational healing. We tend to gravitate towards one that works for us. Soon the pain subsides, loses its edge. We don't feel so raw. Our lives may be in shambles around us but we can stand to be alive and increasingly we can stand to be ourselves. We live in a time of infinite help with wonderful teachers who can assist us in moving out of our debris; emotional, psychological and spiritual.

Not being who we are, may be something we picked up at our beginning but was never a part of our being and we need not continue with it.



About The Author

Bella Enahoro is the founder of http://www.livewellaudio.com a Motivational company that helps individuals,non-profits and companies improve their lives, build communities, profts and positive impact.

Visit her website for the latest on audiobooks, downloads and articles on self-help, personal growth, professional development and spirituality.


http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_9357.shtml


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Self insight

By James Kyle

Many years ago I attended a series of seminars in London that would eventually lead me to studying for a masters degree in Spiritual Psychology at the University of Santa Monica in California. You can read more about this in this previous series of posts: What Did William Wallace Say?

Now, after many years absence, Insight seminars are returning to the UK. There will be an Insight seminar in the Primrose Hill area of London next weekend.

Some of the key shifts I have made, that have helped empower my own life, started off with "insights" from Insight. The following key concepts are a just a few of the topics covered:

• Letting go of judgement
• Responsibility and keeping agreements with self and others
• Giving and Receiving
• Being true to oneself

The above topics are those that resonated with me. In particular I have given much consideration to this concept of self. The degree to which we play set roles in our lives and how we often choose poor roles that are a disservice to ourselves and unnecessarily disempower us.

Building on this, a key learning for me that really took root as I subsequently read Hayakawa' s book "Language in Thought and Action" was realising that my inner map of reality is just that - a map -  and not the territory. And then a huge leap forward can be made when we start to realise that the very concept of who we hold ourselves to be is just another map of reality ... and this "self" too is a mental construct can readily be changed.

And with that realisation, the words of Marianne Williamson really come to life:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.' We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Of course what you would get out of this seminar will depend on where you are on your personal path of self growth, but I have confidence that wherever that is, you will find value in the seminar. Further details can be found here Insight London Seminar.

For those outside the UK have a look here instead.

Resolving Issues in Close Relationships

The most impressive book I have ever read on maintaining healthy and empowering personal relationships is "Conscious Loving" by Gay & Kathlyn Hendricks.

The following highlights give a flavour of the book. However this is certainly one book where taking time to closely read the book from cover to cover is a worth while investment.


Five points characterizing a co-committed relationship:

I. The participants support each other to be whole, complete individuals.

II. The relationship is a catalyst for full self-expression.

III. The relationship is a catalyst for individual expression of creativity.

IV. The participants each take 100% responsibility for their own life and the consequences of their actions.

V. The participants avoid conflict by not taking on the role of victim.

Five suggestions to facilitate couples’ communication:

I. Use ownership language. (I statements prevents hiding the truth from oneself).

II. Tell the microscopic truth. (A unequivocal declaration of personal emotion, or feeling, or action that prevents the communication from becoming judgmental).

III. Communicate using statements not questions. (Questions can be used to manipulate and avoid responsibility, impairing intimacy).

IV. Empower rather than rescue. (Do not interpret another’s reality by putting words into their mouths. This is part of a larger pattern of trying to sort out someone else’s life which actually disempowers them).

V. Avoid redefining. (Deliberate manipulation of a conversation to score points rather than addressing the subject raised is an destructive way of avoiding real communication).


Six Co-Commitments:

I. I commit myself to being close, and I commit myself to clearing up anything in the way of my ability to do so.

II. I commit myself to my own complete development as an individual.

III. I commit to revealing myself fully in my relationships, not to concealing myself.

IV. I commit myself to the full empowerment of people around me.

V. I commit to acting from the awareness that I am 100 percent the source of my reality.

VI. I commit myself to having a good time in my close relationships.

Keeping it Simple

By Awarenessinstitute

Over the past few months, the concepts of stripping back the superfluous, simplifying and pulling apart the true meaning of integrity have been strong personal themes. For many people, there's a drive to again inspect old patterns that continue to run happily in the background despite years of self-examination. Perhaps under the direction of a new global energy, there's a sense of being able to lovingly let go of those things that have served us all well on one level, yet have offered excuses to stay small on another.

I came across Don Miguel Ruiz "The Four Agreements" the other day and it strongly resonated with this desire to pare back; to simplify; to become more real as a participant in this world and begin operating in a more authentic way.

With these 4 simple tenets, we could literally change the way we as humans operate in this world. How do they resonate with you? Please feel free to share your thoughts, we'd love to hear from you.

1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don't Take Anything Personally: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don't Make Assumptions: Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best: Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret. ~ Don Miguel Ruiz

Awareness Institute is an organic community of professionally trained facilitators, clinicians and healers committed to inspiring an evolutionary shift in human consciousness. The author invites you to visit: http://www.awarenessinstitute.com.au

Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_9371.shtml

Listening to Shame

Commenting on this post, Shame about the Guilt Trip, Áinne Burke on LinkedIn drew my attention to the video below.


Brené Brown: "There's a huge difference between shame and guilt. And here's what you need to know. Shame is highly, highly correlated with addiction, depression, violence, aggression, bullying, suicide, eating disorders. And here's what you even need to know more. Guilt, inversely correlated with those things. The ability to hold something we've done or failed to do up against who we want to be is incredibly adaptive. It's uncomfortable, but it's adaptive".

Watch this 20 minute video for this, and more fascinating insights.

The Dying: Not Just Patients, But Teachers

There is a useful thought experiment that we should all perform every now and again called the rocking chair test. The idea is to think of yourself, much older than you are now, sitting in your rocking chair on the porch reflecting on your life and considering what you could have done better and what are your regrets. The idea, of course, is to determine to take the necessary action steps now so that you don't have these regrets later in life.

The video clip below of Danielle Zeder really brings this into focus. As she says, 'When people hear I enjoy Hospice nursing, they say "Oh my God, how can you do that, it's so depressing!" Actually, it is the complete opposite. People faced with their own mortality are usually the most insightful life teachers. Who better to absorb life's valuable lessons from than those who are facing the end of their own journey?'

This video is about five minutes long.

A self empowering vision

By James Kyle

In the last post I discussed one tool that was encouraged at the University of Santa Monica - that of keeping a journal looking at recurring life patterns. Another exercise we were encouraged to do as part of the course was to formulate a living vision. Here is my own personal response to this:

I am fully present in the moment, expressing myself clearly and authentically, and trusting that my universe is a safe supporting place. I am communicating with myself and others in a positive way, experiencing a spiritual connection which is the foundation for a joyful, playful self-expression. I am experiencing and fully engaging in the flow of the universe, being filled with dynamic energy that is transforming my life. I am connecting with people from this vital center, radiating health and well being to myself and others. I am finding that supporting myself in achieving greater level of health is fun and easy, and naturally, effortlessly this becomes an integrated part of my life from this point on. I am utilizing my intuition to assist me in making self-honoring choices. I am realizing the wisdom of the phrase, ‘excellence not perfection’, supporting myself in moving out of judgment into a position of loving self-acceptance. On the physical plane all of this is contributing to ever increasing feelings of well being and vitality, empowering and balancing my own immune system to come into alignment with my body’s highest good. As my body is achieving greater balance the health challenges which I have experienced up until now are fading away: they were symptoms which were informing me of my need to re-align the focus of my life, and as I do so, the symptoms melt away. I am experiencing life as becoming ever simpler, as my life becomes one of loving service to myself and others.

What would yours be?

Authenticity - Why people aren't themselves and what that costs them

by: Bella Enahoro

Why should you be yourself? The simple answer is 'because everyone else is taken' - it's both the simple answer and an accurate answer. The important question is 'why are we not ourselves?' What is the pay off for not being ourselves? Ahhh, now we're talking.

To begin with, what would cause us to not want to be ourselves? For some of us, we may have been raised in environments where it was dangerous to be who we are. Even as adults we may be working in environments that demand that we be other than who we are in order to ensure job security. So we conclude, I have to be other than I am to get what I want i.e. love, safety, income etc.

We may have learned to believe 'who I am is not good enough to be loved, guaranteed safety, approved of'. We may have been told 'who you are is not worth treating well'. We may have learned 'who you are is not good enough to meet my standards for 'being good enough'. We may become convinced that we are less than we should be.

When we feel not good enough what happens to our lives? We end up putting things on hold until we feel we 'deserve' by becoming good enough. We spend so much time striving to feel that we're good enough. Have I accomplished enough, am I good looking enough, is my car big/fast/exclusive enough, is my job title high enough, do I have enough awards to be good enough? Exhausting isn't it?

Self worth and authenticity are intrinsically linked. The worth we have in our own eyes, a sense of worth not built on acquisition, job title, appearance, credentials - is the only worth, worth living out of. How many of us realise that we have an intrinsic worth greater than anything on the outside? If we go through life with a sense of being deficient then we are motivated to acquire value - the things that others value in the world then become our aim in life. I may not be good enough in and of myself but look what I've got, becomes our calling card.

Sooner or later, things fall apart, if we're lucky. It can take many forms e.g we can lose everything we spent our whole lives accruing or we meet someone or a situation who places no value on our 'social bling'. We run helter skelter trying to get them to 'see' us as our bling or we go somewhere else. But there's a crack in the tea cup. When it finally breaks open, our break down becomes our breakthrough.

We begin to look for another way. What we've been looking for is a way to feel good about who we are, under all circumstance. We don't always realise it at first since there's much howling in pain and hanging onto fast disappearing 'bling'.

The breakthrough cracks us wide open and everything we've been taught is 'wrong' with us, all the things we've been taught make us 'not good enough' stare us in the face. Excruciating at first but if we stay, refuse to take flight, we can transform. Now begins the re-acquainting ourselves with the 'real' us, all of it.

There are many transformation technologies from journaling, meditation, prayer, walking, to body work, among others. We tend to gravitate towards one that works for us. Soon the pain subsides, loses its edge. We don't feel so raw. Our lives may be in shambles around us but we can stand to be alive and increasingly we can stand to be ourselves. We live in a time of infinite help with wonderful teachers who can assist us in moving out of our debris; emotional, psychological and spiritual.

Not being who we are, may be something we picked up at our beginning but was never a part of our being and we need not continue with it.


Bella Enahoro is the founder of http://www.livewellaudio.com a Motivational company that helps individuals,non-profits and companies improve their lives, build communities, profts and positive impact.

Visit her website for the latest on audiobooks, downloads and articles on self-help, personal growth, professional development and spirituality.

What did William Wallace say Part II

by James Kyle

Starting from Anthony Robbins' famous phrase, “If you can’t you must” this article is a continuation of the previous one on Personal Development seminars ...


The mirror concept does not stop there. Something that can become very apparent in the seminar room is how much love and beauty there is in other people. To be intimate with someone else does not require a physical relationship. In several seminars I have had the privilege of being in the presence of someone who is communicating with me from a position of inner alignment and authenticity, and found in myself the freedom to respond in like manner. This experience can only be described as one of true intimacy. In day to day life, outside of a seminar environment, this can often be missing from our lives. Of course it can be tempting to rely on going back to the seminar room every time I want to experience this depth of connection. However another valuable lesson I have taken to heart is that the real point of working on myself in these seminars is to take experiences like these and to manifest them in my everyday life. I now look on a seminar room as an experimental laboratory where I can see if new attitudes and behaviours add value to my life, and, if so, I then ensure I integrate them into my day to day life.

This level of intimacy of course is a two way process. I now know that when I look at someone else and see how loveable and how beautiful they are, that this is telling me something about myself. Yes - remember the mirror concept. Someone who is not resonating to their own inner love and beauty cannot truly appreciate these qualities in another. An example may help to clarify this. I know that when I am experiencing my life as negative and being despondent then this is reflected in the way I perceive my surroundings, and I really cannot see the beauty of the world around me. On the other hand, if I choose to be positive in my approach to life, the very same experiences can be transformed as I open up to appreciate the beauty that surrounds me. Similarly, in a very real sense, the beauty and love that I see in others is reflecting my state of being - the fact that I am in touch with the beauty and love inside me. A seminar room that is full of loving people can help us to truly realise that when we love others, we are loving ourselves.

Another of the joys of an effective seminar is the opportunity to celebrate the richness and diversity of the talents of our fellow participants. Some  of my most treasured memories are when someone has utilised the support and loving that can  be evident when people are being open with each other, to step forward and fully express their creative ability. It is even more magical when it is obvious that the individual may have not have dreamt before that they were capable of such depth of expression, or indeed, that they would have the courage to share this with an audience.  It can be a revelation to realise how talented all of us are, and how much we have to offer if we can only give ourselves permission to be more spontaneous. A good seminar will encourage playfulness and fun and laughter. Personal growth does not necessarily need to be accompanied by blood, sweat and tears. Laughter can be the best medicine.

Some of you may have come across the work of Dr Patch Adams. Dr  Adams, part time clown, firmly believes that laughter is a potent weapon to combat ill-health, and refers to studies which demonstrate that laughter reinforces the bodies’ own immune system by releasing endorphins, the body's natural pain killers. He also believes that a major contributing factor towards illness in Western society is a lack of connection with other people, otherwise known as loneliness. My personal experience would support these beliefs. I have had long running health problems and I have come to realise that, in the past, a failure to open myself up to people and to cultivate close relationships has played a significant part in this. I would also add that a lack of purpose and meaning in my life also contributed to past feelings of depression and hopelessness. This negativity has had a profound effect on my physical well being.

There are, from time to time, stories of physical symptoms being alleviated and illnesses cured by transformational experiences in a seminar room. I have witnessed this myself in other people. It should not come as a surprise when we realise that a seminar can offer laughter, and connection with fellow participants, and encourages us to focus on all that is positive. We also have an opportunity to carefully consider who we truly are, and what we want out of life, both in terms of what we want to contribute and what we want to receive. If we really embrace these opportunities then the experience can be transformational. The love and energy from our fellow participants can create an environment which enables us to heal ourselves. We can use this as an opportunity to get more in touch with the love we have for ourselves, and this renewed care we demonstrate for ourselves can be manifested in an  improvement in our physical well being - sometimes dramatically so.

My personal experience is that I have had the opportunity to redefine my attitude to my illness. I have become more accepting. And I do not see this acceptance as something negative. I still work to alleviate my symptoms as much as possible. However I am choosing not to waste my energy in resisting what is. I am choosing to focus on what I can do about my situation and not to spend my time feeling sorry for myself, seeing myself as a victim. I accept the fact that my illness exists, but I see this as yet another opportunity for growth and expansion. I choose to be positive and maximise life's possibilities by pushing the boundaries of what I can do, in spite of the illness I have. As my attitude has changed I have been amazed to find out to what extent it was my beliefs about my illness that were  imposing limitations on what I could achieve, rather than the illness itself.

We started with freedom and that is a good place to end. I personally have found freedom from several self-imposed limitations through participating on various self development seminars. I am now 'nice' to people when appropriate, and because I chose to be so, and not because of social conditioning that taught me to always put other's desires and needs above my own. An attitude that contributed to my own ill health over many years. Today my health and energy levels are better than they have ever been since my illness began twenty years ago. Nowadays, I do not impose limits on myself in terms of what I believe I can achieve. I am more spontaneous and I acknowledge my own creativity and talents. I have experienced many moments on seminars where I broke through limitations and on arriving at the other side found how much fun and joy I could experience from something I previously thought of as threatening. With a renewed sense of purpose and direction in my life I have  more energy in my life and a focus that helps me achieve results. I have begun to really appreciate  the lesson of being authentic in relationships and opening up myself to others, and the power of  being open to giving and receiving love.


TO BE CONTINUED

What did William Wallace say???

by James Kyle


“If you can’t you must” is a renowned statement made by Anthony Robbins. As per this previous post he is certainly someone who can provide key insights. In my own case, these five words alone have had a profound effect on my life. My upbringing and conditioning combined with life-long chronic illness had resulted in an approach to life that was about surviving and getting by, with an introverted personality and an extreme lack of self confidence. I was existing not living. And there you have the before picture.

The changes I my life started when I attended a personal development seminar in London called Insight. And as I sat considering how to structure this article I realised that I really need to tell you about my experiences on that seminar and ones that followed. I subsequently recalled that many years ago I wrote a magazine piece that summarised exactly that. So, thanks to the modern technological miracle of OCR,  this single article suddenly transmuted into a series of articles where I will first be sharing extracts from that magazine piece and subsequently be returning to the “If you can’t you must” theme at a later point. 

And so, this first Insight seminar in London led to me attending several more and eventually, over 15 years ago now, I found myself in a seminar room in Santa Monica Boulevard, Los Angeles …


"What did William Wallace say?" "Sorry?" I replied. I was asked once more by the American facilitator "What did William Wallace say?" I hadn't expected that when I flew over to California for this particular seminar I was going to be quizzed on Scottish history. I looked confused - maybe he would put it down to my jet-lag. A battle-cry of "Freedom!!!" came back as the answer. At least it was the answer as documented by 'Braveheart'. We were sitting in a seminar room just a short drive from Hollywood after all. 'Freedom' - an appropriate goal for a country and, of course, for an individual. The lesson was to develop over the rest of this seminar and to be embodied in the phrase "The truth shall set you free." 

It's a phrase that has become increasingly important to me, as I developed more and more awareness of myself over the past three years, participating on personal development seminars in this country and abroad. What I have realised is how often I moulded my behaviour to be acceptable to other people, rather than risk acting on what was true for me; how often I used to look back on an interaction with someone else and realise that I had just not been honest, and not stood up for my inner truth. On some occasions my fear of rejection meant I would let someone else's ego override my own boundaries. On other occasions I held back my love and caring, letting people walk out of my life because I felt inadequate inside. The transformation in my life began when I finally summoned the courage to open up to others and let them really see me - as I am. It seems such a simple thing, yet although it is indeed simple, it certainly hasn't been easy, and what has helped me immeasurably on my journey is the courses and seminars I have taken part in. 

After years of reading self-help books, I found that there was something about a seminar no book could ever give me - other people! Other people with whom I could practice what I was learning, take risks, experiment - rather than just page after page of dry theory. I have also found in my co-participants the greatest support, encouragement and friendship I could have wished for - providing a safe and nourishing environment in which I could grow and learn about the real me. And, if I want to be true to myself, then this does imply that I need to find out exactly who is the real me. 

There are the famous lines quoted by Nelson Mandela, "We ask ourselves - 'Who are we to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are we not to be?'" One of the advantages in working in groups is that as other people open up I see that I am not alone in having periods of self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy. I also have the opportunity to see many of these people rising above these limiting beliefs and presenting themselves to the world as powerful human beings who still strive to live life to the full. There have been two big lessons for me here. The first is the need for me to make allowances for the human condition. It is too easy to judge others, and ourselves, harshly. There is a saying along the lines of "Please go easy on me, God hasn't finished with me yet!" And whether or not you believe in a God perhaps you can empathise with the spirit of this statement. We are all "works in progress", and judgement can only serve to separate and put us out of alignment with ourselves and other people. The other lesson is a result of really coming to know and appreciate my fellow participants - I see how amazing they are, and how capable they are of rising above these self proclaimed inner doubts - providing me with wonderful role models! A person can have periods of self-doubt and still be socially confident and outgoing. And if they can do it - so can I. 

Another valuable concept I have come to embrace is that of others being a mirror of myself. There have been many times in a seminar room, and in life in general, when I have had a strong emotional reaction to someone else. Before doing this kind of work if I had an encounter where someone had 'upset me', I would have put it down to them being an objectionable person, and made it my policy to avoid them as much as possible. However by repeatedly doing this, I now realise that I am only weakening myself and restricting my life's choices. But, most important of all, I realised that as long as I gave the power over my emotions to another person - i.e. they did it to me, I was giving away my power to be master of my own life. 

I learned in these seminars that there is an alternative, that there is another, more effective way of responding to people who I find provocative - that is to see them as mirrors reflecting my issues back to me. It can be challenging at times! And often I find myself thinking, "Oh, no, not HIM! I'm nothing like him. I am sure the concept doesn't apply this time!" But if I persist, I can usually find the place where the other person is beautifully demonstrating just what I do in a different situation, or perhaps what they are doing externally .is what I do silently inside, or maybe what they're doing is holding back their gifts in the same way I hold mine back. If I really look, there is usually something. 

For example, there have been occasions where I have perceived someone as being very stubborn, and I have found myself getting angry at them. However remembering to pause for a moment to consider what is happening inside me, I look and realise that I am the one who is being really stubborn - but, of course, I really want to project the entire blame for the escalating disagreement on the other person. On such occasions, when I do remember to look inside, and realise that, yes, once more I can see this is the result of something inside me, I embrace this. I embrace this because what it means is that NOBODY is responsible for how I feel except me. And if this is originating from inside me I can change this! To really claim back responsibility for our emotional reactions is very powerful and liberating. It certainly beats feeling like one of life's victims! 

I now realise that I can look at these types of interaction as an opportunity to learn and grow, and redefine such situations to work for me rather than against me. I can choose to see my own emotional reactions as 'warning lights' that I need to do some reworking of my attitudes and responses when faced with that particular type of situation. And I can choose to do this without judging myself for being inadequate when faced with such challenges, but with respect for myself for owning MY issues, being wise enough to seize upon the opportunity for self growth, and for maximising life's opportunities by being open to all that life presents. There is something to be said for the maxim 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'. So I choose to learn and grow from this type of experience by accepting responsibility and focusing on what I can change - my attitude; rather than what I can't - other people's behaviour. That one lesson alone has been a worthwhile return for the investment of my time in the seminars I have attended over the years. 

TO BE CONTINUED

10 Reasons You Should Never Have a Religion (Part 2)

This article is the followup to the one posted on Thursday and covers reasons 6 to 10. I welcome your comments below.



By Steve Pavlina

6. Incest is best.

Religions frequently promote inbred social networks. You’re encouraged to spend more time with people who share the same belief system while disengaging from those with incompatible beliefs. Sometimes this is done subtly; other times it’s more obvious.

If you’re one of the saved, blessed, or otherwise enlightened individuals who stumbled upon the one true belief system, then supposedly everyone else remains in the dark. Certain religions are overtly intolerant of outsiders, but to one degree or another, all major religions cast non-subscribers in a negative light. This helps to discourage members from abandoning the religion while still enabling them to proselytize. The main idea is to maintain social structures that reward loyalty and punish freedom of thought.

This us-vs-them prejudice is totally incongruent with conscious living. It’s also downright moronic from a global perspective. But it remains a favored practice of those who pull the strings. When you’re taught to distrust other human beings, fear gets a foothold in your consciousness, and you become much easier to control.

When you join a religion, your fellow mind-slaves will help to keep you in line, socially rewarding your continued obedience while punishing your disloyalty. Why do they do this? It’s what they’ve been conditioned to do. Tell your religious friends that you’re abandoning their religion because you want to think for yourself for a while, and watch the sparks fly. Suddenly you’ve gone from best friend to evil demon. There’s no greater threat to religious people than to profess your desire to think for yourself.

There are better ways to enjoy a sense of community than joining a slavery club. Try making friends with conscious, free-thinking people for a change — people who are willing to connect with you regardless of how silly your beliefs are. You may find it intimidating at first, but it’s quite refreshing once you get used to it.

Since I get asked this question all the time, I might as well answer it publicly. Do I accept Jesus Christ as my personal savior? No more than I’d accept a credit card from Crapital One. Either way I’d be worried about the fine print. Does this mean we can’t be friends anymore? Please don’t hate me because I’m doomed.

7. Idiocy or hypocrisy – pick one.

When you subscribe to an established religion, you have only two options. You can become an idiot, or you can become a hypocrite. If you’ve already chosen the former, I’ll explain why, and I’ll use small words so that you’re sure to understand.

First, there’s the idiocy route. You can willingly swallow all of the contrived, man-made drivel that’s fed to you. Accept that the earth is only 10,000 years old. Believe stories about dead bodies coming back to life. Learn about various deities and such. Put your trust in someone who thinks they know what they’re talking about. Eat your dogma. Good boy!

Congratulations! You’re a moron believer. You’ll be saved, enlightened, and greeted with tremendous fanfare when you die… unless of course all the stuff you were taught turns out not to be true. Nah… if the guy in the robe says it’s true, it must be true. Ya gotta have faith, right?

Next, we have the hypocrisy option. In this case your neocortex is strong enough to identify various bits of utter nonsense in the religious teachings that others are trying to ram down your throat. You have a working B.S. detector, but it’s slightly damaged. You’re smart enough to realize that earth is probably a lot older than 10,000 years and that pre-marital (or non-marital) sex is a lot of fun, but some B.S. still gets through. You don’t swallow all the bull, but you still identify yourself as a follower of a particular religion, most likely because you were raised in it and never actually chose it to begin with.

To you it’s just a casual pursuit. You’re certainly not a die-hard fundamentalist, but you figure that if you drink the wine and chew the wafer now and then, it’s good enough to get you a free ride into a half-decent afterlife. You belong to the pro-God club. Surely there’s safety in numbers. Two people can’t be wrong… although 4-1/2 billion supposedly can.

In this case you become an apologist for your own religion. You don’t want to be identified with the extreme fanatics, nor do you want to be associated with the non-believers. You figure you can straddle both sides. On earth you’ll basically live as a non-practitioner (or a very sloppy and inconsistent practitioner), but when you eventually die, you’ve still got the membership card to show God.

Do you realize how deluded you are?

Perhaps if you have to throw out so much of the nonsense to make your chosen belief system palatable, you shouldn’t be drinking the Kool Aid in the first place. Free yourself from the mental baggage, stop looking to others for permission to live, and start thinking on your own. If your God exists, he’s smart enough to see through your fake ID.

From time to time, some of my readers take a stab at converting me to their religion. Most of them come across as total loons, but I can at least respect their consistency. I’ve no idea why they bother to read my site (which is about raising, not lowering, consciousness). Perhaps some of them are getting ready to convert from fundamentalism to common sense.

You’d think I’d be quite a prize for any serious religion. With 2.4 million monthly readers, that’s a lot of people I could potentially enslave convert, not to mention how much I could fill the Church coffers by soliciting indulgences donations on their behalf. Henceforth I expect a much better conversion effort. If you won’t do it for the money, then do it for the souls. You can’t let so many of us go to hell without trying in earnest to save us, can you?

Just keep those conversion emails below 10,000 words if possible, with no more than 9,000 of them quoted from your favorite great book.

8. Inherited falsehood.

Please tell me you aren’t still practicing the religion you happened to be born into? Surely you’ve outgrown your baby clothes by now. Isn’t it time you also outgrew your baby religion?

What if you were born into a different culture? Would you have been conscious enough to find your way back to your current belief system? Or are your current beliefs merely a product of your environment and not the result of conscious choice?

Many religions are just a mish-mash of what came before. For example, Christianity is largely based on pagan rituals. If those pagan beliefs and rituals had been protected by copyright, Christianity wouldn’t even exist. If you take the time to dig into the roots of Christianity, you’ll encounter various theories that Christianity’s teachings were largely assembled from pre-Christian myths and that Jesus himself was merely a fictional character pieced together from earlier mythical figures. You go, Horus!

Many religious teachers (i.e. priests, rabbis, ministers, etc.) are just brainwashed slaves themselves. They don’t have any real authority and aren’t even aware of the agenda being set by their superiors. This makes them better minions because they actually believe the B.S. they’re spouting and don’t know the truth behind it. A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar, but that’s as far as they get. They may interact with the bartender, but they never get to know the guy who owns the bar. They suffer from inherited falsehood just like everyone else.

Is your religion based on the inspired word of God? No more than this article. Just because someone says their text is divinely inspired doesn’t mean it is. Anyone can claim divine inspiration. The top religions are decided by popularity, not by truth.

Even the central figures in major religions didn’t follow the religions that were spawned in their names. If they didn’t swallow the prevailing “wisdom” about gods and spiritual leaders and such, why should you? If you want to be more like the people you worship, then follow their lead by striking out on your own.

Move beyond your baby religion. Consider maturity as a reasonable alternative.

9. Compassion in chains.

Religious rules and laws invariably hamper the development of conscience. This causes all sorts of problems like pointless violence and warfare. Those who preach nonviolence as a rule or law tend to be the most violent of all. Such people cannot be trusted because they’ll violate their proclaimed values with the weakest of excuses.

When you externalize compassion into a set of rules and laws, what you’re left with isn’t compassion at all. True compassion is a matter of conscious choice, and that requires the absence of force-backed rules and laws.

The more religious a person becomes, the less compassionate s/he is. The illusion of compassion substitutes for the real thing. Religious people tend to be the most bigoted and non-accepting people on earth. They’re the least trustworthy and suffer from the grossest character defects. They pretend they’re doing good, but they’re really collaborators in a system designed to push people into unconscious slavery to a “higher” authority. They are slaves promoting slavery.

Historically speaking, religious people love to fight each other. Instead of unconditional love, they practice conditional loyalty. The only unconditional aspect is their thirst for blood. If you disagree with them, you’re a target… either for conversion or destruction (both of which are really the same thing).

If you value the ideal of unconditional love, you won’t find it in the practice of religion. Real compassion doesn’t arise from believing in God, from practicing various rituals, or from studying the concept of karma. Compassion can only result from conscious choice, and this requires the freedom to choose without the threat of punishment or the promise of reward. If you’re obedient to your faith, it’s a safe bet that compassion is absent from your life. You probably don’t even know what real compassion feels like.

The more we collectively abandon all religion, the better off this planet will be. This doesn’t mean we have to abandon all spiritual pursuits. It just means we must stop turning spirituality into something it isn’t.

10. Faith is fear.

Religion is the systematic marketing of fear.

Blessed are the poor (donate heavily). Blessed are the meek (obey). Blessed are the humble (don’t question authority). Blessed are the hungry (make us rich while you starve). Blessed are the merciful (if you catch us doing something wrong, let it go). Blessed are the pure of heart (switch off your brain). Blessed are the timid, the cowardly, the fearful. Blessed are those who give us their power and become our slaves. Muahahaha!

That’s the kind of nonsense religion pushes on people. They train you to turn your back on courage, strength, and conscious living. This is stupidity, not divinity.

Religion will teach you to fear being different, to fear standing up for yourself, and to fear being an independent thinker. It will erode your self-trust by explaining why you’re unable to successfully manage life on your own terms: You are unworthy. You’re a sinner. You’re unclean. You belong to a lesser caste. You are not enlightened. Of course the solution is always the same — submit to the will of an external authority. Believe that you’re inadequate. Give away your power. Follow their rules and procedures. Live in fear for the rest of your life, and hope it will all turn out okay in the end.

When you practice faith instead of conscious living, you live under a cloak of fear. Eventually that cloak becomes so habitual you forget it’s even there. It’s very sad when you reach the point where you can’t even remember what it feels like to wield creative freedom over your own life, independent of what you’ve been conditioned to believe.

Faith is the coward’s substitute for courage. It’s also really good marketing if you’re the one who controls the faith. If you’re afraid or unwilling to assume total responsibility for your life, you’re a perfect match for religion.

Fear in one part of your life invariably spreads to all other parts — you can’t compartmentalize it. If you find yourself frustrated because you’re too afraid to follow your dreams, to talk to members of the opposite sex, to speak up for yourself, etc., then a good place to start is to rid your life of all religious nonsense. Don’t let fear get a foothold in your consciousness.

Stop trying to comfort yourself by swallowing religious rubbish. If you really need something to believe in, then believe in your own potential. Put your trust in your own intellect. Stop giving away your power.

Dump the safety-in-numbers silliness. Just because a lot of people believe stupid stuff doesn’t mean it isn’t stupid. It just means that stupidity is popular on this planet. When people are in a state of fear, they’ll swallow just about anything to comfort themselves, including the bastion of stupidity known as religion.

***

Religion is spiritual immaturity.

It’s entirely possible to enjoy your life without spending so much of it bent over in submission. Pull your head out of your rear, and look around with your own two eyes. If you need something to worship, then feel grateful for your own conscious mind. Pull it out of the cobwebs, and boot it up.

Besides… if some popular religious version of God does exist, there’s a good chance he’s a complete and total idiot. He made us in his image, right? So perhaps we shouldn’t be so quick to worship an entity so lacking in intelligence. We’re better off on our own.

God isn’t going to smite you for not formally worshipping him. If he didn’t smite me by now, it’s a safe bet you’ll slide beneath the radar as well. And if that doesn’t work, you can borrow my fake ID. I’ve been baptized and confirmed, and I’m the son of an altar boy and the nephew of a priest, so I’m sure I’ll be fine.

Praise Hestia!


http://www.stevepavlina.com

10 Reasons You Should Never Have a Religion

I have been thinking for a while that it would be a really good idea to have an article that would attract some comments. I think I may have found one, again courtesy of Steve Pavlina. Please add your comments ranging from "right on" to calling down retribution from your very own proprietary deity below. This article covers numbers 1 to 5. Part two of this article will be published on Saturday.


By Steve Pavlina

While consciously pursuing your spiritual development is commendable, joining an established religion such as Christianity, Islam, or Hinduism is one of the worst ways to go about it. In this article I’ll share 10 reasons why you must eventually abandon the baggage of organized religion if you wish to pursue conscious living in earnest.

Since Christianity is currently the world’s most popular religion, I’ll slant this article towards Christianity’s ubiquitous failings. However, you’ll find that most of these points apply equally well to other major religions (yes, even Buddhism).

1. Spirituality for dummies.

If you have the awareness level of a snail, and your thinking is mired in shame and guilt (with perhaps a twist of drug abuse or suicidal thinking), then subscribing to a religion can help you climb to a higher level of awareness. Your mindset, however, still remains incredibly dysfunctional; you’ve merely swapped one form of erroneous thinking for another.

For reasonably intelligent people who aren’t suffering from major issues with low self-esteem, religion is ridiculously consciousness-lowering. While some religious beliefs can be empowering, on the whole the decision to formally participate in a religion will merely burden your mind with a hefty load of false notions.

When you subscribe to a religion, you substitute nebulous group-think for focused, independent thought. Instead of learning to discern truth on your own, you’re told what to believe. This doesn’t accelerate your spiritual growth; on the contrary it puts the brakes on your continued conscious development. Religion is the off-switch of the human mind.
Leave the mythology behind, and learn to think for yourself. Your intellect is a better instrument of spiritual growth than any religious teachings.

2. Loss of spiritual depth perception.

One of the worst mistakes you can make in life is to attach your identity to any particular religion or philosophy, such as by saying “I am a Christian” or “I am a Buddhist.” This forces your mind into a fixed perspective, robbing you of spiritual depth perception and savagely curtailing your ability to perceive reality accurately. If that sounds like a good idea to you, you’ll probably want to gouge out one of your eyeballs too. Surely you’ll be better off with a single, fixed perspective instead of having to consider two separate image streams… unless of course you’ve become attached to stereo vision.

Religious “truths” are inherently rooted in a fixed perspective, but real truth is perspective-independent. When you substitute religious teachings for truth, you mistake shadows for light sources. Consequently, you doom yourself to stumble around in the dark, utterly confused. Clarity remains forever elusive, and the best answer you get is that life is one giant mystery. Religious mysteries, however, arise not from what is truly unknowable; they arise from the limitations of trying to understand reality from a fixed frame of reference.

A more intelligent approach is to consider reality through a variety of different perspectives without trying to force your perceptions into an artificial religious framework.

3. Engineered obedience training.

Religions are authoritarian hierarchies designed to dominate your free will. They’re power structures that aim to convince you to give away your power for the benefit of those who enjoy dominating people. When you subscribe to a religion, you enroll in a mindless minion training program. Religions don’t market themselves as such, but this is essentially how they operate.

Religions are very effective at turning human beings into sheep. They’re among the most powerful instruments of social conditioning. They operate by eroding your trust in your own intellect, gradually convincing you to put your trust into some external entity, such as a deity, prominent figure, or great book. Of course these instruments are usually controlled by those who administrate the minion training program, but they don’t have to be. Simply by convincing you to give your power away to something outside yourself, religion will condition you to be weaker, more docile, and easier to control. Religions actively promote this weakening process as if it were beneficial, commonly branding it with the word faith. What they’re actually promoting is submission.

Religions strive to fill your head with so much nonsense that your only recourse is to bow your head in submission, often quite literally. Get used to spending a lot of time on your knees because acts of submission such as bowing and kneeling are frequently incorporated into religious practice. Canine obedience training uses similar tactics. Now say, “Yes, Master.”

Have you ever wondered why religious teachings are invariably mysterious, confusing, and internally incongruent? This is no accident by the way — it’s quite intentional.

By putting forth confusing and internally conflicting information, your logical mind (i.e. your neocortex) is overwhelmed. You try in vain to integrate such contradictory beliefs, but it can’t be done. The net effect is that your logical mind disengages because it can’t find a pattern of core truth beneath all the nonsense, so without the help of your neocortex, you devolve to a more primitive (i.e. limbic) mode of thinking. You’re taught that this faith-based approach is a more spiritual and conscious way to live, but in reality it’s precisely the opposite. Getting you to distrust your own cerebral cortex actually makes you dumber and easier to manipulate and control. Karl Marx was right when he said, “Religion is the opiate of the people.”

For example, the Old Testament and the New Testament in the Bible frequently contradict each other with various rules of conduct, yet both are quoted during mass. Church leaders also behave in direct violation of the Church’s teachings, such as by covering up criminal and immoral activities by their own priests. Those who try to mentally process such glaring contradictions as coherent truth invariably suffer for it. A highly conscious person would reject membership in such an organization as patently ridiculous. So-called divine mysteries are engineered to be incomprehensible. You aren’t meant to ever make sense of them since that would defeat the whole purpose. When you finally wake up and realize it’s all B.S., you’ve taken the first step towards freedom from this oppressive system.

The truth is that so-called religious authorities don’t know any more about spirituality than you do. However, they know how to manipulate your fear and uncertainty for their own benefit. How nice of you to let them.

Although the most popular religions are very old, L. Ron Hubbard proved the process can be replicated from scratch in modern times. As long as there are large numbers of people who fear the responsibility of their own power, religions will continue to dominate the landscape of human development.
If you want to talk to God, then communicate directly instead of using third-party intermediaries. Surely God has no need of an interpreter. Don’t fall into the trap of becoming a mindless minion. It’s a mistake to think that turning off your neocortex and practicing mindless “faith” will bring you closer to God. In truth it will only bring you closer to dog.

4. Toilet-bowl time management.

If you devote serious time to the practice of religion, it’s safe to say you practice toilet-bowl time management, flushing much of your precious life down the drain with little or nothing to show for it.
First, you’ll waste a lot of time filling your head with useless nonsense. This includes reading some of the worst fiction ever written. Then there are various rules, laws, and practices to learn.

Seriously, if you have insomnia, try reading religious texts before bedtime. You’ll be asleep faster than you can say Methuselah. Why do you think hotels put Bibles next to the bed? It’s the greatest sedative known to man. I have to give props to the Scientologists for at least incorporating space aliens into their stories. It’s a shame Gene Roddenberry didn’t formally invent his own religion; Stovokor sounds like a lot of fun.

Once you finally realize your head has been filled with utter nonsense, you must then purge such garbage from your mind if you want your brain to be functional again. That can take considerably longer, assuming you succeed at all. It’s like trying to uninstall AOL from your hard drive.
Next, you can expect to waste even more time on repetitive ritual and ceremony, such as attending mass, learning prayers, and practicing unproductive meditations.

If I add up the time I attended mass and Sunday school, studied religion in school as if it were a serious subject, and memorized various prayers, I count thousands of hours of my life I’d love to have back. I did, however, learn some important lessons, many of which are being shared in this article.
I especially remember listening to a lot of bad sermons; most priests are hideously poor speakers. Maybe it’s because they drink alcohol while on duty.

Now if you really go overboard and throw in learning a dead language for good measure, you can kiss years of your life goodbye.

The more time you devote to religious practice, the more you waste your life on pointless, dead-end pursuits… and the more you’ll want to delude yourself with a phony “Hehe, I meant to do that” attitude.

5. Support your local pedophile.

In addition to being a serious waste of time, religious practice can also be a huge waste of money.
For starters when you donate to a major religion, you support its expansion, which means you’re facilitating the enslavement of your fellow humans. That isn’t very nice, now is it? If you feel the urge to donate money, give it to a real and honorable cause, not a fabricated one. Better yet, go outside and do something that really helps people. If you can’t think of anything better, grab a can of paint and clean up some local graffiti.

Your religious donations fund freeloaders who mooch off society but who generally provide little or no value in return. Sure there are some religious people who perform valuable public services, but for the most part, that isn’t their bailiwick. These freeloaders typically operate tax-free, meaning they’re effectively subsidized by taxpayers. That’s a great racket if you’re on the receiving side… not so great if you’re funding it though.

Religions offer a suite of special services to generate additional income. They’ll spout some gibberish while feeding you a crusty wafer, pronounce you bonded to a fellow human being, snip some of your excess skin, pour water on your head, proclaim your manhood, cast out your demons, pronounce your transgressions forgiven, and so on. When they can’t think of anything else, they make up some drivel like confirming you’re still loyal to them. The bill may read “suggested donation,” but it’s still a bill.
When you donate money to a religious organization, you’re doing much worse than throwing your money away. You’re actively funding evil. If you think that spending a billion dollars to defend pedophiles and rapists is a good use of your hard-earned cash, perhaps you should run for Pope. You could hardly do worse. At least Wall Street is honest about its greed and lust.

One of my Catholic high school teachers was later revealed to be a repeat child molester… written up in the newspaper and everything. I didn’t see any suspicious behavior at the time, and to be totally honest, I actually liked that teacher and was shocked to learn of his extracurricular activities. He was shuffled from one location to another by those who knew about his appetite for young flesh. I’m glad I wasn’t on the menu, but I feel sad for those who were. Methinks God should raise his standards… just a tad.

Why aren’t Catholic priests allowed to marry? This has nothing to do with what’s written in the Bible or with any benefits of celibacy. This rule was invented by the Church to prevent their priests from producing heirs. When the priests died, their property would go back to the Church, thereby enriching the rich even more. Apparently God needed more cash. It was a very effective policy, as the Church is now among the richest and most powerful organizations on earth. It’s hard to fail when you have a loyal force of lifetime indentured servants who work cheaply and then yield their life savings to you when they die.

Lay religious people (i.e. non-clergy), on the other hand, are encouraged to have lots of babies because that means more people are born into the religion, which means more money and a bigger power base. Condoms are a big no-no; they’re bad for business. Marriage is a big yes; it means more brainwashed babies will be made.

Would you seriously consider this sort of structure a “good cause” worthy of your hard-earned cash?
I have got to get me one of these…



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