How To Set Healthy Boundaries That Contribute To A Healthy, Happy Lifestyle

By Debs de Vries

Have you ever wondered why you work hard in some areas of your life but just don't seem to move forward the way you think you should? Does it sometimes feel to you that your energy is going out - but nothing is coming back. It might very well be that you need to assess your personal boundaries in these areas. It's often necessary to negotiate some difficulties when this happens and this article helps you to face the issues and work through them, step-by- step. The liberation and sense of self-worth you can achieve by doing this is well worth the effort.

Firstly, it's very likely that you may well not always recognise the difference between appropriate and non-appropriate behaviour from others. You may get respect in some areas and not in other areas. you may be willing to tolerate rudeness, pain, abuse of your rights and bad behaviour because that's been the norm for you. It may take a while for you to sift through to your true feelings to start to create a picture of what is good for YOU. You may need time to recognise when something hurts you - or damages your self-esteem: your finances: your family: or your physical self, and that's absolutely fine. The main thing to do, is to start the process and treat it as an on-going effort.

But where do you start? I suggest that you highlight just one area in your life in which you are currently unhappy, angry, exhausted or sad and don't over face yourself by tackling the biggest one to start with unless you are ready for a big change . You need to honestly examine the following factors: -

What is it EXACTLY about the situation that you don't like? (e.g. the way you feel: the consequences of it: the effects on others.)

What is making you feel angry, sad, threatened, suffocated or victimized?

What is it that you get from acting the way you do now? (e.g. avoiding confrontation: maintaining peace: feeling safe: etc.)

What could you say or do differently to change the situation without losing your self-esteem? (e.g. speak up for yourself: respond differently: say "no": say "yes", ask for help)

How could you speak up for yourself in a way that feels safe and respectful.

How could you act in a way that supports you and your needs?

What would you do if you were not scared or tired, and how would you do it in such a way that you do not harm yourself or anyone else (and by harm I do not mean you cannot be angry: By this I mean you need to recognise natural feelings of resentment or spite and avoid using them to manipulate, hurt or deceive in order to set your new boundary).

I suggest you do this at a time when you are not 'triggered' by the situation. Choose a time when you feel calm and have some space to think things through. Writing down your answers, just jotting a few key words even can be very revealing and helpful.

It's also a great idea to find people and groups who you perceive as having the kind of attitudes and behaviours that you would like to have, and to ask for support and ideas. I have found that by sharing some of my "stories" with others I learn a lot. Healthy networks and friends can teach and support you in so many ways, if you are willing to share your issues.



About The Author
Debs de Vries is the U.K.'s leading provider of relaxation and guided imagery downloadable recordings and CDs. Her work in the field of wellness and wellbeing includes coaching, and a membership site to show people how to create wellbeing and wellness in their daily lives, with minimal fuss and maximum benefit. Go to:http://wellbeingsecrets.co.uk now to sign up for free newsletters AND http;//thewellnessaudioshop.co.uk for samples of recordings.

The author invites you to visit: http://thewellnessaudioshop.co.uk



Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8789.shtml

Change Is Inevitable

 
By Susan Russo

"Change always comes bearing gifts." -Price Pritchett

One of my favorite quotes is: "Pain is inevitable; suffering optional." It's the same with change. It's inevitable that life situations will change and that change may be accompanied by unease and it can be a bit scary stepping out of your comfort zone into the unknown.

Once you begin to accept what has happened, whether you wanted it or not, you then choose how you are going to handle it. There are times where you may even be the one who instigates the change and it still feels as if you are at odds with things.

Obviously when you are the one who wanted the change it's less traumatic to embrace but when you are the one who is left in the lurch so to speak, it can come fraught with a barrage of emotions.

Dealing with what you are left with is like being lost in a forest hoping to see a clearing in the distance. You will get through the thicket one step at a time, just as you will get through your emotional upheaval. But, it's when you refuse to let go of what happened and dwell on what if, if only and why that you remain attached to the situation and you suffer.

Attachment to something, someone or some outcome holds you prisoner when change does show up. Attachment will allow negative thoughts and feelings like regrets, revenge, jealousy, and fear to consume you.

Know that just because things didn't work out the way you wanted them to doesn't mean you can't go on to have a great life regardless of what has happened.

Many times it's a blessing in disguise but you are so absorbed with your pain or fear that you lose focus of the fact that you're still surrounded by many blessings in your life.

The reality is that there isn't anyone on this planet that doesn't experience change in one form or another. So accept that it's inevitable and then be determined to choose a path of dealing with it that will not only serve you well but will allow you to live with peace and happiness just as you were intended to.

We all have the freedom to choose. So, when you choose to take the high road and pick up the pieces of your life, minus all of the emotional garbage you may hold onto, you will not only move on sooner rather than later but you'll have a better journey along the road of life while knowing that if everything really does change, even your pain and fear will change to acceptance and peace.






About The Author
Susan Russo is an author and coach whose work has inspired people from all over the world to take back their power! Would you like to empower yourself to do the same? Discover Susan's 7 Keys to unlock your power by picking up your FREE report at=>
http://www.susan-russo.com


The author invites you to visit: http://www.whystay.com



Article Source:http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8813.shtml

Do You Need an Explanation?

By Susan Russo

"Life is accepting what is and working from that." -Gloria Naylor

When things happen that you don't like and leave you feeling hurt or overwhelmed with some sort of emotional residue don't make it harder on yourself by searching for an explanation. Oh sure, you can go on a seek-and-find mission, but don't turn it into your life's work.

The reality is you may never know. And, there you are wasting more precious time on a toxic person or a toxic situation, just to try and figure out, "why."

Learn how to simplify your life by accepting what's happened and know that you will get beyond it just like everyone else who goes through "stuff" gets over it too. Or, you can hang on and drive yourself crazy trying to figure out why people do what they do and why they are who they are.

When someone violates you on any level, decide how you are going to handle it and move on. Don't try to change them or reason with them, argue with them or force some sort of explanation out of them.

You can attempt to force them to think like you or try and get them to see your side but that can turn into an exercise in futility.

Honor yourself by having boundaries that people can't cross over and plant your feet firmly on the ground so that when something does happen, it may make a dent but you won't crumble.

People have different agendas, aren't on the same page, don't see life the same as you but that doesn't mean you have to change their mind. Instead make up your mind to put it behind you and move on to a better place.

You may not like it, you may not have wanted it and you may not have even seen it coming, but dwelling on it isn't going to change a thing. The only thing you can change is your attitude towards it.

You are the only one who can choose whether you are going to let this eat you alive or chalk it up to a part of life and move on.

So if you really need an explanation here it is: Sometimes things happen that we wish didn't and it's your choice to either hold onto it or let it go. It's that simple. Choose to have a good life no matter what happens.



About The Author
To find out more about how to stop wasting your time and begin living your best life now, go to: http://www.susanrusso.com Susan's work has inspired people from all over the world to take back their power! Learn the secrets in Susan's new book: "The 7 Keys to Unlock the Power Within You."


The author invites you to visit: http://www.whystay.com


Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8855.shtml

The Crack Addict Secret to Success

By Valery Satterwhite


The other day a friend asked me how I help people. I told her, very simply, that I teach people how to crack their world open to reveal thrilling new possibilities and opportunities that they couldn't see before. She laughed and said I encourage people to become Crack Addicts.

HA!

In that context, I do. In fact, it's now replaced Starbucks lattes as my preferred drug of choice.

If you're stuck in the muck of your circumstance its hard to see clearly. You are blind to opportunities because you can't see through the schmutz on you perspective lens. The world is nothing but your perception of it. You see only through yourself. You hear only through the filter of your story. You're closed up in the shell of a tale that limits you.

Here's the thing....

In order to get a clear view of what is really going on you have to get out of your head and into your truth. You have to crack open your perspective to let some light in the shadowy areas that elude you.

When you're overwhelmed or on a path that's not getting you where you want to go chances are you're interfering in your experience. You're adding meaning and interpretation that often isn't based in reality. What you're experiencing is often merely a triggered reaction served up through a misguided belief you hold around an event in your past.

You can't really see where you are and where you can go because, frankly, you're not there! You're stuck in the past somewhere. Even when you're worrying about the future, you're stuck in the past. Future projections tend to be grounded in past experience.

Worry is a negative energy sparked by a negative past experience and catapulted into the future. Excitement is a positive energy fueled by a positive past experience. Invest your energy in what you want instead of what derails you.

You are not your past. Your past is not your truth. It is just an interpretation of your truth. Who you are is the generative force of your personal power. When you feel stressed, overwhelmed or frustrated you have given up your power to what I call the Inner Critic. This fraidy-cat egotistic part of you does not want you to move beyond the comfort zone of your current state even though you may not like it very much. Your Inner Critic wants you to stay right where you are where it is 'safe'.

If you're in the place of not being able to see any light in a daunting experience ask yourself the following question:

"Where is it that I am not stepping into my power, what am I not giving voice to or where am I not moving forward authentically?"

Ask your heart, not your mind, what you want to create or do in that moment. Your heart is the voice of your true self, intuition and inspiration - your truth. Your chatterbox Inner Critic is the voice of your fear and self-doubt.

Which part of you do you choose to hold and direct your power?

Empowerment is about more than just being present. It is about being fully in the truth of that moment. Develop a habit of cracking open your world.

Your opportunities are often hidden in your obstacles. Look for the gifts in the challenges you face. They're there, I promise you.



About The Author
Author, Speaker and Inner Wealth Expert, Valery personally consults with discerning individuals who require bespoke individual attention. She teaches people how to get out of their own way in order to transform inner emotional disconnection into a meaningful inner wealth that matches an affluent lifestyle. Get complimentary eBook:http://www.MoxieTherapy.com

The author invites you to visit: http://www.moxietherapy.com


Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_8908.shtml