Thursday, 25 April 2013

Wise words

By James Kyle

There is a Stepehn Covey quote "Begin with the end in mind" that seems appropriate to begin this blog post. Because in fact the following is basically the final handout that I give out as part of one of my workshops that is structured entirely around a series of quotes and words of wisdom. This handout is a summary of the most significant quotes and the corresponding key points to be underlined. I offer it here as a foretaste of some of the themes of blog posts to come. If there is anything in particular that you would like me to make a point of covering earlier rather than later feel free to leave a comment to that effect.

Self Responsibility

“I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.” 

Charles M. Schulz (1922 – 2000) American cartoonist.
Appreciate different people have different views of reality. This is crucial to negotiating agreements in life and in the workplace.

“Don't get mad get even.”  (in the nicest possible way of course)
Ivana Trump.
Take responsibility for your own actions and your response to other people’s actions – avoid an external locus of control viewpoint – don’t allow yourself to be a victim. By projecting yourself assertively and confidently this will create your own reality.

Awareness and Change

The map is not the territory

“Awareness per se - by and of itself - can be curative.” 
Fritz Perls (1893 - 1970) German-born psychiatrist and psychotherapist.
Simple awareness can initiate change.

“An unexamined life is not worth living.” 
Socrates c. 469 BC–399 BC, classical Greek Athenian philosopher
Question all your internal maps of reality constantly – bad maps lead to ineffective behaviour. In particular your concept of you is more flexible than you currently believe. By taking responsibility for changing the mental map of who you are, you can become more effective in your dealings with life – in the workplace and in general.

“My life has been filled with terrible misfortune; most of which never happened.”
Michel Eyquem De Montaigne (French Renaissance Philosopher and Writer. 1533-1592)
Whether your problems are real or imagined, awareness is difficult if you are emotionally fragmented / not centred.

“Give me the child until he is seven and I’ll give you the man.” 
St. Francis Xavier (1506 – 1552) Roman Catholic missionary and co-founder of the Society of Jesus
Set yourself an objective to be aware of what rules are driving your current behaviour and where they are derived from. Similarly be aware of your triggers. Recall our shared insanity as described by RET.

“Whether you think you can or can’t, you are right.” 
Henry Ford (1863 –1947) prominent American industrialist
Be constantly aware of your self talk.

“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”
Thomas Edison (1847 –1931) American inventor, scientist, and businessman
See the limiting safety of your usual self as an addiction. To deal with an addiction you need perseverance.

“Be yourself. No one can say you're doing it wrong.”
Snoopy: Charles M. Schulz (1922 – 2000) American cartoonist
Realize that as an adult you no longer need other people’s permission. Additionally there is no rule that says you must be consistent – and in fact this works against experimenting with different behaviour.

“to see ourselves as others see us.”
Robert Burns (1759 –1796)
See life as a mirror – see upsetting incidents as learning opportunities. Crucially, and a key skill in life and in the workplace, focus on actively looking for feedback.

“Nothing is either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” 
Shakespeare (1564, 1616) English playwright and poet
Avoid thinking in terms of right/wrong rather evaluate as effective/ineffective. Avoid going into emotional upset due to judgment.

“Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.” Aleister Crowley 
(St. Augustine of Hippo: Love, and do what thou wilt : 354 – 430 a Christian theologian, rhetor, North African bishop)
If effective and the right thing to do – go for it. You do not need anyone else’s permission.

Life as a learning adventure

What is the worst that can happen?
Who is going to stop me?

“How you deal with the issue is the issue.” Anon
Stay centred. Consider that on each and every occasion we all do the best we can at the time. Approach life with a solicitor persona – deal calmly and rationally with the issue, whether personal or work related.

“No use crying over spilt milk.” Anon
Don’t constantly recycle the emotional upset of the past.

“If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten.”
Anthony Robbins (b. 1960) American self-help author and motivational speaker
Take risks – make a habit of moving outside your comfort zone. And remember: “A winner loses more often than losers.”

Set SMARTER goals
Specific, Measurable, Agreed, Realistic, Time-bound, Energized, Recorded.

“The difference between try and triumph is just a little umph!”
Marvin Phillips
Like with any objective, self change should be approached with an attitude of High intensity – Low attachment.

And, of course,

“If you can't, you must. If you must, you can.” 
Anthony Robbins (b. 1960) American self-help author and motivational speaker
Approach all of life as a learning experience all of the time. it's playtime!

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