Thursday, 17 April 2014

7 Steps to Overcoming Hurtful Situations

By Clint Beley

When you become constantly exposed to certain emotional, mental or physical trauma, your body tends to respond in a way that protects itself from further experiencing the ordeal. It shuns away from any possible contact that can open itself to the probability of experiencing the distress once again. The mind is a powerful thing, it governs the activities in our body - even ones that we are not aware of; such as emotional detachment.

Understanding Emotional Detachment: Why You Need It

Nobody chooses to be emotionally detached from anything or anyone, not unless it would mean freeing themselves from more pain and hurt. Sometimes, you just really need to save yourself from that which pains and traumatizes you, and sometimes you just simply need to learn how to be emotionally detached.

Here are 7 Steps to Be Emotionally Detached

1. Teach your body to relax.

While some activities your body does are involuntary, some are not. When you become stressed out because of certain factors, your bodily functions are similarly affected; your muscles become tense, your blood pressure rises and so does your heart rate. There is however a way to avoid or at least keep the increasing vitals to a minimum.. In attempting to be emotionally detached, you wouldn't want to make the decision while your bodily functions are crazily racing, therefore, the first step is to teach your body to relax and take deep breaths

2. Control what runs across your mind.

Do not allow any disturbing thought or experience  traumatize you. Block out any image or voice that rekindles the strain. While this is a lot easier said than done, it is not impossible to do. You need to learn how to transform a negative picture into a positive one as this can control your attitude and behavior towards things. So instead of obsessing about the distressful event or person, train your mind to divert the thought and think about other stuff such as the beautiful places you yourself have been to or want to go to, or even count imaginary sheep before going to bed - think about anything that can take your mind away from the stressful mind-set.

3. Be physically active.

The more you become a couch potato or a hermit in your room the more you are giving a chance for the negative feelings and thoughts to visit you. Doing physical activities will help you get your mind off things that are disturbing you; furthermore, you get to save yourself from possibly revisiting distracting thoughts, events and feelings. So get up and move those muscles, think about the good paybacks you can get from working off those muscles.

4. Do not be afraid to cry and feel the pain.

Denying that you have a cross to bear would only aggravate the situation to the nth power. When you learn to accept the sad fact that you are hurt, lonely and traumatized, you give a way out for yourself. It is healthy to allow yourself to feel the pain as this can be a key to revive you and get you back from the state of being emotionally detached to not. However, while you allow yourself to swim in the sea of pain and loneliness refuse to get drowned; feel the hurt and cry, but force yourself to get back up.

5. Keep a journal or diary.

Often times, it could be difficult to open up to someone, even to your closest friends and loved ones, so you keep the feelings all to yourself; this is not healthy and all these feelings can pile and eat you up. Write them down. This can help you ventilate your thoughts and feel a little better. There is a magic to keeping a journal of your thoughts.With time you get to appreciate how far you have grown and become stronger just by going through your journal.

6. Find things that you enjoy doing alone.

Being emotionally detached could be difficult in that you need to do things on your own. To keep things better, list the things that you enjoy doing alone and try to pursue them one by one. Trekking? Surfing? Shopping? Make a bucket list and get busy getting it done. Doing the things you love especially out-door activities free your mind of the build up stress and gives you the needed strength to face the negative situation you are faced with.

7. Practice makes perfect.

If you think you are still unable to detach yourself emotionally from the things that hurt you, try and try again until you succeed. Eventually, your mind will learn to let go of things that are not good and store those that are helpful to you. One good way to free your mind and detached from negative situation is through meditation.

About the Author: A personal development coach and peak performance instructor. Write at Emotional Detachment

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